Letters From The Outskirts Of Normality

Sep 22nd 2008
Dear person who will receive this letter,

Its Monday around 4 o'clock. I just got home from school. First day of seeing Ryan since our little, yeah you know. It was pretty uneventful actually. I mean its not like I was expecting it to BE eventful, its just, ack I really don't know. He just acted as if nothing happened. And apparently to him, nothing did happen but I know something did happen! I've been thinking about it all weekend and god dammit something is between us! There's just no way there isn't anything. Teachers don't just pick up students from the library and take them places where they pay for everything and actually talk about things and not just school work. Its not normal, friend! It's just not! So, I have come to the conclusion that he is in denial. That's it. It's not me, it's him. But I think thats enough talk about that scumbag,that has been stealing my heart. Hm? Did you see something?

Jon called yesterday. We talked for about 2 hours before he had to go because him and some of his dorm buddies were all going out for pizza. I pretended like I wasn't jealous or hurt. I mean he has a life besides his old best friend all the way across the country who's still in high school. Oh pa-shaw. How uncool is that.
He seemed to be doing really good though. Since that was the first time we really talked, since he moved out there, there was a lot to catch up on. He told me about this new girl in his bio class who he is planning to ask out soon. He talked about his roommate, William, who apparently gave me the boot from number one on Jon's list of 'skinniest people he knows'. He told me how great it was to be out of high school and away from the wrath of parents and rules. I guess I got a tad bit jealous but my turn is coming, Less than 9 months. Hey! If I knocked up a girl right now, I'd have a baby before school let out. Wait, no I'm not going to knock up a girl. Where the fuck did that come from? Ah, okay anyways, I then told him about senior year and how its just as bad as all the other years but at least this go around you get to tell yourself after 'this time you don't have to go through it again the next year'. He laughed at that. I really love Jon's laugh. I wish he was here. Okay Brendon we seriously need to stay on track here. Sorry, I need to take my Ritalin. My mind's kind of wandering. I told Jon about Jasey and my mom fighting and he said that they always fight, that it was nothing big and it'll blow over soon enough. I guess he's right. There's just something that they're not telling me. He then said he had to go. William was dragging him from his bed and out the door and that he would call me later. I really hope I'm not being replaced.

Now, here I am writing to you and spilling all my secrets and thoughts. You're like my personal diary. Don't you just feel special? Of course you do. I have some headphones on which are happily playing Wolf Parade. Have you ever heard of them? They're really good, you should listen to them. I suggest listening to Crazy horse. But I guess the reason I have my headphones on is because downstairs I can hear my mother and Jasey fighting. My dad's been throwing in a few lines here and there but nothing major. He likes to relax on his days off so getting into fights really isn't his idea of relaxation. I don't blame him though. Sounds like he just came upstairs to watch TV in the game room instead. Why am I telling you this? You don't care. All you want to hear is about my steamy affair with my English teacher. Oh Jesus here I go again. Why does my mind always skip to that? It's not even an affair really. Its like an infatuation. Wow, big word there. But seriously that's what it is. He is a hot guy who happens to be a teacher and of course my male teenage mind is taking that fact to advantage and telling my brain that I actually like this guy.

Okay new subject, here we go.
Do you like the movie garden state? I just love it. It's so abstract and random. Like really what is the point of the movie besides a guy getting off his meds that his father put him on, and moving to Jersey from Cali because he fell in love with this girl after like 3 days. Ryan says it's his favorite movie though and he thinks Zac Braff did an amazing job with writing the script- WAIT. Ryan? God- How- Why- AUGH- shit.

Was that breaking glass? Ah crap I gotta go.

Cheers!
Brendon

P.S. - Sorry this letters kind of screwy. I'll make sure my minds more focused and able next time I write.