Letters From The Outskirts Of Normality

Oct 8th 2008
Hello,

"Good afternoon Brendon." Ryan smirked as he leaned against his desk when I walked into his classroom this afternoon.
"Uh I'm not sure if you could use the word good, but afternoon Ryan." I sighed taking my place in the sea of desks. We were the only ones in the classroom so far so we could talk pretty freely.
"How are you today? You seem tired, everything go okay last night?" He asked walking towards me and sitting in the desk next to mine.
"You know, as well as it could go. I'll tell you about it after class." I mumbled and he nodded. The room started to fill with students and Ryan went back to his place in front of the room while I laid my head down on the desk. I had gotten about 2 hours of sleep last night so I was dragging today. I didn't want to even get out of bed but I knew I had to. The class period was uneventful. Since I was in the back of the class, Ryan let me keep my head down and pretty much not pay much attention. It felt like hours later before the bell finally wrung. I started to pack my belongings waiting for the room to clear so I could talk to Ryan.
"Did you get any sleep last night?" Was the first thing out of his mouth. I gave a small laugh fallowed by a yawn.
"I got about two hours."
"What all happened? You said everything was okay but your dad was pissed, you want to talk about it?"
I gave a sigh and sat back down in my chair laying my head on the surface. "I walk in, my dad throws a glass at my head, then he backs me up against a wall, hes drunk, my tries to punch me but my mom stops him, then she said she had no daughter. It went just peachy." My voice dripped sarcasm and Ryan's eyes were about to bug out of his head.
"He did what! Brendon, I'm not sure I want you staying there if he's acting to violently towards you!" He spoke his voice full of concern and worry.
"No It's okay, I'll manage. I've only got 8 more months and I'm 18. I can handle it."
Ryan looked uneasy about the idea and as if he wanted to say something more but kept quiet.
"Okay well I'm going to go get lunch. Do you want anything?" He asked politely but I shook my head and was about to get up before he pushed me back down.
"Stay in here and rest. All we need is for you to fall asleep next period and get a detention." I was to tired to argue so I just leaned back down and pulled my jacket into a makeshift pillow. The last thing I heard was Ryan leaving and locking the room before I fell into a light slumber.

"Wow Brendon, I knew you were gay but I didn't think you were this flamboyant." Ryan smirked as he leaned against the doorway. I was standing in Jasey's extremely pink room packing up some of her belonging. Ryan had just arrived to help me when I called him in from downstairs.
"Oh shut up. This isn't my room." I rolled my eyes and Ryan chuckled walking farther into the room.
"So how may I be a service ma' dear?" For some reason him calling me dear brought a light shade of pink to my cheeks which of course caused Ryan's smirk to grow.
"Uh, I guess you can start just throwing all her clothes into those suitcases." I answered pointing to the pile of empty suitcases. He nodded and rolled up his sleeves.

Two hours, three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, one pillow fight and a few awkward moments (such as the underwear drawer or the unknown substances under the bed) later, Ryan and I had officially packed up Jasey's room. We had carried the boxes down and squeezed them all into Ryan's car when I ran back into my room to grab my keys so I could get into the house later. I hadn't realized it but Ryan had followed me into the room and watched me as I searched under my bed for the keys.
"I'm liking this view." Ryan finally commented as I was half laying on the bed, half hanging off, my ass sticking in the air towards him. I shot up and lost my balance, falling on the floor with a thump.
"Found em!" I called grabbing my keys from under the bed. Ryan chuckled and I stood back up.
"Nice room you got here *insert my last name here*" He nodded and looked around my room. I had my hands in my pockets, looking towards the floor not really sure what to do. My room was really plain and a mess from when Jack stayed here.
"Uh, it's a mess. But thank you?"
"You're welcome." He smiled and I felt my cheeks heat up again. Dammit what is with me and blushing all of a sudden!
He walked closer so that he was standing right in front of me, as I was pushed against the edge of my bed. I gulped and he bit on his bottom lip. I felt like I was getting lost in his Carmel eyes when he started to lean in. I followed his actions my leaning in and I estimate about a quarter inch between our lips (my eyes were closed) when he suddenly pulled away before any contact could have been made.
"We should go." He declared clearing his throat and jumping back. I stood there not bothering to hide the confusion and hurt on my face but he just walked down the stairs and out towards the car.

God, I'm so confused. I thought he liked me. I mean he almost kissed me. He was the one to make all the fist moves. I swear he must be bipolar or something. No one can be this confusing. I just want a straight answer. I have enough drama in my life without adding a confusing male to the mix. Well, I guess he's in there no matter what, but he isn't helping the situation.
Tell me what is going on? I'm almost tempted to give you my number so you can call me and tell me what the fuck is going on.

Oh! Jon's calling. I should get that. I'll keep you posted as always.
Lord help me,
Brendon