Can't I Just Marry Batman?

He let out a low huff, rubbing the back of his head. His calloused fingers threaded through his chocolate brown hair that was not quite long enough yet to knot. He had never seen these; his parent’s secret, though he had heard about it. He let his fingertips lace the words on the cover, slowly picking up dust. He only knew a little about the secret, from friends at school and his Uncle let it slip quite a few times in front of the boy. To him they were his parents, to the rest of the world they were something different, something more? No, Nicholas would die for his parents, would the world? Did the world at one point? Nicholas let out another low grumble; he didn’t get it, why did they want to hide something like this.

“Nick!” A familiar voice cooed, after a slamming of a door. The boy dropped the CD, racing out of the room. His heart ripped through his placid chest as his sneakers thudded on the wooden floor. He ran down the hallway, suddenly stopping in the middle, sliding the rest of the way on the carpet runner. It crinkled up against the faded skirting boards. He kept up his speed until he turned another corner, slowing right down, now face to face with the man.

“Pa!” he whispered, clasping around his slim waist.

“Hey!” He chuckled; he pulled Nicholas up into a hug and carried him through to the kitchen.

“Ah! Dad!” Nick started to laugh as Gerard tickled him.

“What’s the matter?” He teased, still tickling the little boy.

“Stop! It tickles Pa!” He barely got out over the giggles.

“Stop what?” He continued to tease, placing him on the kitchen bench.

“Hey, hey, hey, not where the food is!” Nicholas’ mother warned, smiling at her family.

“Ma! Help me!” Gerard picked him up once again, before pecking his wife’s smiling lips and carrying him through to the lounge room.

“Grr!” Gerard grumbled like a lion, placing Nick on the ground and tickling him some more.

“Please Papa, Zio!” Nick gasped.

“What was that? Was that the magic code? I don’t think I heard it properly,” Gerard taunted.

“Zio! Zio! Zio! I said Zio, Pa!” Nick yelled over his laughter.

“Was that Zio?” Gerard smirked, tickling Nick more. Nick squirmed under his fathers grasp.

“Yes! Zio! Zio! I said it Dad!” Gerard stopped tickling Nick and picked him back up, laughing as he carried him back through to Lindsey. Nick squirmed out of his arms, running towards his Mom.

“Ma! Ma! How come you didn’t save me?” Nick glanced up at his mother with hopeful eyes; she was tediously stirring the pasta, smiling to herself.

“Hey honey,” Gerard gestured, following Nicholas into the kitchen. He walked past Nick, reaching for his armpits, tickling them.

“Ah! Dad! Stop! Zio!” But Gerard stopped, only teasing his son before advancing up to Lindsey, slipping his arms around her waist, kissing her neck.

“Hey babe, how was the parent committee meeting?” She turned and pecked his lips, they didn’t like to do anything too sexual in front of their only son, they saved that for when they put him to bed. She could smell his intoxicating aroma, lifted from his porcelain skin; she basked in the moment, slowly breathing in. They stood there hugging for quite a while.

“Ew! Ma, answer me! How come you didn’t save me from Papa?” He looked quite annoyed, upset with his parents paying each other attention and not him.

“Sorry sweetie,” She apologised, turning back around to the pasta, still Gerard hugging her. “But I’ve told you, if he doesn’t wrestle and tickle you, he will just do it to me, rather you then me,” She smiled as Gerard chuckled into her neck.

“Mom! He wouldn’t do that, he loves you!”

“Nicholas, he loves you too! And if you keep going on he will just get madder and come and tickle you!” She warned him while Gerard continued to laugh.

“Well if he loves me why does he do that Ma?” Nick asks wonderingly.

“You’re making him mad sweetie,” Lindsey giggled. Gerard turned towards Nick, growling under his breath, he slowly moved around the bench towards Nicholas.

Nick squealed, “No Dad! Don’t, I want to show you something!” He ran off towards his room, using any excuse to get away from his Father. Gerard chuckled, heading back over to Lindsey.

“So how was the meeting?” She asked again. He carefully slipped his arms around her waist, slowly kissing her neck passionately.

