False Secret
Fight
“Emily, Mommy wants you now!” my sister yelled up the stairs. I could hear the smile that was in her voice. That was one of the most annoying things that I hated about her. She loved to watch me get in trouble for any reason at all.
I walked down the stairs with the outfit that I wore that day to put it in the laundry basket. My hair still wet because I didn’t get the chance to dry it right.
“Ya?” I asked although I already knew that my mom was going to ask me why I didn’t call her and why the phone line was busy.
“Why didn’t you call me at work today?” she asked. With this the investigation started.
“Sorry, I had a lot of homework, plus I have to study, more, if you want me to pass the finals tomorrow.” I lied.
“Oh, okay then, well tell me this.” she asked sarcastically.
“Ya?”
“When I tried to call four times, why was the phone line busy?” she went on.
“Oh, the phone was busy cuz I was going to call you, but then the phone rang, it was Hope, I told her that I couldn’t talk and that was it. So I guess I left the phone on. Sorry.” That was true but also a lie; I wanted to stick to the truth as much as I could.
My sister was still on the sidelines.
“Oh, if I find out that you are lying to me, then you will be grounded for an extra week, or for that matter, maybe even another month, because you know that you lying are one of the worst things that you can do. You remember the last time, last summer?” I glared at her. I was also confused. How would she find out that I was lying? I wished that I could just shut her up. I hated it when she gave me flashbacks. Her eyes met my almost black eyes and they were wide as they glared back at me. It was almost like a mirror effect.
“So, can you tell me something?” I asked. My voice was flat. No emotion flushed the words that were coming out of my mouth. I was still glaring at her.
“What?”
“If I am lying to you, what do you think grounding me would do?”
She didn’t know what to say. She opened her mouth but no words came out. She knew that I knew that she had no power over me when no one was around. She couldn’t do anything about it.
“I’ll tell you what it would do. It only wastes my life. Well I wasted enough of my life being grounded. It‘s like smoking. You are killing me. I am going to have a shorter life. Is that what you want?” I was getting really frustrated with this. Clearly I saw, in her face that she was furious.
“Wow, um, Emily that was really sort of harsh. No?” my sister was shocked with the words that had just came out of my mouth.
My mom was standing in front of me speechless. This was really awkward. After a minute or two, my mom was out of shock. She turned around without saying anything else to me, and went back to cooking dinner. I went up to my room and shut the door softly and lay on my bed. After the anger wore off of my mind, I have to admit that I did feel really bad about what I said. But it was true, why should I feel bad for something that was true? At times I never could understand myself. That’s pretty bad.
“Supper! Come and eat!” yelled my sister up the stairs.
I slowly went down the stairs. Calm and feeling horrible about what I said. But still, I was able to keep a calm face. As I sat down at the table, I was sure that I could feel the tension. The room was washed with it. No one talked at supper, and everyone’s heads were bowed as we ate. This only made it harder for me to strip myself of the guilt. It also made me long for midnight. It was time that I did something dangerously risky.
After the quiet supper, we went to our chores, again without a word. I don’t know if this wound will ever recover.
After the chores were done I went up to my room and dried my hair, and straightened it too. I was getting ready for tonight. After I was done with that, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, but my mom’s boyfriend, Billy, was taking a shower. So instead, to cure my guilt, I was going to see my mom and apologize for what I said to her.
On the last step of the stairs, when I could see my mom reading, I just wanted to turn around and head back to my room. She was sitting by herself. I stopped myself from wimping out by just thinking that if I don’t do this, then it will not get better.
“Mom?” I said just to get her attention. But she didn’t move.
“I’m sorry about what I said to you. I really am. But you know, ever since the incident over last summer, when ever you thought that I was doing something stupid, you just-I don’t know, but what ever you do it gets me so paranoid.” she still didn’t look up at me once. “Mom, put the book down and look at me!” I was at the point of throwing the book out of her hands. She still didn’t look at me. I noticed that she didn’t have a cigarette lit or anywhere around her. I felt my eyes light up. Emily, you’re getting your hopes up. You know that she isn’t quitting. I said to myself.
“Uh” I groaned.
I give up. If she doesn’t want to talk to me, I would let her. If she doesn’t want to look at me, most definitely I would let her. That doesn’t bother me the least bit.
It seemed like forever for night to come. All I did till everyone went to bed was read Twilight. I repeatedly check the time on my radio. That doesn’t help much though. It only makes the time go by slower. There were a few minutes till 12:00. I used this time to get dressed in the dark, so I wouldn’t wake Alyssa up.
