The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You

Helena

I was outside of a house that I had no idea who lived here or where we were at. I was extremely nervous and scared for what was about to happen. I knew this night was not going to turn out great, but I could still wish right? I felt Robbie reach down and squeezed my hand as he led me towards the party. It looked like one of those parties you would be at every weekend when you were in high school, but I had grown so much since then. I hardly even get drunk anymore, except for that one time. I held on tight as Robbie led me through a sea of bodies and body order. I was almost at the point of gagging. I followed him until we had made it to the drink station where he was about to hand me a beer. I swallowed hard as I found the strength to say no to the drink, I did not need a repeat from the other party. He only shrugged his shoulders and placed the beer back down. I could hear the music slowly start to sound louder and louder. It seemed that there was more and more people joining in on the party and it seemed like it was never going to stop. The cups seemed to pile up around me, filling my senses of alcohol. It was tempting me to let go and have fun, but I knew it would be the stupidest thing for me now. I felt Robbie wrapping his arm around my waist and was pulling me towards various people he knew or need things from. Even though I felt his arm wrapped around me, I still felt like he didn’t care that I was with him. I was more or less an accessory to him.

“Robbie, I want to get out of here,” I yelled over the music.

“Not yet, we will leave when I am ready,” he said bitterly and headed off towards the other direction, leaving me alone in the middle of a crowd where I did not know anyone. I felt myself start to feel scared and that’s when I knew Holly was right, that this was not a good idea. Robbie was no more than a mistake I made at a party. He wasn’t someone I could get close to and sure as hell he didn’t want to get to know me. He just wanted to get into my pants. I made my way to the side of the room and reached into my pocket to get my cell phone. I was shaking and feeling more scared in my whole life. All I wanted was to feel his arms around me again, to make me safe like the used to do. I searched through the phone book until I found Holly’s name. I opened the text message and told her, ’ I wish I listened to you, you were totally right.’

I felt a lot of people rub their disgusting bodies against me and all I could do was moving over a foot. It killed me that Robbie was not caring, nor even in sight. I sighed heavily as I felt yet again an elbow dig into my side while that person was making out with his girlfriend. I moved around the bodies swiftly and into the kitchen where Robbie was playing beer pong with a couple of his friends. I felt a rage inside of me that was unexplainable. I had never been treated this way, nor should I have been. Gerard would never…That’s when it started to it me. I was foolish. I was being this self centered woman that did not realized what I had right under my nose. I had let my anger and frustration get in my way and not noticed my true feelings. I pushed my way towards the boys and stood next to Robbie, pulling on his arm, “I want to get out of here Robbie.”

“Not yet Helena, can’t you see that I am busy?” he said annoyed and pulled his arm away, “Anyways, we will leave when I say I am ready.”

I looked at him in disbelief, that he was actually treating me this way. He wasn’t like this at the other party and he was actually concerned about me at the ice cream stand. I was so angry and hurt that all I wanted to do was get out of there, I wanted to be far away from this place and this man I had no idea who he was. I knew the only way to get out of here was to reach into his pocket and just take his keys. I did not care if it was stealing; I just needed to get out of there. I reached out towards this jeans and was about to grab his jeans when he violently pulled my hand out of his pocket. He was holding my arm tightly, cutting off the blood circulation. I looked up at him scared for my life as he stared into mine. He looked beyond angry and I knew that I wasn’t going to make it out fine tonight. Suddenly I saw his hand rise up and felt its slap against the slide of my cheek. The force was so hard, that I almost fell to the floor. But his grasp around my arm was so tight that I didn’t move an inch. I felt the tears swell up and I wished for nothing more than for Gerard to come in here now and save me. I wanted him to come in here and to take me away from this horrible place, “I told you that we will leave when I am ready. But you got me so mad, that I want to leave now and teach you a lesson.”

I swallowed hard and looked around quickly and noticed that no one was watching, and if they were, no one cared. I felt the tears fall out freely as Robbie was pulling my arm towards the front door, practically dragging me. I tried my hardest to get away, but he only held tighter. He was pulling me towards his car and I knew it was not a good idea. He was angry at me and plus he was drinking; he was an accident waiting to happen. He pulled me towards the car and pushed me against the passenger side, holding my hair, “You’re going to wish you never pulled that little stunt darling.”

He opened the car door and shoved me in, hitting my head in the process. He slammed the door shut and walked around the car. As he was walking, I quickly reached for my phone and went through the address book again. I scrolled and scrolled until I found his number, the only one I wanted to talk to. I heard the car door open and he slid into the car. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, filling up the car. He started the car and I stared at the window, figuring out what I was going to say to Gerard. I had no idea how this ride was going to end, and I didn’t like that I did not know either. I was biting my lower lip as I saw that it had begun to rain. I prayed with everything I had that I would make it back to Holly’s safe and sound. All I wanted to do was bring the phone to my ear and tell Gerard how much I still cared, but I knew that would only angry Robbie more. I looked to my phone and saw that it was waiting for me to text in my message. But what would I say to him? Would I tell him the truth or a lie? I swallowed hard as I felt the car start to move and it was picking up more speed. I started to shake for the fear of my life was going to end. I looked over at Robbie and saw the possessed look in his eye, the one that could kill an army. I looked back down at my phone and texted in the only messaged I could think of, ’Gerard, I knew things are rough. But I just want you to know, I still love you and I am sorry’. I hit the send button and just waited for him to reply. I just wanted to know that he still cared about me and still wanted me back too.