“Not here! What if Nick comes back in now?” Lindsey half laughed half warned.

“Ugh fine! But don’t expect me to be careful later on,” He purred seductively as she blushed. “The meeting was good; they want to build a pool at the school,”

“Oh really? When?” She drained the pasta, emptying it into 3 bowls, one relatively smaller then the other two entailing a Batman design.

“The plans will go in soon, and then they are planning to start the digging in the summer vacation for it to be ready by the start of next year,” Gerard replied, untangling himself at the sound of Nicholas’ feet thudding back down the hallway. Gerard advanced out of the kitchen and through the front door to retrieve the bins. Nicholas’ had stopped half way down the hallway, too far away for Lindsey to know what he was doing. Nick picked up the phone and pressed the worn out button that had scribbled on it Mikey and Alicia. He tapped his miniscule feet impatiently against the still crinkled runner as he listened to the echoing ring in the receiver.

“Hello?” A familiar voice answered, not quite recognisable as a female or male voice for a stranger but Nick knew the cheeky sounding voice anywhere.

“Hey Aunty Alish,” He replied confidently.

“Oh, hey babe! What have you been up to?”

“Is Zio Mikey there?” He continued, not picking up on Alicia’s question.

“Oh yeah, I’ll just get him, tell your Mom I send my love,”

“Yes Aunty Alish” He could hear his Aunty call out to Mikey.

“Hey buddy! How are you?”

“Good,” He said quietly. Nick loved his Uncle; he was always a lot of fun around him. But sometimes Nick got shy while talking on the phone, he preferred to talk to people he could see, it freaked him out a bit talking into a plastic handle.

“Well that’s good, what’s the matter then?” Mikey asked,

“Well, I was just wondering Mikes, what is M...C...R?” He asked hesitantly, trying to remember the letters he saw on the CD earlier.

“MCR?” Mikey asked with a shocked tone.

“Yeah, do you know Zio? Cos, your name is on the CD,” He was curious to this secret, he knew that MCR must have had something to do with it but what?

“Oh, right, that MCR,” Mikey began slowly.

“Yeah Zio, what is it?”

“Um, My…Christmas…Reindeer,” His answer took a while to come out; clearly he searched his brain for an answer that would put Nicks mind at ease. He knew Gee didn’t want his son to know anything about MCR or MSI for as long as possible.

“My Christmas Reindeer?” Nick repeated sounding shocked. “What is it?”

“It’s a CD I leant your father last Christmas,” Mikey covered up.

“Oh, but how come Pa’s name is on it as well?” Nick quizzed.

“Oh, that’s because, he drew the cover for it,” Mikey knew that Nicholas and his father drew a lot, Nicholas loved his fathers drawings, he made Gerard draw Batman posters to decorate his room.

“He drew the dead people? The skeleton people?” Mikey knew he shouldn’t have said that Gerard drew the cover, Nick doesn’t know Gerard’s ‘dark’ side that Mikey does, he only knows the loving father that he is, and always will be to Nicholas.

“No, yes, no not really, he coloured the picture in for his friend that drew it,” Mikey quickly made up, he knew Nick would believe him; he had only just turned 6.

“Oh,” Nick was silent for a long pause.

“Was that all?” Mikey questioned hoping that Nick would never think anymore about MCR, one of his parents secrets.

“No, I was wondering, what’s M...S...I?” Nick asked at a slow pace.

“NICK!” His mother yelled out from the kitchen, calling him for dinner.

“Oh, ciao Mikes! Amarla!” Nick quickly whispered.

“Yeah love you too Nicholas,” Mikey replied with a sigh of relief but he had already hung up.

Nick ran through to the kitchen, where his mother and father were sitting at the small table waiting upon his arrival. He skidded through the room straight to his chair, next to his dad.

“Woah, buddy, slow it down there,” His dad chuckled.

“Hey Pa, Ma,” He greeted his parents acting a little too suspicious. He smiled at them then picked up his spoon, suddenly looking uneasy. He loved spaghetti bolognaise, it was his favourite, yet he couldn’t quite eat it like all of the other Italians, with a spoon and fork.

“Hey, don’t worry; just use the fork buddy, okay?” Gerard noticed his discomfort.

