The Kill
Three.
Instantly my body slumped back into the seat, head pressing back against the headrest, slamming against it, again, again, again. I try and look back; try to see where I went wrong, where my love strayed away from her, when my love become not enough for her. I couldn't find these things. Not one. I dropped my head down, elbows pressing into my knees, palms of my hands rubbing hard at my eyes as I search my way through these memories that I still have.
Nothing. A frantic search through each small filing cabinet that make up the confines of my brain, and nothing of the sort comes up. It was her, not me. Her! This is what I try to tell myself. Over and over I repeat those words to myself, silently at first, then my mouth finally caught on, the words slipping easily past my lips, filling the small space of my car. They seemed to echo back at me; the words passing my lips, running themselves into the window, then bouncing back to my ears repeatedly.
I can hear a faint knocking at the window of my car. Tap, tap, tap. That pattern continues for minutes on end, though I can hardly hear it enough to truly pay attention to it. The words echoing so very clearly in my ears blocks out nearly everything else. The only thing that pulls me out is her voice; ringing out so perfectly passed everything; quite near what I would imagine an angel's voice to be like.
My head pops up instantly, eyes red from rubbing at them so much, though I swore to myself I wouldn't shed a single tear over her. Not one. And I intend on keeping that promise too. I tilt my head slightly in her direction, looking at the sadness that could be seen in her eyes. It seemed genuine, but then again, why should she be sad? She's not the one hurting, right?
"Out." Is all I manage to choke out, though I hear her protest. I reach over, shoving her back slightly before slamming the door shut. My hand searches for the lock button, one finger finally extending out and hitting it. The only sound was the small 'click' of the lock, then my keys jingling softly as I slid the key in and started the car, driving off quickly; not even daring to look back to the woman I thought shared in this love with me.
Nothing. A frantic search through each small filing cabinet that make up the confines of my brain, and nothing of the sort comes up. It was her, not me. Her! This is what I try to tell myself. Over and over I repeat those words to myself, silently at first, then my mouth finally caught on, the words slipping easily past my lips, filling the small space of my car. They seemed to echo back at me; the words passing my lips, running themselves into the window, then bouncing back to my ears repeatedly.
I can hear a faint knocking at the window of my car. Tap, tap, tap. That pattern continues for minutes on end, though I can hardly hear it enough to truly pay attention to it. The words echoing so very clearly in my ears blocks out nearly everything else. The only thing that pulls me out is her voice; ringing out so perfectly passed everything; quite near what I would imagine an angel's voice to be like.
My head pops up instantly, eyes red from rubbing at them so much, though I swore to myself I wouldn't shed a single tear over her. Not one. And I intend on keeping that promise too. I tilt my head slightly in her direction, looking at the sadness that could be seen in her eyes. It seemed genuine, but then again, why should she be sad? She's not the one hurting, right?
"Out." Is all I manage to choke out, though I hear her protest. I reach over, shoving her back slightly before slamming the door shut. My hand searches for the lock button, one finger finally extending out and hitting it. The only sound was the small 'click' of the lock, then my keys jingling softly as I slid the key in and started the car, driving off quickly; not even daring to look back to the woman I thought shared in this love with me.
♠ ♠ ♠
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