Drumsticks, Starter Kits and Bass Guitars

You know the feeling that you get when you've cried too much and your stomach was upset? Heaven had surpassed that feeling an hour ago and was now retching over the toilet. Brandon pulled her to her feet once she was finished. Held her up as she scrubbed furiously with her toothbrush and then helped her into her bunk.

"It's okay to be heart broken," he murmered, kissing his sister's cheek. She shook her head.

"I'm not heart broken," she muttered, "You have to give someone your heart before they can break it."

"You always say that you don't believe in love or romance. But tell me this, Heav, if you aren't heart broken why does it hurt so much?"

"You're a good brother," she sighed, "You should be sleeping."

She waved him off, feeling a little sad and a little helpless. Usually she was the mother of the group. She was rarely the one that they had to take care of. She rolled over, tucked her large teddy bear under her chin and fell asleep.

******

Breakfast was a trival matter to the girl but her friends made sure that she was eating. So there Heaven stood with a plate full of food. Two bagels and a ton of strawberries. Her stomach rolled, but she forced the bread down with a gulp.
She knew she looked like shit, red puffy eyes from the night before and mussed hair. She hadn't showered in two days. The asshole was affecting her hygeine. She sniffed at herself...she didn't smell that bad. She actually smelled like the vanilla deoderant she had stolen from Ross.

The rest of the group was joking about how long it had taken Keri to get out of that bathroom that morning.

"I swear she was in there for two hours," Brandon muttered, "And I had to piss sooo bad."

"Just be grateful you don't have to share a bathroom with Wentz," Heaven said offhandedly, "He spends more time in the bathroom taking pictures than cleaning himself up."

"Hey!" Pete shouted from two tables over. Heaven tossed her other bagel at him, slightly happy that she wasn't going to have to eat it. He plucked it from the air and took a huge bit from it.

"Thanks Lover!" he shouted to her.

"Here to serve, Pedo!" she called back. He choked on the bagel. Ross offered him the heimlich.

"You just wanna get behind him," Heaven joked. Ryan shot her a dirty look.

"You know, you talk about boy sex alot," he shot at her.

"That's cause boy secksss is hottt!" she adopted a high pitched giggly voice, "Oh Ryan, I wanna have your babies! And maybe Pete's!"

"Sure, I get to be the after thought."

She flailed her hands in the air, rolled her eyes and took another bite out of her other bagel.

*******

"Hey," William started sitting next to her, "I just--I wanted to say sorry about how I handled things."

She shot him a confused look, "Oh, you mean how you sprung your ex on me eight hours before she showed up. Nah Bill that's cool. After all, what did it mean. It's not like we were dating."

"I--"

"So tell me, where is the cute little tra--"

"Oh my god it's Heaven!" Her head snapped to the speaker, fake smile in place before it turned into a real one.

"Oh fuck me, it's Matt-Me!" She jumped into the open arms of the new comer and hugged him tight.

"Oh great," Keri called loudly, "Heaven found her fuck buddy."

The group laughed as he pulled her lips into his.

"Well what the fuck," some one said, "And here I come all this way and you ignore me."

"Bryan! Sorry. Matt is specialer than you."

"That's not a word!" Bryan pouted. Heaven launched herself into his arms and put a kiss to his collar bone, as was her habit. She was just too short to reach most people's cheeks.

"But it's a word I made up for you!"

"Well that's all right then," he said with a grin, before pulling his hoodie off, "Let's get naked."

"How many times do I have to tell you," she said, mock exasperated, "Not with out a bottle of tequila and my Tweety Bird shot glass."

"You always were a picky slut."

"Don't you forget it, Robertson." His response was to stick his tongue out at her.

"I totally slept on My Chemical Romance's bus," Matt said, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, "And you're that skinny kid from The Academy is."

All eyes turned to Bill.

"I'm William Beckett."

"Right, I'm Matt. Heaven's one and only fuck buddy."

William's eyes got big, his face got pale and all the heat crept up into his ears. He shook his head and marched away.

"Come on," Matt said with a sexy little grin, pulling at her hand, leading her toward her bus.

The minute the door closed after them he pushed her into the first available bunk, pulling his hoodie over his head.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her again.

"Now tell me everything," he whispered, tucking her into his side as they laid down.

So she told him, and at the end of the story he was shaking his head muttering to himself.

"Now I don't feel like a complete asshole letting him think we really fuck."

Heaven laughed, "If I was gonna go all premarital it would be with you, Matt-me."

"If I'd waited till marriage, it would have been with you."

He kissed her temple, hands running up and down her side. She shivered.

******

Matt was her best friend. They were constantly touching each other. Well, Heaven was constantly touching anyone. She hated feeling alone and touch was a way to know that someone was there. Matt was the same way. The way they were together was the same way a really horny newly wed couple were. Hands on body parts all the time. When people watched them together people automatically assumed that they were together, but they weren't and had never actually considered it before.

