Give Me Envy, Give Me Malice, Give Me Your Attention

"Ok, ready?" Spencer asked, looking around, holding his drumsticks up in response. Brendon and Brent nodded. Brent was to Spencer's left, the typical spot for a bass player, Brendon to the right, and Ryan in front, looking a bit nervous as he adjusted the microphone stand.

Spencer looked at Ryan, "Stop trying to strangle to the microphone. It won't make you sing any better."

Ryan sighed, "Just start..."

"All right," Spencer tapped his sticks together four times, signaling for everyone to start as they launched into All the Small Things by Blink 182.

At the end of the song, cheering came from the direction of the couches on the other side of the basement. The guys noticed that Sam, Yume, Kayla and I had come down to watch them.

"That was so awesome! I especially love the lead guitarist..."

"Ah, but the lead guitarist believes he loves you more," Brendon answered Sam's comment, making a flirty face at her. Sam blushed and smiled, giggling every few seconds.

Spencer stood up. "Well, since my entourage has arrived, I say we go get something to drink. Is that okay, Ry?"

Ryan looked up from where he had been fiddling with his guitar. "Uh, sure. Whatever."

"I call shotgun!" Brent disappeared up the stairs, with Spencer and his entourage following, leaving me and Ryan alone. I sighed. It was time to prove to myself that I've gotten over Ryan.

"Uhh..." I tried to think of something to say. "Do you notice that the two of us are usually left alone?"

Ryan gazed up at me, than looked around. "Uhh... yeah. Weird, huh?"

I couldn't help grinning. Okay... Maybe there were still some feelings there...

Ryan dragged his guitar and amp over to one of the couches, commencing to play and hum to himself. I slowly approached him, wondering what song it was. It turned out to be Everlong by the Foo Fighters. I quietly sat next to him, humming along until he was done.

"That was great."

"It's not that good."

"Better than anything I can do."

"You play the guitar?" Ryan looked surprised.

"No, which is exactly why you so much better than me."

"That's comforting."

"No! I didnt mean it that w-"

"I know what you mean," Ryan laughed. I laughed too, realizing how stupid I had sounded. I loved hearing him laugh.

"I'd like to learn to play though," I revealed, smiling at him.

"I could teach you, if you want. That is if you want to learn from a not so great musician."

"You're a wonderful musician."

"Sure..."

"You are."

Ryan smiled at me. "Thanks."

"Anyway, about your offer. I think that'd b-"

"Ryan?" an unfamiliar girl's voice wafted down the staircase.

"Hold that thought," Ryan put his guitar down and walked over to the stairs, where someone practically tackled him down. It sort of reminded me of Sam tackling me on my first day in Vegas, only this tackle was Ryan's girlfriend.

"Ryan, sweetie! I feel like I havent seen you in forever!" the girl said, kissing him on the lips.

"That's because youve been gone for a month," Ryan replied, kissing her back. I stared at them, feeling a bit heartbroken. The girl had platinum blonde hair with black streaks, blue-gray eyes and a pale complexion that looked like it belonged to a porcelain doll. She was tall and lean, which made her look like a Swedish model of some sort. Suddenly, she noticed me.

"Oh, who's this?" she asked, still wrapped in an embrace with Ryan.

"Oh, yeah..." Ryan started, acting as if he'd completely forgotten who I was.

"Jac, this is Spencers cousin, Adrie. Adrie, this is my girlfriend, Jac."

"Well, Jac for short. My name's actually Jacqueline, but, as we all know, Ryan here has a thing for nicknames," Jac slapped Ryan lightly on the arm, as if chastising him. He smiled widely down at her, as she started talking again.

"So, you're Adrie? Ryan has told me so much about you, ever since he found out you were moving here."

"Really?" I knew it was a false hope, but I hoped that maybe Ryan's affection for Jac was waning.

"Yeah, he told me all about how you used to visit every summer and he and Spencer would torture you... I think it's so cute that you two are such good friends."

"Oh..." Apparently that's all we were and ever would be...

"I'm looking forward to getting to know you." At this, Jac smiled at Ryan and then at me. I faked a smile.

"Yeah. Me too."

"Let's go see what everyone else is doing," Ryan suggested, smiling at Jac. It was as if I'd disappeared and he was only talking to her.

"No need. We're back," Spencer announced as he and his entourage came back down the stairs.

"Hi everyone!" Jac greeted, still attached to Ryan. Greetings rained down on her. Sam noticed Jac and Ryan, and then looked at me. Her expression told me she knew what I was feeling. After everyone greeted Jac and had sat down to talk some more, Sam and I ventured upstairs. We settled in the kitchen, where I collapsed onto the counter.

"So what's up?"

"I'm trying not to think about how much I'd like to strangle him..." I looked up at her. "I feel like I'm just getting mixed signals from him. Am I just so hopeless and pathetic I'm mistaking everything he does for an interest in me?"

Sam walked over to the fridge and got some soda. She took a sip and looked at me.

"Have you noticed he only dates blondes?" she questioned randomly, taking other sip as she pondered that.

I stared at her. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, first of all, don't go out and bleach your hair blonde now. I'm just pointing out that he only goes out with blonde girls. Maybe it's some weird phase he's going through?"

"Yeah, for like half of his life"

Sam hugged me. "Come on. You don't need him. Remember, you've started this whole flirting thing with Jake. Maybe there's something forming there?"

I smiled at her. "You know I could always try to rekindle things with Sammy"

"No! You do that and I'll kill you. I'm sorry. But as your friend it is my job to keep you out of harm. And that is getting into harm." Sam downed the rest of her soda. "I can't believe you haven't repressed that phase of your life yet."

"Eh..." I started, "as a hopeless romantic, I never forget those I love and have loved."