“Okay Pa,” He smiled gladly placing the spoon back down. He paused before he dug his fork in, looking up at his dad. He was eating with his fork and spoon with immense ease, quickly and easily turning the fork on the spoon with such grace, twirling the pasta up. He raised it to his mouth taking a big yet clean bite, letting the excess fall back into the bowl, not a single red stain on his chin. Nick continued to watch, Gerard reaching for the parmesan, lightly shaking it over his bowl, the small particles fluttering down, soaking into the thick tomato sauce. Nick reached for the parmesan, doing the same. He picked up his spoon and fork. Twirling the spaghetti around the fork was the tricky part, he slipped on the spoon and spaghetti flung across the table. He looked down, feeling ashamed. Lindsey laughed, lifting the spaghetti off of the clean table, and into her mouth.

“Babe, just use your fork okay? I don’t use one do I?” Lindsey reassured him. But Nick didn’t want to be like his mother, he wanted to be like his big, strong dad but he didn’t like upsetting his mom.

“Okay Ma,” He put his spoon back down and started to eat with his fork. He looked up to his father, who was smiling back down at him. Gerard looked at his only son, Nicholas Ballato-Way and his heart filled with pride, he felt like he was going to burst. He smiled further, grinning with all of his tiny teeth. Nicholas smiled back goofily spilling some spaghetti out of his mouth, falling back into the bowl. He giggled as did Gerard and Lindsey.

“So what were you looking so suspicious about before Nick?” Gerard queried taking another mouthful of spaghetti.

“Huh?” Nick said through a full mouth.

“What were you up to before?” Gerard repeated.

“I was on the phone to Zio Mikes, Pa, is Uncle Mikey crazy?” Nick asked.

“You were on the phone? What were you talking to him about?” Gerard chuckled about the comment his son made about his younger brother.

“You know Pa, lots of stuff,”

“Okay, is he good?”

“Yeah, I think so, he said he was,” Nic took a sip of his apple juice. His mother and father gave each other a confused look before resuming their meal. “Oh yeah, Ma, Aunty Alish says to send her love, are you in love with her?” Nicholas questioned.

“Oh really? No I’m not in love with her, I love her though,” His mother explained, laughing.

“What’s the difference Ma?” Nick asked, confusion sweeping over his smooth features. Nick looked a lot like his mother, he had her thin build, but looking at his face you could tell he was Gerard’s son. He had Gerard’s thin angular nose, his chocolate brown hair, his hazily-green eyes yet there was something, something that screamed Lindsey. It was like he was a miniature Gerard but his skin wasn’t as pale, his lips just weren’t as thin, his eyebrows not as thick, yet these were only small differences that only Lindsey and other close friends could pick up on. His face was Gerard but his essence was Lindsey. Such a chaotic blend that it just worked.

“Well, when you’re in love with someone you love them in a different way, a way were you want to be everything they want you to be, good or bad. Were your loving them more then your sister or your Aunty, a way were no matter what, you could never live without them. When you just love someone you want the best for them, you care about them and you want to be in their lives but when you are in-love, it’s just so much more.” Lindsey tried to explain, Gerard smiling at her, slowly sliding his hand under the table taking hers in his, rubbing his thumb in circles on top of her hand, squeezing it tightly, telling her that he will never let go, no matter what happens.

“I don’t get it Ma,” Nicholas exasperated.

“Don’t worry babe, you don’t fully understand it until you do fall in-love, then you will understand and will be able to tell the difference,”

“Are you in-love with Pa?” He questioned towards his mother.

“Yes,” Lindsey whispered, squeezing Gerard’s hand back tighter.

“Pa, are you in love with Mama?” He queried towards his father this time. He nodded.

“Yes Nicholas, very much so,” Gerard stared into Lindsey’s beautifully deep eyes, letting himself get lost in the pools of her Iris’, he could swim for days, even years in her eyes, letting the sweet liquid drown him in their magnificence.

“Well if you two are in-love, who am I in-love with?” Nicholas asked annoyed.

