Starry Nights and Cynical Plights

We sat alone on the brick patio outside the local pizzeria, staring in awe at the bright pinpoints of light above us.

Stars, they are called. To me, they looked like only irregular pricks and holes placed in a colander, but beautiful all the same. I blinked as a swift breeze blew softly at the branches of trees and the buildings around us.

Us.

Such a strange way to say it, in all honesty. Frank and I were good friends, best friends, probably as close as you can be to someone emotionally without having sucked their face off or fucked them. Everyone would always tease us, or me specifically, saying that I was Frank's second girlfriend. Oh ha ha, very funny. No. He had Jamia. I was alone. Though I fare well alone I suppose.

In real life, I was nothing more than an inexperienced teenager.
God, I hate that word. The stereotype of a generation. Sure some of us wasted our lives playing insanely violent video games, hour after hour, day after day, going to parties and playing the 'See who can pass out and piss themselves first' game. But if you go by that stereotype, you know absolutely nothing about me. But when you think about it, it IS kind of pathetic to, on your eighteenth birthday no less, a fucking legal adult, never been kissed before and never had a boyfriend. I just had a lot of really close friends of the opposite sex. It was like cruel and unusual punishment to see them every day, so happy with their girlfriends, flirting, snuggling noses and kissing. I always pretended I couldn't see, that I'd gone momentarily blind or decided that infuriatingly loud humming florescent light was more interesting then what was happening at eye level. I know I'm just jealous, but isn't so much more fun to be a bitter little bitch? Why yes, yes it was.
I decided to dismiss that horrible little voice in the back of my head and focus on the present.

I sighed and enjoyed the silence that surrounded us. It was better not to talk. I hadn't the urge to make a complete ass out of myself at the moment. I really hadn't wanted or expected much for my birthday. Of course, I'd had a "surprise" party thrown for me earlier, gotten a decent amount of gifts I would later tuck away in a drawer to gather dust, and watched most of the party-goers get drunk off the free bar. But now everyone had vacated the premises. The pizzeria had closed down about an hour ago, but Frank and I were still out here, unbeknownst to the owner who had left the shop a half hour ago. This meant Frank and I were completely alone. The only people around for a kilometre at least. I leaned against Frank innocently, resting my head on his shoulder and taking in the sweet yet musky smell of his expensive cologne. He had his arm wrapped around me, as though in doing so I would be anchored there for the rest of existence. Not that I had half a mind to care. I yawned and watched a shooting star streak across the sky. It was only by pure superstition that I still made a wish on a piece of rocky matter flying through the stratosphere. I closed my eyes and made the simple wish, speaking the words only in my head as to not be overheard. I opened my eyes again and resumed my staring upward and I let my mind drift off.

Frank's voice startled me. "Is there any way I can make you tell me what you wished for, Ms. Adriana?"

I rolled my eyes at the formality of my real name. "No way in hell, hotshot. Which means I get to keep you in the dark about it. Ha ha."
He smirked and wrapped his arm around me tighter, rubbing my shoulder with his thumb.

"You fun-spoiler, you." I snickered at that mediocre at best insult before we once again fell silent, though the quiet between us seemed slightly more strained. I made to get up, but because of Frank's arm, I couldn't move my upper body very far. Maybe he was trying to anchor me.

I saw another cosmic rock get burned up in the atmosphere and made the same wish again, as though I was affirming that retarded query by repeating myself. I glanced behind me, at the dark windows of the shop, wondering whether or not the time had slipped past 2:30 yet. Probably. I decided not to think about it. Too much effort on a night that calls for little. I didn't really want to move away from Frank anyway. Fatigue, though mostly of the mental sort antagonized me, yet I was almost comfortable for once. The silence was again shattered by Frank's voice.

"What are you thinking about? You haven't said four words to me all night." I sighed. Was it really worth it to make this last night alone awkward?