Then suddenly, a light was flashing in my eyes, a bright light. I squint to make out what it was until I realized we were on the highway, and Robbie was slowly entering the oncoming traffic, “Robbie!” I screamed as I looked over at him and saw that he had passed out against the window. I felt s chill down the back of my spine and knew right then that I wasn’t going to make it out alive. I knew I was never going to walk again or feel again. I would never get to see my one true love and never get to be held again. I cried as I finally felt the impact of a SUV hitting into the side of the car. I screamed as I felt so alone and scared. I had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. The impact was so forceful that it pushed the car further into the road and yet again, another car had hit the back end of it. The jerk of the car went sideways, causing to hit my head on the glass, causing it to break. As I watched yet another set of bright lights, I slipped into darkness, never to know if I would make it out alive.

Gerard

“I know each and one of you guys have heard that I have been an complete and utter jackass, but I want you all to be the first ones to know, I am a changed man. I am not the guy I used to be, and to prove it here is a song for all of you guys. And never for one second think you are better than the kid next to you, because reality check, you are not,” I yelled into the microphone and turned my back to the crowd. But I felt it in my heart, I was a different man. I was the Gerard who first started to band, the helpful Gerard. I nodded for Bob to start the last song of the night, the one that called for changed. I tapped my foot as I heard the drum beats for the beginning of I’m Not Okay (I Promise). The boys, except for Frankie had joined in with Bob and the whole crowd was on their feet. It was unexplainable the feeling one gets when they are in front of thousands of fans, screaming for more. I turned around and poured my heart and soul into the music. I felt a connection to each of these lines in the song, I was not okay and I realized it. I wasn’t the guy everyone knew and I sure wasn’t the man Helena had fell in love with. I was joining around the stage and singing but I couldn’t get her off my mind. She was clouding my thoughts that I almost messed up a few times. Soon enough I was screaming the song to a close and I breathed heavily and watched as the crowd was in an uproar. They could see I wasn’t the same man anymore and I felt happiness fill my heart. There was only one other person I had to convince, and I knew it would be rather hard for me, “Thank you guys, you were awesome! So long and goodnight!”

I threw the microphone down and walked off stage, high off my emotions. I felt like I could run miles and miles and never stop. I was jumping around and smiling until I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I stopped and turned around to see that Brain was standing behind me, “Your phone was going off a little while ago.”

“Thanks dude,” I said and took the phone. I flipped it open and felt my heart drop. The ID had said Helena. I bite my lip and walked away from the crowd. I had no idea what she had to tell me now, I mean not even a few days ago she had told me to let her go, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t let my heart go, she was everything to me. I shakily pushed the view button and started to read the text message slowly.

’Gerard, I knew things are rough. But I just want you to know, I still love you and I am sorry’

I suddenly felt my heart melt. I had done it, I had won her back. I smiled happily as I kept reading the message over and over again, making sure it was from Helena herself. And it was, it was her number with her name. I looked over my shoulder towards the boys and knew I had to share the news with Mikey, “Mikey!” I jogged over to the boys and noticed that it had suddenly got quiet. Almost too quiet.

“Are you sure?” I heard Bob ask as I noticed he was on the phone. I saw fear in his eyes as he looked up and searched the group until he landed his eyes on me. I felt my heart drop, his face did not look too good, “We will be right out there, hold on Holly.”

“Bob?” I heard Ray ask as I saw his eyes start to get glassy. I pushed my way further into the crowd as I slowly watched his reactions. He was looking down at his phone, wiping the cover and then looking back at us.

“It’s Helena, she was in a really bad car accident,” he choked out and I felt my world crumple. I walked closer to him and saw he was ready to break down, “She is in ICU and she is in a deep Acoma right now. But Holly doesn’t know much more and they aren’t telling her anything else.”

I shook my head and looked back down at my phone. I knew she was saying goodbye, I read it through the lines. I could feel her fear and her loneliness as I read over the text several times. I started to shake and I dropped the phone, not able to look at it anymore. I just broke down crying, all the emotions that I was holding up inside, were now spilling out in my tears. I fell to the ground and cried into my knees. I felt my whole world was just ripped out from under me and there was nothing I could do to prevent it. She was slowly slipping away and all I could do was hold on, hold on until she lets go completely, “We have to get back to Jersey,” was all I said. I heard most of them agree lightly and as I looked up, I noticed that Bob was holding out his hand for me. I looked at it hard and knew he was trying to make up for old times. I took his head with a strong squeeze as he pulled me up to my feet. I nodded my head towards him and together, as a family headed out of the venue and towards the airport, catching the next flight out.