I walked down the stairs with the outfit that I wore that day to put it in the laundry basket. My hair still wet because I didn’t get the chance to dry it right.
“Ya?” I asked although I already knew that my mom was going to ask me why I didn’t call her and why the phone line was busy.
“Why didn’t you call me at work today?” she asked. With this the investigation started.
“Sorry, I had a lot of homework, plus I have to study, more, if you want me to pass the finals tomorrow.” I lied.
“Oh, okay then, well tell me this.” she asked sarcastically.
“Ya?”
“When I tried to call four times, why was the phone line busy?” she went on.
“Oh, the phone was busy cuz I was going to call you, but then the phone rang, it was Hope, I told her that I couldn’t talk and that was it. So I guess I left the phone on. Sorry.” That was true but also a lie; I wanted to stick to the truth as much as I could.
My sister was still on the sidelines.
“Oh, if I find out that you are lying to me, then you will be grounded for an extra week, or for that matter, maybe even another month, because you know that you lying are one of the worst things that you can do. You remember the last time, last summer?” I glared at her. I was also confused. How would she find out that I was lying? I wished that I could just shut her up. I hated it when she gave me flashbacks. Her eyes met my almost black eyes and they were wide as they glared back at me. It was almost like a mirror effect.
“So, can you tell me something?” I asked. My voice was flat. No emotion flushed the words that were coming out of my mouth. I was still glaring at her.
“What?”
“If I am lying to you, what do you think grounding me would do?”
She didn’t know what to say. She opened her mouth but no words came out. She knew that I knew that she had no power over me when no one was around. She couldn’t do anything about it.
“I’ll tell you what it would do. It only wastes my life. Well I wasted enough of my life being grounded. It‘s like smoking. You are killing me. I am going to have a shorter life. Is that what you want?” I was getting really frustrated with this. Clearly I saw, in her face that she was furious.
“Wow, um, Emily that was really sort of harsh. No?” my sister was shocked with the words that had just came out of my mouth.
My mom was standing in front of me speechless. This was really awkward. After a minute or two, my mom was out of shock. She turned around without saying anything else to me, and went back to cooking dinner. I went up to my room and shut the door softly and lay on my bed. After the anger wore off of my mind, I have to admit that I did feel really bad about what I said. But it was true, why should I feel bad for something that was true? At times I never could understand myself. That’s pretty bad.
“Supper! Come and eat!” yelled my sister up the stairs.
I slowly went down the stairs. Calm and feeling horrible about what I said. But still, I was able to keep a calm face. As I sat down at the table, I was sure that I could feel the tension. The room was washed with it. No one talked at supper, and everyone’s heads were bowed as we ate. This only made it harder for me to strip myself of the guilt. It also made me long for midnight. It was time that I did something dangerously risky.
After the quiet supper, we went to our chores, again without a word. I don’t know if this wound will ever recover.
After the chores were done I went up to my room and dried my hair, and straightened it too. I was getting ready for tonight. After I was done with that, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, but my mom’s boyfriend, Billy, was taking a shower. So instead, to cure my guilt, I was going to see my mom and apologize for what I said to her.
On the last step of the stairs, when I could see my mom reading, I just wanted to turn around and head back to my room. She was sitting by herself. I stopped myself from wimping out by just thinking that if I don’t do this, then it will not get better.
“Mom?” I said just to get her attention. But she didn’t move.
“I’m sorry about what I said to you. I really am. But you know, ever since the incident over last summer, when ever you thought that I was doing something stupid, you just-I don’t know, but what ever you do it gets me so paranoid.” she still didn’t look up at me once. “Mom, put the book down and look at me!” I was at the point of throwing the book out of her hands. She still didn’t look at me. I noticed that she didn’t have a cigarette lit or anywhere around her. I felt my eyes light up. Emily, you’re getting your hopes up. You know that she isn’t quitting. I said to myself.
“Uh” I groaned.
I give up. If she doesn’t want to talk to me, I would let her. If she doesn’t want to look at me, most definitely I would let her. That doesn’t bother me the least bit.
It seemed like forever for night to come. All I did till everyone went to bed was read Twilight. I repeatedly check the time on my radio. That doesn’t help much though. It only makes the time go by slower. There were a few minutes till 12:00. I used this time to get dressed in the dark, so I wouldn’t wake Alyssa up.