High School Wasn't What I Thought It'd Be...

“Look at her, she’s a slut!” Some guy whispered loudly in the hallway to his basketball buddy, pointing at me and snickering.

“Did you hear about what she did with Bobby?” A cheerleader asked another cheerleader, pointing at me and snickering.

“I’m worried about her.” One of my teachers said to another teacher, pointing at me with a frown.

This happened daily.

Everyone pointed, everyone snickered.

Everyone made rumors, everyone spread them.

High school wasn’t what I thought it’d be.

I asked myself every night why people are so cruel, but I could never find the right answer.

They must have no heart… was what I kept telling myself every night as I lay in bed.

My parents would ask how I was every day, and always I’d smile and tell them that I was doing great, and that I loved school.

My poor parents never realized how much bullshit that was.

My poor parents never saw the scars on my arm, or the fact that my clothes were getting baggier, because of my constant throwing up.

My poor parents never expected me to do what I did.

All I wanted to do was teach everyone a lesson.

I just wanted them to know how much I was hurting.

I just wanted them to know that I had feelings too.

Those cheerleaders found me.

Those cheerleaders laughed when they saw my body hanging in the bathroom.

Those cheerleaders didn’t realize that it was their fault that I did this.

I hope those cheerleaders burn in hell.

My parents were called, and rushed to the school.

My parents got the news that their little girl, their only child, had died that morning.

My parents had no idea what went on in that school, or what I did in the bathroom and my bedroom.

My parents didn’t know that I was lying to them every single day since the first day of my high school life.

And now, four years after they watched their little girl enter that high school, they sit at my funeral and mourn over my death.

If only I had told them something was going on, I wouldn’t have had to hurt them like this.

If only they could’ve seen through my lies and helped me…

If only I would have let them in, instead of push them out…

Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t be lying in this casket right now.