Hot Dogs and Scabies

"You. Didn't. Test. The motherfuckin' cords? We could die!" Frank exclaimed, throwing his arms out in a scarily accurate portrayal of a morally ambiguous angel. He wiggled his shoulders around, motioning for Gerard to take the harness off. If there was a chance he could die doing this, he didn't want any part of it. No amount of friendship was worth that.

"But..." Gerard's eyes grew to the size of tennis balls and his bottom lip quivered. "But we've already got so much done..."

He sounded pathetic and whiny, but Frank knew it was a facade. He knew that Gerard knew that Frank was just going to turn around, call him an obscene amount of names, and then go through with the stupid fucking idea.

"I hate you. Hate you with a passion, Gerard. Why couldn't you be the angel and I be the one with the microphone?"

"Because I'm fat and the rope will break if I try and use it," he pouted, turning to Spencer for solace, seeing that Frank wasn't going to be sympathetic about his plight. Spencer opened his arm wide enough for Gerard to slip into a hug and pout on his shoulder. "Spencer, you're not going to yell at me, are you?" he asked, raising his eyebrows up at the boy in question.

That had to be the stupidest question Frank had ever heard Gerard ask, no shit. He often wondered if Gerard seriously couldn't see that Spencer was stupid in love with him. If he was so caught up in saving the world that he really had no grasp on his own life and the people who just wanted his attention. People like Spencer who would go along with each and every plan without hesitation. He felt so fucking sorry for Spencer.

"Course not, Gee," Spencer said, hugging Gerard. Frank watched him touch his cheek to Gerard's and Gerard not respond to the touch at all.

Fucking sad.

"Well, are we going to get the show on the road, then?" Frank asked, gritting his teeth. He bunched his fists up at his sides and resisted the urge to yell at Gerard some more. The boy needed it. Frank really should take him by the shoulders and shake some sense into him, because not only was he being insensitive, this plan was retarded. Religion wasn't going to save lives.

*

"Oh, come on, hurry!" Mikey yelled to Jon, banging on the bathroom door. This was ridiculous, Jon was always the punctual one. Mikey had fucking woken up early and called in sick to the record company he was interning for just so he wouldn't miss his brother's--whatever it was. And if Jon made him miss it, there was going to be the guts of cameras decorating their dorm room.

"Just a minute, Mikeyway! I need to make myself look pretty so your brother falls in love with me and we can save the world together!"

Mikey banged his head on the wall. He needed to explain to Jon that one, he didn't want to be a part of Gerard's schemes, and two, that Gerard wasn't picky when employing minions. Really, he'd pick them up off the streets if he could. But most people weren't susceptible to his pouty-face. Only those two poor, unfortunate guys who seemed to have been mixed up in Gerard's plans. And probably, Mikey thought dismally, Jon.

Jon opened the door and stood in the doorway, holding out his arms and puffing up his chest. "How do I look?"

"I don't give a shit, come on."

"...bitchface. Bitchface, Mikeyway, it isn't a good look for you," he sung, catapulting himself out of the door way and directly into Mikey. Which could technically be called Mikey's way, but he wasn't going to let his mind make puns about his own name. It was stupid. Mikey had a stern moment of telling himself that stupidity wasn't hereditary. He wasn't going to turn into a. Um. Stupid-ass superhero like his brother.

"No, but your mom's--"

"We agreed on no more Mom jokes, Way!"

Mikey snorted and pried Jon off of himself. "I don't go by that anymore, because you wouldn't dare insult Gerard's mom. Loophole! I totally win at life."

"Your brother wins at life," Jon said dreamily, swooning. Fucking swooning, tilting his head to the side and looking up at their cottage cheese ceiling.

Mikey hit Jon on the shoulder, wondering why he didn't pick his friends more carefully.

*

So, things didn't go quite as planned.

Frank got settled into the harness, feeling five years worth of food wanting to come back up. But then the inhabitants of Greenwich Village would have to be privvy to a vomit shower, and Frank thought that was a little unsanitary, actually. Or maybe it'd help with Gerard's plan. Maybe they'd think God was puking on them.

His toes reached the edge of the big tower they were standing on the roof of, his soles balanced on the ledge precariously, and he knew that if he weren't attached to wires, he'd fall and die. This was how far he was willing to take things for Gerard. Gerard, who was safely on the ground in a fucking cassock and collar with a microphone.

Getting out of hand, seriously. He was just waiting up here to hear the signal from Gerard. He glared over at Spencer, knowing that if Spencer could have held out this one fucking time, they wouldn't be in this situation and he wouldn't be a spectacle. "Spencer, I hate you," he called over the roar of the wind.

"Why?"

"Because of your stupid fucking boyfriend, we're stuck up here, and I think we're going to die."

Spencer blushed, and Frank wanted to push him. "He's not stupid, Frank." He looked to the ground. "And he's not my boyfriend."

Frank wasn't wiling to turn this into a talk about their feelings, so he shut the conversation off and listened to the words from Gerard he was waiting for.

*

"Jesus, Jon, we're going to miss it!" Mikey groaned as he pulled his friend behind him roughly, nearly jerking his arm out of its socket. But it was his own fault for being so freaking slow and making Mikey miss whatever his brother thought was important enough to call him for. "And then I will have to tell Gerard that you're the reason I didn't get to see whatever he's doing, and he won't be happy with you!" Because, of course, Gerard loved to be in the limelight.

Mikey didn't get very far down the sidewalk before he heard his brother's voice. And then, shortly after, a body crashing into his own, and then, finally, intense pain.

*

He woke up to bright lights and four worried faces gathered around him. Gerard's stood out the most, with his shock of black hair covering Mikey's eyes as soon as he opened them.

"Mikey! Mikey, you're okay! Ohmigosh, don't ever scare me like that again, I thought you were dead." Gerard kissed his cheek and buried his face into his neck. He smelled like dry cleaning.

"Um."

Where the fuck was he and why were so many people here? He looked around, and noticed Jon--of course, Jon was with him--and the two other kids, Spencer and the other one Mikey didn't know. The other one was biting his lip and looking down guiltily.

"What happened?" Mikey asked, trying to sit up despite Gerard's sudden tendency to glomp all over him.

"I kind of crashed into you," the other one said sheepishly, raising his head for the first time.

Mikey drew in his breath slowly. "Oh. Oh, that's okay," he breathed, staring dreamily at whoever the kid was and his pretty fucking face.

"I'm Frank, by the way," he said, biting down on a smile. "Sorry about--sending you to a hospital."

"Mhm. 's okay." He kind of realized he was staring dreamily at Frank until Gerard fixed him with a little smile and leaned down to whisper that Frank was single.

*

"So, Spencer," Gerard said, swinging their hands back and forth between them, feeling accomplished for once. Sure, he didn't bring religion to Greenwich village, but Frank bought Mikey a promise ring last week, and suddenly the whole world didn't seem as urgent. "Did you know that they're having a big protest outside city hall today?" he asked, smiling over at Spencer with an innocent grin.

"Really? Over what?"

"Gay marriage. A lot of gay couples are congregating outside and they are being married in unison by an ordained minister." He nodded at his own statement and gripped Spencer's hand tighter. "You want to go?"

"And do what?"

"Get married."

"To who?"

Gerard rolled his eyes at Spencer's sweet naivety. "To me, dummy. We should totally get married and show our support for gay marriage."

"...yeah, okay."

It was surprisingly easy for Spencer to go along with that plan.