"A lot of things... but mostly you... and how much I'm gonna miss you while the band's on tour." It was true. I would have a grand old time staring at the wall in my living room for a month and a half. My voice trailed off and I said nothing else. Frank turned his face to me and said barely above a whisper,

"Aww.." Well at least he thought it sweet. He seemed flattered even. I put my head on his shoulder again and sort of smiled. Just a small smirk from a sentimental fool. I watched Frank rub his neck unconsciously. My mind suddenly flashed back to that night over a month ago and I was glad it was dark outside, for my cheeks had flushed a deep pink.

***
Mikey, Alicia, Gerard, some girl I barely knew but knew enough about to know she was with Gerard, Bob, his girlfriend, Ray, Christa, and Frank (Jamia had work the next morning, so she'd gone home early) were all sitting in a circle with me on the area rug placed on the middle of my living room floor. We were playing Truth or Dare.
An innocent little game, right?
Not always.

It was my turn. "So, Adie, truth or dare?" Gee asked me, attempting to stare me down. I snorted, afraid of nothing. What would I really have to worry about? Maybe answer a stupid question, do a meaningless dare...

"Dare." Gee smiled slyly as though he knew something he shouldn't.

"Hmm, I dare you to..." he paused for dramatic effect. Loser. "lick Frank's scorpion tattoo."

Uhm....Fuck. I swear that man had fucking radar for crushes and personal chemistry.. There was no way I would be able to just back down from this either. I can't just refuse this without a dignified reason. I rose hesitantly and attempted to keep my face and demeanor casual as I met Frank in the center of that little circle of people. The "crush" I'd had on Frankie resembled embers smoldering at the bottom of a fireplace. It was like a never-ending soft heat, always in the back of my mind, that at that moment seemed to turn into a white hot furnace. At least I can take comfort in the fact that Gerard hadn't dared me to make out with Frank. That could almost be considered cruel in a way...

"Adieeeee," Gee, said in a sing-song voice, the tone seeming to mock me. He always knew JUST how to get on my nerves. I closed my eyes momentarily as if to block out all background noise, most of which still coming from Gerard's voice egging me on. "Come on now." I ignored him best I could, half wanting to kick Gee where he sat cross-legged, and locked my eyes onto Frank. I took a step closer and he smirked, tilting his head to one side to give me a better view of that little scorpion and stuffing his hands in his pockets. I moved even closer to him so our torsos were in full contact and put my head to one side, gently kissing his soft skin before parting my lips and licking the area. I felt him sort of gasp as I pulled away to the hoots and hollers of the group.

I sat down feeling triumphant but somewhat shaky in my small smile. Mikey leaned over and whispered in my ear, "You must be good at that because Frankie obviously enjoyed it." I felt heat rise on my face.
***
That had been one of the most awkward moments Frank and I had ever shared. Yet neither of us had mentioned the incident since its occurrence. We were both too embarrassed, well at least I was... Maybe I'm just making a lot of something out of nothing at all.

I took my head off his shoulder again and decided instead to look at my surroundings. We were at a higher elevation and about 10 kilometres from the city. The softly twinkling lights from the skyline were interesting enough to keep me from wondering exactly what his thoughts were at that moment....

"Adie!" I jumped, realizing I must have been lost in my own world for some time.

"Yes?" I questioned, hiding all behind my nonchalant attitude. Still I refused to take my olive green eyes off a random scuff on the toe of my left combat boot.

"Would you look at me please?" I turned in response, almost reluctant to stare into his deep hazel eyes. Lately I found it too easy to get lost in them, whether it was my intention to do so or not. He again rubbed his neck. He must have been thinking back to that night also. I smirked subtly before steeling myself and peering into his eyes again. I looked away almost immediately though, suddenly struck by the thought to kiss him. I must be going insane again. "You okay?" he wondered, gently touching my cheek with his somewhat calloused fingertips. That is NOT HELPING AT ALL!! I knew he was just worried about me, that I was playing a complete fucking fool, but it still seemed almost too much to bear.

