‹ Prequel: Changes
Making the Album
Making Amends.2
"Mike?"
The bassist jumped a mile. Turning around, he saw Jay standing in the door. Mike reminded himself to find Billie something fantastically kinky, and started towards Jay.
But he held up a hand, keeping Mike from getting too close.
"What...?"
"We... We need to talk."
Mike grabbed a hat and a coat, and the two of them went down to the park.
***
It was very quiet. Only a few young couples kissing tenderly. Mike leaned against a tree. Jay had lead him to a secluded area, which could mean two things: kissing, or a fight. Mike was hoping for the latter.
Jay scuffed his boot against the dirt. He looked guilty. Which was not something Mike wanted to see.
"Mike... I... I did something today that I'm not proud of."
"What?"
"Let me explain this the right way." Jay said quietly.
There was a moment of silence. Mike watched Jay. Jay fidgeted with his necklace, refusing to look at Mike.
"When I got to the tour bus, I... I was upset. And I found a stash in the bus... I lit up. I hadn't smoked in a while so I had no idea what my limits were. I only meant to get buzzed..."
"Is that all? You did some drugs? That's fine, you made a mistake—"
Jay held up a hand. Mike stopped talking.
"Then Billie showed up."
Mike had a horrible, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Jay's cheeks flushed, and he kicked at a tree root.
";I... I don't really know why... I just... I was so upset, and I'd thought you'd left me... And then Billie tripped over me and I went to help him up..."
There was a strange roaring in Mike's ears. He felt hot, molten fury bubbling in his stomach. Jay seemed to sense it.
"I fucked him. And he had very little to do with it, to be honest. He was stoned; I was wasted out of my mind. I... I'm sorry it happened."
The anger in Mike's stomach erupted.
"You're sorry?" The earth literally trembled. Jay's jaw dropped.
"Mike—"
"DON'T 'MIKE' ME! YOU FUCKED MY BEST FRIEND!"
"Look, it was an accident—"
"SO HE RAMMED HIS DICK UP YOUR ASS ON HIS OWN, DID HE? JUST TRIPPED AND OOPS?" Mike demanded, shaking. Jay sighed.
"I only have one other thing to say to you, Mike. And then you can yell, and scream and hit me all you like."
Mike paused, glaring at Jay angrily. His curiosity was getting the better of him.
"Go on, then."
"I... I love you, Mike. You're the only person in the world who cared about me this much. You're the only one whose shouted at me, and tried to get me clean, and stood by me no matter what. I'd tell you I want to be with you forever, but forever's not fucking long enough. You're gorgeous, and you're smart, and you make me feel good about myself. And I'm in love with you, Mike. I can't say it enough."
Mike couldn't find any more anger to throw at him. Jay's words were a balm for his hurt, a bandage to tape his heart together with. And he couldn't bring himself to yell anymore.
And then Jay stepped forward and placed the most gentle, tender kiss on Mike's lips.
"I love you." Jay said, very quietly, in a voice that was meant only for him.
"I love you too." Mike replied, and let Jay hold him.
Because it just felt right.
The bassist jumped a mile. Turning around, he saw Jay standing in the door. Mike reminded himself to find Billie something fantastically kinky, and started towards Jay.
But he held up a hand, keeping Mike from getting too close.
"What...?"
"We... We need to talk."
Mike grabbed a hat and a coat, and the two of them went down to the park.
***
It was very quiet. Only a few young couples kissing tenderly. Mike leaned against a tree. Jay had lead him to a secluded area, which could mean two things: kissing, or a fight. Mike was hoping for the latter.
Jay scuffed his boot against the dirt. He looked guilty. Which was not something Mike wanted to see.
"Mike... I... I did something today that I'm not proud of."
"What?"
"Let me explain this the right way." Jay said quietly.
There was a moment of silence. Mike watched Jay. Jay fidgeted with his necklace, refusing to look at Mike.
"When I got to the tour bus, I... I was upset. And I found a stash in the bus... I lit up. I hadn't smoked in a while so I had no idea what my limits were. I only meant to get buzzed..."
"Is that all? You did some drugs? That's fine, you made a mistake—"
Jay held up a hand. Mike stopped talking.
"Then Billie showed up."
Mike had a horrible, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Jay's cheeks flushed, and he kicked at a tree root.
";I... I don't really know why... I just... I was so upset, and I'd thought you'd left me... And then Billie tripped over me and I went to help him up..."
There was a strange roaring in Mike's ears. He felt hot, molten fury bubbling in his stomach. Jay seemed to sense it.
"I fucked him. And he had very little to do with it, to be honest. He was stoned; I was wasted out of my mind. I... I'm sorry it happened."
The anger in Mike's stomach erupted.
"You're sorry?" The earth literally trembled. Jay's jaw dropped.
"Mike—"
"DON'T 'MIKE' ME! YOU FUCKED MY BEST FRIEND!"
"Look, it was an accident—"
"SO HE RAMMED HIS DICK UP YOUR ASS ON HIS OWN, DID HE? JUST TRIPPED AND OOPS?" Mike demanded, shaking. Jay sighed.
"I only have one other thing to say to you, Mike. And then you can yell, and scream and hit me all you like."
Mike paused, glaring at Jay angrily. His curiosity was getting the better of him.
"Go on, then."
"I... I love you, Mike. You're the only person in the world who cared about me this much. You're the only one whose shouted at me, and tried to get me clean, and stood by me no matter what. I'd tell you I want to be with you forever, but forever's not fucking long enough. You're gorgeous, and you're smart, and you make me feel good about myself. And I'm in love with you, Mike. I can't say it enough."
Mike couldn't find any more anger to throw at him. Jay's words were a balm for his hurt, a bandage to tape his heart together with. And he couldn't bring himself to yell anymore.
And then Jay stepped forward and placed the most gentle, tender kiss on Mike's lips.
"I love you." Jay said, very quietly, in a voice that was meant only for him.
"I love you too." Mike replied, and let Jay hold him.
Because it just felt right.