Give Me Envy, Give Me Malice, Give Me Your Attention
Chapter 9
I gulped as Ryan and I continued staring at each other. I felt myself start blushing again and looked away.
"Umm... why don't you go watch the fireworks? It's not fair to you that I'm making you stay here with me."
"You're not making me"
"No, really. Go ahead."
"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you by yourself," Ryan smiled at me.
"I'll be fine," I replied, closing the door. I hoped he would get the hint that I wanted to be alone. He did. I waited until I heard him walk towards the front door, and then I leaned against the door, sighing. I felt like such an idiot. I had acted like a total retard in front of Ryan, the guy I had liked for ages upon end. I wouldn't hold it against him if he didn't talk to me ever again.
I squatted in front of the door, wanting to fling myself down the stairs. The opportune moment came when the door opened, causing me to stumble.
"Oh my gosh! I was kidding when I thought that!" I exclaimed, grabbing the handrail.
"When you thought what?" Sam peered at me from behind the door, giving me a quizzical look.
"I was thinking about throwing myself down the stairs to end my misery," I replied, looking down at the bottom.
"Don't do that. Just because Ryan has a girlfriend is no reason to kill yourself. It's not the end of the world. You still have me," Sam pointed out, matter-of-factly. Instantly, she realized what she said.
"You didn't know that, did you?"
"Yes, I did," I lied, trying to fake a smile.
Sam scrutinized my face. "No, you didn't. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to tell you and break your heart. It's not really my business to tell you and I know you really love him."
"I don't love him! I... he's just a friend, thats all! I dont love him at all!"
"Love who?"
Sam and I turned to see everyone at the party, inside and staring at us.
"Uh... I don't love..."
I looked at Sam, hoping she would help me come up with something.
"She doesn't love Barney," Sam cut in.
I stared at her, amazed that that was the only thing that came to her mind.
"Umm... why don't you go watch the fireworks? It's not fair to you that I'm making you stay here with me."
"You're not making me"
"No, really. Go ahead."
"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you by yourself," Ryan smiled at me.
"I'll be fine," I replied, closing the door. I hoped he would get the hint that I wanted to be alone. He did. I waited until I heard him walk towards the front door, and then I leaned against the door, sighing. I felt like such an idiot. I had acted like a total retard in front of Ryan, the guy I had liked for ages upon end. I wouldn't hold it against him if he didn't talk to me ever again.
I squatted in front of the door, wanting to fling myself down the stairs. The opportune moment came when the door opened, causing me to stumble.
"Oh my gosh! I was kidding when I thought that!" I exclaimed, grabbing the handrail.
"When you thought what?" Sam peered at me from behind the door, giving me a quizzical look.
"I was thinking about throwing myself down the stairs to end my misery," I replied, looking down at the bottom.
"Don't do that. Just because Ryan has a girlfriend is no reason to kill yourself. It's not the end of the world. You still have me," Sam pointed out, matter-of-factly. Instantly, she realized what she said.
"You didn't know that, did you?"
"Yes, I did," I lied, trying to fake a smile.
Sam scrutinized my face. "No, you didn't. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to tell you and break your heart. It's not really my business to tell you and I know you really love him."
"I don't love him! I... he's just a friend, thats all! I dont love him at all!"
"Love who?"
Sam and I turned to see everyone at the party, inside and staring at us.
"Uh... I don't love..."
I looked at Sam, hoping she would help me come up with something.
"She doesn't love Barney," Sam cut in.
I stared at her, amazed that that was the only thing that came to her mind.
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Short chapter. Next one up in a few.:D