"Y-yeah," I cursed myself for stammering, "I'm alright." He cocked his head, obviously disbelieving my statement. Hell, I would've too if I were him. But it's not like I was going to tell him right then and there just how deep my feelings for him ran. Even if those feeling may have just been a petty crush.
Who came with that term anyway? A "crush." Like someone stomps on your head every time you consider thinking of said person. How about no. I could tell he was studying my face by how Frank's eyes had slightly narrowed. To the mannequin face for me then. I silently commended myself for passing his little mental test.

I watched my hand, apparently acting on impulse, as though bypassing my thought process entirely, move up and touch the base of his neck, my fingers lightly tracing the outline of his tattoo. I felt his warmth and the blood pulsing gently under my fingertips.

"What are you doing?" He didn't seem alarmed or creep-ed out, only curious to my actions.

I moved my hand away and let it rest awkwardly in my lap. "Being... me?" It was probably the lamest answer I could have thought or given, my excuse being that my mind was incapable of intelligent or cohesive speech then. He smiled slightly.

"Well this is a different you then normal then, isn't it?" I nodded, my jaw seemingly no longer able to function. It was like I was seizing up or something odd like that. "Are you sure you're okay?" The concern was now evident in his voice.

"I'm... fine," I said, a small (fake) reassuring smile curling my lips.

"Good." Once again we were plagued by that ringing silence broken only by soft wisps of wind and the far off sounds of traffic that never stopped. Just because I felt like it, I poked him in the forehead and looked away, playing the whole 'Who, me?' game. It was better I acted like my usual immature self then my shockingly somber being now. He smiled and poked me back. It just went on like that for a moment or two.
Poke.
Poke.
Poke.
Poke.
Halfway through our little poke fight I waved my invisible white flag, surrendering in a fit of giggles. He gave me a little kiss on the cheek, which brought heat to my face for the third time that night. I attempted to return the little kiss, but in my inattentive state of mind, I missed and ended up kissing him on the side of the mouth. O_O Oops...

"I think I missed..." NOW I wanted to run, hide, possibly turn back time. But, alas, Frank's arm still held me tight making all choices out of the question. I looked over at him, confused and insanely embarrassed. "Sorry 'bout that." He smirked at me.

"Don't be." My mind was in a perpetual state I can only categorize as 'HUH?!' Which only worsened as Frank moved his head closer to mine. Before I could react, I felt Frank's lips pressed against my own, in a cautious yet longing kiss. It seemed unbelievable to me that this was actually happening. What, was I on Punk'd or something? I opened my eyes and saw no camera crew, no washed up actor/host laughing in my face. I relished the feeling of the kiss, not minding the cold silver of his lip ring. My eyes almost popped out of my head when I felt the tip of his tongue graze against my bottom lip. In a split-second decision, I closed my eyes and parted my lips, letting him have his way with me. I felt myself practically melt into him as I grew more comfortable with the situation. Why not make the most of it when you know it'll only be a few moments before he realizes his mistake and pulls back? But that didn't happen. On the contrary, he pulled me closer to him and deepened the kiss. I felt his hands shift, one now rubbing the small of my back while the other gently placed on my cheek. There's no denying that it felt good to be lip-locked with Frank, our tongues intertwining. After a few minutes of that, he pulled away slowly and stared into my eyes.

"Was that worth the wait, Adie?" I smirked and leaned against the beautifully detailed wooden bench nodding.
"Good. I'm glad... so why don't we start again?"

And on those words I leave you. You've seen enough of my fairy-tail life, heard enough of my cynicism to last you a lifetime. Though I'm sure all of you "teenagers" want to hear more on how Frank and I fucked (and we did) , I cannot grant you that. I swore I'd never tell.

Thank you and goodnight, or good day to you, I don't know or care to be honest.