Tonight Will Be The Night, I Will Fall For You

Maybe I'm just dreaming. Yeah, that's exactly what's happening. I'm was having a good dream and it's just turning into a nightmare. All I have to do is wake up. Just wake up. But how the hell am I supposed to wake myself up?!

I pinched my arm as hard as I could, and it hurt like a muthafucker. Dammit. I'm not dreaming. It's not a nightmare. This is reality..

Then that means Josh really is here.. and so is Nick.. and me..

And all the feelings I'm feeling while I'm sitting here looking at Josh are real.. Even after all these years..

What about Nick?? What about me falling in love with him?

I knew it was too soon for me to even consider that.. Right?

I turned and looked at Nick, and he slowly gazed back at me, while Josh continued to glare at him.. I smiled. I could feel the warmth filling my body. I know that I really do care about Nick.

Then I turned back to Josh.. and the same thing happened. Plus, he and I have so much history together. He knows everything there is to know about me and more.. He was my first and only love. I gave him everything..

I still remember every aspect of our relationship. I can remember staying up late in my room, writing page upon page about him in my diary. I used to be so deeply in love with him. I based my whole life around him.

He used to tell me everyday how much he loved me and how we were destined to be together forever. That there was no doubt in his mind that we were soulmates. And I believed him..

Then it got worse. He got.. jealous. Majorly jealous. And he secluded me from the world. My friends, my family (that one didn't bother me), everyone. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere, see anyone.. But I thought it was out of love. That he just loved me so much, he wanted me all to himself.

I was wrong.

As I thought about all the things he had done, and all the beatings I had taken from him, all the hateful words, I began to remember why I ended in the first place. I was full of love. He was full of hate. I refused to be in a one-sided relationship. And I still do.

Nick was the guy who would save me from all of this. He was the one who was going to save me from my family, from Josh, from all the hate in the world.

I looked at Josh, feeling braver than I ever had, and I stepped towards him.

"Josh, how about you go and do me a huge favor huh? FUCK OFF."

The look of shock in his eyes was the most amazing thing in the world, and I loved every second of it.

He turned away, and proceeded in the other direction. I was relieved until he turned around again, reaching into his pocket.

Shit.