Beautiful Tragedy

I pushed the final box into the tiny store room and wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand, a small smile present on my face. I didn't think I'd worked this hard in a long time.

I stretched my back out, and decided to go see if I was needed with soundcheck or even on the tourbus, as I turned round, I took a sharp intake of breath. There was someone watching me, the silouhette of the person moved forward as I saw them and kicked the door shut with his leg, reaching behind him and locking the door without looking.

My heart started to race as his face came into view, my stomach turning butterflies as I got lost in his eyes. His black hair fell almost gracefully around his shoulders, his mouth in a tight, angry line. His hazel eyes reflecting his mood.

"Gerard," I breathed, no louder than a whisper. I cleared my throat in fear of sounding feminine, and started again. "Aren't you supposed to be doing soundcheck?"

He ignored me, taking two more strides before stopping in front of me, almost towering over me until I was too intimidated to say anything else. Before I could help it, I started to admire his features from his angle, the way his cheek bones perfectly shaped his face, his eyelashes fluttering down onto his face as he blinked. Even the sound of his angry breathing sounded too beautiful to describe.

"Are you doing it on purpose?"

It was the first thing he'd said to me today, and I had to concentrate on listening to what he was saying rather than watching the way his mouth formed his words, waiting for the sound to hit me like my favourite Misfits song.

"Doing what?" I frowned in confusion, and collapsed into a sitting position on one of the boxes before my legs would go so weak from the depth of his eyes I'd have no choice in the matter. I frowned again, trying to think of what I could have done that annoyed him, and my mind went completely blank.

"Is Jim your boyfriend?" His voice turned softer, hurt almost. Confused, I looked up at him and involuntarily burst out laughing.

"No!" I stood up again, sub-conciously letting Gerard see the honesty in my eye. "We pranked my friend and the nick names sort of...stuck."

"Oh. I see. I just wondered..." His voice had gone back to normal, and he nodded at me, re-thinking what he'd said and quickly re-phrased. "Or rather, Frank wondered..."

"Frank?" I smirked, allowing myself to enjoy the little time I had when Gerard was conducting an actual conversation with me. "Why does Frank want to know?"

"Well," He laughed quietly, and I wished I could grab hold of the noise and lock it in a box. Somewhere I could keep it forever. "He might be the tour gossip."

Gerard paused, raising his eyebrows at me in a skeptical way, and I waited for him to finish, chuckling at his diva pose.

"Or he may have taken a fancy to you. Which is definately the most probable. And, I guess, who can blame him?"

The breath caught in my throat, and I looked up at him in wonder. To me he was a complete Darcey character. It always seems that Mr. Darcey had two characters in Pride and Prejudice, two personalities. The proud, vain, too-cool-for-school person, and the cheesy, romantic, lovable Darcey we all wish for today. Gerard, in my mind, was exactly like him. When you got him alone he was so lovely, funny, kind. But heaven forbid I talk to him in public."So, you find me agreeable Mr Darcey?"

"So, you think I'm good looking, Mr Way?"

"Do you have a problem with that, McCracken?"

I stared at him for a moment, melting into the depths of his eyes as he watched my reaction, probably summing up the next way to knock me down when we spoke in public. But even that cocky, arrogant side of him I found amazing. So many times as I lay in my bunk at night time or even when I'm bored when we're travelling have I tried to mentally knock down the barrier it seems he has built against only me. As many reasons as I had come up with, none of them seemed right, and every thought would direct me back to my dream. The thought made me shudder outwardly, and Gerards eyes flashed shock quickly before recovering that emotionless gaze.

"I didn't think you were like that." He mumbled, and turned around. He stepped over one of the boxes and reached for the lock, snapping into action I jumped over the same box and grabbed onto his arm, stopping him from moving. When he turned to look at me, I pressed my lips against his, not stopping to reason with myself. The electricity sparked between us, and every second that passed seemed magical. I was vacantly aware of his hand leaving the door handle and winding themselves around my body, my own hand resting softly on the base of his neck as I kissed him.

At that moment, I couldn't think of anything I wanted more than what I had right now. My mind wandered to the phrase 'Money can't buy happiness', and before I got distracted by Gerard's lips I decided that there was more truth to that than I could ever have anticipated.

I sighed in content as he pulled away from the kiss, and for a moment I dreaded him running away again.

"Please," His voice was desperate, pleading as he spoke, his arms not leaving my waist. "Don't do this to me, Bert. It's not fair."

"Not fair on who?" I asked, my voice softer than I expected it to come out, and I was half waiting for him to crack some pre-puberty joke.

"On me. On you. On both of us. You don't understand Bert." He drew his arms back, and tucked one of them into his pocket, the other one placed tentatively on the lock. "You can never understand."

"Let me understand, Gerard. Explain to me!" I begged, desperate for him to stay. Wanting nothing more than his arms around me again.

"I can't! Don't...If you value me as a person, Bert. You won't do this to me."

I nodded silently, and as he left the room without another word, a tear fell down my cheek.

So close, and yet so far.