It's Hard to Say 'I Miss You.'

My phone rang, making me jump.
“Hello?” I questioned, whipping the tears from my face, as if it would cover the fact that I was crying. Like the person on the other line wouldn’t know.

“Hey hunny.”
“Nick. Hi. I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner. We got back late.” Which was very true, but it felt like such a lie at the same time.
“It’s fine. But you know I miss you. So much.”
“I miss you too…” Silent tears rolled down my cheeks. It’s not like I didn’t miss Nick. It’s just knowing what I just did to him, and he had no idea.

“Okay. I will check back in later. Work is calling, but I love you.”
“I love you too.” I slowly hung up, as I pulled into Jades driveway.
“Why now?” I questioned myself aloud, letting the tears run feverishly down my cheeks. I don’t remember ever hating myself more than at this very moment.

That’s when it finally hit me. I knew the exact reason why I wanted to be here. Bert. He was the only reason why I came back. He was the only reason why I dragged myself back to the most boring town on this earth. I wasn’t sure he would be here, but the little hope I had led me back here. I knew that wanted to see him. Badly. And I was finally admitting it to myself…