Breathe in Breathe Out

When I woke up the next morning I went to the front of the bus where only Andy was sitting I started to walk away until he said, “Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not your avoiding me more than I’m avoiding you Butcher.”

“I’ve just been waiting for you to talk to me

“Well that’s not even fair. You said you’d talk to me when tour started what was I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know,” He said sadly “I’m just making up excuses”

“For what Andy? You made it pretty clear your over me, you hate me, your ignoring me and you have a new girlfriend.” I said getting pissed.

“I don’t have a new girlfriend I lied to everyone, I thought you had probably found someone and I don’t know I thought it would make you mad.”

“Oh well that’s really nice of you, and no I didn’t find another guy because for some God damn reason I can’t get over you; in the beginning I was the reason we couldn’t be together now I changed everything for us to be together and you don’t want it.” I said starting to walk to the back of the bus.

“Don’t leave!” he said grabbing my arm. I shook it off and walked to the back.

“William let’s do something I need to get out of this bus.” I said Sisky, Michael, and Mike looked at me like I was going crazy but I kind of felt like I was.

William got up and right before we were going to leave the bus William saw Andy, He looked like a sad puppy it made me feel terrible.

“Hey Andy what’s wrong? You look upset.” William asked

“Don’t worry about me I’m sad because it’s my fault.”

“Alright man, if you need me call me.” he said confused Walking out of the bus.

“William I want a different jacket this one is dirty I’ll meet you outside.” I said trying to make a reason to talk to Andy if only for a minute. I went to my bunk and grabbed my red American apparel hoodie then walked back into the front lounge.

“So, Andy why are you sad?”

“Really your calling me Andy again?”

“Yeah. So why are you sad?”

“Because you’re right, I mean you gave up everything for us and I just let it go. I don’t know why either I mean you were the first girl I liked in a long time.”

“Well I could have told you that I was right.” I said giving him a kiss on the cheek ‘But don’t think I’ll come so easily.” I said walking out of the bus.

“What took so long?” William asked

“I couldn’t find the jacket I wanted, I ended up getting this one.”

“Well I like that one, but I’m also guessing you talked to Andy.”

“You know me too well Mr. Beckett.” I said making fun of him.

“Well I hope I do I mean we practically lived together back in Chicago, if I didn’t know you I would be worried.”

“Ok well if you know me so well what do you think I want to eat right now?” I said.

“Since I know you too well I know this is a trick question because you hate eating in the mornings so the answer is nothing.” I hate how well he knows me.

“Dude how did you even get that right, jerk? Anyways I will settle for some coffee let’s find a star bucks.” I said running away from him.

When we got back to the bus later it was time for sound check which meant I had to start setting up the merch table. As I was setting the merch table Ben Jorgensen the lead singer of Armor For Sleep came up to me.

“Hey, so you The Academy Is… merch girl?” he asked

“Yes, and your from Armor For Sleep, I love your band.”

“Well thank you. Your looking good today, you know I have shoes just like those.” He said pointing down at the nikes I borrowed from Sisky. I heard someone call Ben

“Sorry I have to go to sound check; maybe we can get some coffee later or something.” He said winking at me before leaving the room. Guys are so stupid.

The first show of the tour was amazing but I think I was finally getting sick of The Academy Is…’ songs. Then the encore happened I heard William say “This song none of you have heard before but this song was written by one of my best friends and it means a lot to her. So here we go.” I asked Armor For Sleep’s Merch guy to watch my table so that I could watch; it was amazing. A dark stage with a spotlight on the two stools that William and Andy were sitting on I was in awe of how good it sounded coming from their mouths.

I felt an arm drape around my shoulder, Ben.

“So, are we still on for starbucks tonight?”

“Yeah once everyone leaves cause I still have to do merch.”

“Or… we can go right now my merch guy can watch your table.”

“Well I don’t have my money so you might have to wait a while.” I said

“Are you stalling? If you don’t want to go just say no, because I was already planning to pay for you.”

“Well I guess we can go if its not too much trouble for your merch guy.” He talked to his merch guy and we walked to starbucks. I ordered a vanilla bean frappuccino with caramel, while Ben got a cappuccino (we were complete opposites)

“So how long have you known The Academy Is… boys?” he asked

“Longer than they’ve been a band I went to high school with William freshman and sophomore year and I knew Sisky because I dated his brother the rest of them I met once the band was started.”