Don't misunderstand, Heaven and Matt loved each other. Maybe in the way that Heaven claimed not to believe in, but that love was there. But the love had built into a really great friendship that the two of them based their lives off of. Matt was Heaven's rock, and Heaven was Matt's conscience. They were complete together.

"Tarra's a good friend," Heaven whispered as Matt's hand slipped under her t-shirt and played with her spine. Her face was buried in his chest and she sighed happily.

"I missed you so fucking much," she whispered.

"I missed you too," he said with a smile, another kiss, this time to her forehead, "I'm less rational without you there to keep me in line."

"Who'd you sleep with now?"

"I am shocked!" Matt gasped, "That that is what your mind automatically went to. And amazed that you got it on one."

He sighed this time, put his nose down into the crook of her neck.

"I slept with Demi again," she felt him say against her skin.

Goose bumps puckered and he rubbed his nose into them affectionately.

"Oh Matt-me," Heaven muttered, "You can't keep going back to her. She's getting married and every time she gets pissed at him she calls you. It's gonna break you."

"I love her. It's not that easy to just forget about her," he said sadly.

"You have to try Matt. What if after she get married she keeps it up. Will you sleep with someone else's wife?"

"I know Heaven. I do, I'm done with her, and I know that you'll hold me to it."

"Wanna do the ritual now?" Heaven whispered with a grin. He laughed, pulling out his phone.

He blocked her number, then deleted it from his phone book. Then he looked at her expectantly. She pulled out her sidekick and did the same to William. Neither of them said what they were thinking.
Those deleted numbers were etched into their minds.

"Just a few more," Tarra said happily, looking at the line of people buying and then having their merch signed. Heaven sighed in relief.

"Oh my, I love you guys," someone said and they looked up to see her. Bill stood awkwardly in the background.

"I told her you guys were busy," he started.

"Pshh," Tarra said, "We have time for all our fans. Hey Bryon, hook the girl up with a poster."

"Really?"

"Sure, why not?" Tarra said to her, her eyes scanning Bill's face.

He looked a little frightened. When she asked for autographs Tarra just shrugged sending it back down the line. Cristi and Keri signed it before sending it back up. Tarra scrawled all over it, and then shoved it at Heaven, who chose a corner and scrawled a note.

"Wow, thanks!" she seemed genuinely pleased with the gift. Her and Bill walked off. As soon as they were out of earshot Tarra turned to her friend.

"So, what did you write to her."

"Thanks for the support. Have a nice day," Heaven said, staring at her sharpie.

"You wrote something nice!"

"She started it!" Heaven complained childishly.

"Started what?"

"Being all nice and...and friendly."

Tarra looked disappointed, "Hmm, maybe I should give her a new poster then."

"Why, what did you write?" Heaven accused. Tarra just laughed.

*****

I was really into playing our set today. It felt good. It might be that I was showing off for Matt a little and maybe even for Bryan. Then again it could be because I had My Chemical Romance stuck in my head, which was making me hyper. But when I left stage I couldn't contain the huge smile on my face. It was like it had been before the accident and before Bill and it was the greatest thing.

I skipped off stage and into Matt's arms. My legs were around his waist, my face in his neck. He kissed the first bit of skin he could find and I laughed.

"How was it?"

"Better than when you used to play in that shed behind Cristi's house."

I laughed and he kissed me again.

"I have to go though," he said, "Tarra says that Bryan and I have to earn our living while we're here. I think she just doesn't want to man the merch tent herself."

"The merch tent is a bitch. I'm hungry, want anything?"

"Nah, I ate during the show," at her questioning look he said, "Cheeseburger and an apple."

"You bitch! You're the one that threw that apple at me!"

"It was just the core. And I made sure I missed."

"It hit Tarra," she deadpanned.

"Yes, but you see, that may have been my original intent."

"Go 'way, Matthew, you make my head hurt and my tummy rumble."

"I make other things rumble too, right."

"You're a sexy beast Matt-me and I heart your body. But I heart food better. Later slave."

"Hey!"

******

She was lounging at a table eating a cheeseburger and some Chips Ahoy cookies. Her eyes were closed, her head tipped to the top of the tent. She felt someone sit next to her and she opened her eyes and there she was.

"Mind if I sit here?" she asked and Heaven mutely shook her head.

The girl was silent for a minute, then she turned a grin to Heaven.

"I love you guys. Well, you know what I mean. I love how you are all hard core and not at the same time."

"Thanks." Is that even a compliment?

"You know," she continued after another second of silence, "I think there might have been something between Bill and your friend Tarra."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, she wrote 'Die Skank' on that poster."

Heaven nodded wisely.

"See, the truth is, Tarra and Bill were mad in love. We called them Barra. Constantly together those two. Don't worry, she won't try to physically harm you. Those anger management classes really helped her alot. Look, I have to go, but I'll see you around?"

And Heaven skipped back to the bus with her food.