The Crimson

I feel it welling up inside and Robert Smith lied
Boys do cry and with blood tears in my eyes
I'm an Anne Rice novel come to life

I can feel it. I can feel it overcome me again. I can feel all the adrenalin, all the rage, the accomplishment, and I can hear all the voices in my head yelling at me. It comes at me like a lightning blot. One second it strikes then it’s gone and I’m alone to clean up the after math.

I can feel some stray tears fall freely down my cheeks. Mixing with some of the blood, which covered my face. I see what I have done and let it all overwhelm me once more….

I can't hide the monster anymore
One can only feel desolate for so long
Until one starts to change
Into something the mirror doesn't recognize
I metamorphasize

I can’t feel anything now. Everything is gone and I’m left along in this big black hole. I stay still for what feels like years until I feel myself change. Change into something that should not exist in this hell we call earth.

Then everything changes and nothing is the same anymore. Everything is different and I don’t recognize anything. Everything is cold and dark. It’s strange and personally I don’t like it. I hate this feeling and I hate what I’m becoming. If only you would have stopped and cared to understand what was happening to me…

The darkness has been biding its time
To claim its latest victim
Fresh meat for carnal desires
To become what I became I became
I viewed the sun for the late time

Oh my god what is happening? It’s so dark; time seams to stand still. Nothing is the same and look in your eyes is still fresh in my mind. If what happened is real or just a dream I might never know.

All I want its just to go outside and to feel the sun beat down on my black as night hair and too white to be healthy skin. All I want to do is take a hot shower to wash away my, oh so familiar sins…

Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same when you taste my victim's blood?
So crimson and red, I feel it flowing from your lips

All I want is for you to hold me Frankie. I just want to feel your warmth, and your kind soul beat down on my hallow chest where a heart use to be. All I want is for you to kiss me and love me like nothing ever happened. As if my past didn’t matter.

But no matter how hard I try to convince you that what I do is out of love for you, and no matter how hard you try to convince yourself that I’m not going crazy, that’s never going to happen again.

All you saw when you looked at me was red; red, crimson blood. That’s what I was made from. That’s all you saw…

My heart is dead and so are you
And it pulses through, the desire to change
The desire to deconstruct all of my past failings
But where to begin because when you live in sin

But that’s all different now. Your desire for me to change is gone; knowing that I could never change. All my past lives are so full of sin. All that remains left is a torn heart left to bleed out all over the floor. Everything’s different now and you can’t change that. Not anymore.

You asked me if what I was doing felt right; if my mind and heart were saying the same thing. All I had in response was a cold glare. You started screaming. You wanted to know why? You wanted to know why I did the things I did.

Well Frankie dearest. Your answer is that life is a sin. You live in sin, you Sleep in sin, you breath sin. And with that, why not just sin?

It's hard to look at saints without them
Reflecting their jet black auras back on you
And all I have is hope, my inner Burns not fading
I'll wipe the blood from my cheek and get on with my day

You just looked at me like I was crazy. Well baby I might just be crazy. You drove me to do the extreme. But apparently that wasn’t good enough!

What I saw was beautiful. What I did was art. What you saw….well only you new that. But I had a feeling that what you saw was insanity. Well let me tell you Frankie my love! Insanity is beautiful! But my hopes in you to understand that faded when you picked up the phone…

Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same when you taste my victim's blood?
So crimson and red, I feel it flowing from your lips

Why? Why did you have to go and do that? Why? Was nothing I did good enough? Was all the long cold nights filled with fun memories of us watching movies together not fun enough? Were all the times I comforted you when you just couldn’t take it anymore, not comforting enough? Were all the times we made love not loving enough for you?

Why the hell did you fucking do that! I love you Frankie I love you!

And all I have is hope, and all I need is time
To bury in pine under six feet of time
The lies I told me about myself
Claw my way out, pick the splinters from under my fingernails
I won't lose hope, I won't give in

You lost your hope in me but I didn’t lose hope in you. I will never lose hope in you. If you just gave it time you could have accepted it. But you had to go and mess it up like that; not thinking about all the hard work I put into this relationship. If only you had hope, and if only you gave it time…

Just live and breathe and try not to die again
Just live and breathe and try not to die again
Just live and breathe and try not to die again

It’s all over now and you cant change the past. All I have to do now is just live and breathe and try to move on with my life. I’ll try to live and forget but only time will tell. But for now I’ll just live and breathe and try not to die again…

Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same when you taste my victim's blood?
So crimson and red, I feel it flowing from your lips
(My heart is dead) And so are you

I know your life was too short and I know that everything is gone. But I’ll still hold you even though you’re everything but worm. I’ll kiss you even though you wont kiss back, and I’ll love you even though all the crimson liquid from you chest is seeping all over me. Frankie baby my heart is dead without you. But then again...
So are you….