“Oh I thought you would have dated one of them and became their merch girl that way that happens a lot”

“Well I barely became their merch girl I used to work at my dad’s hotel chain but I decided to leave it someone in the band and me liked each other kind of its confusing.”

“Yeah sounds like it why aren’t you together?”

“Well at first it was my fault and then it was him; but now I’m single and sad.”

“A girl like you shouldn’t be sad or single. But why was it your fault in the beginning?”

“Because I got back with my ex-boyfriend, I don’t really know why I did it I don’t know what I was thinking I mean my ex-boyfriend really loved me he even proposed to me and I had to break his heart cause I didn’t love him.” I just told my whole life story hes probably bored why do I make the worst first impressions.

“Wow that’s crazy but why aren’t you with him you seemed like you loved him.”

“Well its not me its him but I’m just taking life as it comes to me.”

“Well you’re a good person I don’t even know you and I can tell, I can just feel it.”

“That’s sweet you’re a nice guy. We should hang out more.”

“Definitely but the night isn’t over yet.” He smiled and then Andy walked in.

“Hey Andy.” I said

“Hey Electra, what are you doing here?”

“What does it look like, she’s drinking some coffee with me.” Ben said in a smug tone.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize could you please not be so rude next time.” Andy gave him a look. I just looked scared that something would happen. “Well are you going to be here long?” Andy asked.

“Actually we were just going to leave, sorry.” I said with an apologetic smile

“No its ok I just thought we could all hang out but whatever I’m good I just wanted some coffee anyways.”

I started to pout I felt bad but he did lie to me about the whole girlfriend thing should I be rude too? Revenge is never the answer. And it’s not lady like either I learned that when I was young. But still I left with Ben “So that’s the guy huh?” he asked.

“What?”

“That’s the one from The Academy Is… you…loved.?”

“No, Even if it was I wouldn’t tell you I don’t need to tell you enough people know already I’m sorry.”

“Its ok I understand, So what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know but I do know I need to go back to the bus I’m really cold and need a warmer jacket.”

‘I can keep you warm” I laughed at his corniness as he put his arm around my shoulder and it surprisingly did make me warmer, it made me feel normal something I haven’t felt in a long time. I don’t know why but I found a sense of feeling, a normal friendship?

We walked down the street talking about whatever we wanted I felt normal around him it was a different feeling than I had with anyone. It was now one in the morning and we were super tired.

“We should probably go to sleep.” He said

“Yeah that probably is a good idea.” I said yawning. He gave me a hug that lasted too long to be a friendly hug that lasted too long to be a friendly hug.

“Night” I said “Lets hang out tomorrow.” When I walked into the bus and saw Andy I felt like a whore. It’s not like I was dating Andy and even if I was me and Ben were hanging out
as friends.

“Have fun tonight?” He asked

“Yeah Ben and I have a lot to talk about.”

“I’m sure that’s all you did.” He said under his breath.

“You know what, that IS all we did I don’t like him I like you don’t get jealous. If I didn’t like you I would still be Gabe’s fiancé, I wouldn’t be on this tour and I sure as hell wouldn’t be talking to you.” I said quite loud.

“You can keep saying you like me but I will never know if your telling the truth I mean you told Gabe you loved him was that the truth?” I heard movement from the back of the bus meaning some or all of them were trying to see what was going on (as if they couldn’t hear)

“Andy I love you, what do you want me to prove? You know what I will prove it just tell me what you want me to do. Want me to break off another engagement for you? I’ll do anything for you to believe me.” I got really close to him “Just believe me” I started crying this was ridiculous I was fighting for a guy who didn’t even believe me.

“Electra you don’t have to prove anything if he doesn’t believe you he doesn’t deserve you.” William said as he now had me in his arms so that I could cry into him. “Andy I think you got your point across, now just leave her alone.” Everyone was against Andy and on my side I felt bad for him but he was being paranoid just why wouldn’t he believe me that’s all I wanted.

“Are you going to be okay?” William asked me we were in the back lounge and I was laying down on his lap

“Yeah, just tell me why he won’t believe me.”

“He’s a stubborn guy and I mean you don’t give him much to trust you haven’t been a complete angel.”

“I know but he should believe me I really do love him but I don’t know how to prove it.

“You’ll find a way if its meant to be”

“Thank you William, I think I need some sleep I had a weird day