Gerard chuckled, averting his gaze back to his son, “No one yet Nick, but one day, you will meet someone who will change your world forever, and you will know that they are the one you were made for, the one you will spend the rest of your life with,”

“Ugh! This is all too hard! Can’t I just marry Batman?” Nick asked truthfully. Gerard and Lindsey both laughed at their son’s impatience.

“Yes, of course you can marry Batman, you can and will have everything in this world, Nick you are so special, you can do anything, always remember that,” Gerard said believingly.

“Yes Pa,” Nicholas replied, getting out of his chair and running off down the hallway.

Gerard and Lindsey continued to eat and talk about random things, work, Nick’s school, themselves and anything else that would pop up. They talked for about an hour, while Nick was in his room, playing with his Batman toys they presumed.

Nick had run off to the same room he was in before, the one where he had dropped the CD. He quickly picked it up again, taking in every detail of the drawing. He picked out the white, grey, brown and black all blended on the front cover, his father had taught him about blending colours, but never did he use this arrangement, he always used bright colours, like red, yellow and orange, or green, blue and purple, but never these dark colours. He was use to seeing drawings of suns, Batman’s, dogs, children, families and super heroes by his Father, but definitely not skeletons.

He opened the case looking at the CD, seeing an alien like thing on the cover in a hospital gown. He shrunk back a bit from the picture at first, but was use to it after a second glance. He slowly unlocked it from its hold, placing it in the CD player and pressed play. He opened the pamphlet, unfolding it. He was shocked, even though he was quite young he knew what his father looked like, and there he was standing with 4 other men, all he knew except for two. He could pick out his father straight away, even though his hair wasn’t the dark chocolate brown it is now, he knew it was him. Then there was Mikey, his only Uncle, well blood Uncle. He noticed Uncle Ray, who he had met quite a lot, but the other two, were un-recognisable to the young boy. The music started up, only soft though because the volume dial wasn’t turned up very far. As soon as it started he was instantly intrigued by the faint beeping, getting louder, and then the guitar. He dropped to his knees when he heard his father’s voice come drifting out of the speakers. His eyes bulged as he silently listened to his father sing. Never, had he ever heard his father sing, well only in the car to Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen which Nick also sang along too. But even then, he was only mucking around with his son, never had he sung one of his songs in front of Nicholas. Nick listened through the whole CD, quite liking track number 6, which he replayed quite a few times, learning a few words. He turned the player off, removing the CD and putting it back in its case. He ran back to his room, sliding on the floor picking up his Batman and Superman action figures and mimicking fight scenes between Batman and Superman. Gerard would watch Nick play for hours, most of the time joining in, Nick always loved the laugh his father did when Superman was destroyed by Batman, and when Batman defeated his toy shark with shark repellent spray from his trusty Bat-belt. Nick was playing with his toys like all of the other times he did, but this time, he was singing.

“I don’t love you, like I did yesterday, I don’t love you, like I did yesterday, I don’t love you, like I did yesterday,” He kept singing the only line he could remember, it being thickly embedded in his head. Gerard slowly walked down the hallway, lifting up his sleeve checking the time, 7:25pm. He continued walking up the hallway until he reached Nicholas’ room.

”I don’t love you, like I did yesterday, I don’t love you, like I did yesterday, I don’t love you, like I did yesterday,” Nick sung to himself while he flexed Batman’s arms into another pose. Gerard Way stood there, leaning against the door way, awing at his son. His insides wanted to melt, his legs wanted to collapse, his muscles wanted to contract, his eye lids wanted to flutter, his mouth wanted to move, to speak, to sing He wanted to sing. He wanted to sing along with his only son. He wanted it so badly. He wanted to sing with Nicholas Ballato-Way. He wanted to sing the song that meant most to him, the song he only understood after he wrote it, the song that shaped his last album, the song that cleared his vision, the song that was the reason he met Lindsey, the song that changed his life forever, the song that his son was singing now. He wanted to sing that song, with his son, Nicholas Ballato-Way. That’s all he wanted.

“I don’t love you, like I did, Yesterday,” Nick turned around at the new voice added. He stared at his father, taking in every thing. And once he did, he sang along.

I Don’t Love You, Like I Did, Yesterday