Making the Album

The ride to the cementary was agony. The minutes squinched by and no one was talking.

"It was a great ceremony, yeah?" Blondie said quietly.
"Yeah." Tre replied.
"Terrific." Jay said absently.

Then it all faded into silence, puntuated by the sounds of the highway and passing cars.

Tony's world shrank to the feeling of Billie's fingers rubbing against her hand. She leaned against him, letting his body heat seep into her. Hot, silent tears slipped down her cheeks, and she closed her eyes.

She just wanted to sleep. To sleep without those horrible dreams for once.

And the worst part, the very worst part, was the relief she'd felt when she'd heard that Billie was safe. She hadn't spared Barry a second thought, even though she'd known that Barry'd loved her.

Guilt curled up in her stomach like a rock, and not even Billie could make it better.

---

"Dirt to dirt, and dust to dust..."

The priest's words faded in and out of Rabbit's mind. He wasn't really paying attention. He was trying to control himself, to keep him emotions in check.

"And even though he has left us, we should not mourn his loss..."

It was so easy for the priest to stand there and say that. He hadn't known Barry, hadn't watched him die. It wasn't the priest's fault that Barry was in that box, Rabbit thought bitterly. If he'd been quicker, smarter, then that bastard would never have made it into the arena with a gun, let alone get a chance to fire it.

"For he is in a better place..."

Where was the proof of that? How did they know that Barry wasn't in some sort of hell? Rabbit grit his teeth together, and prayed, to whatever god would listen to a young punk like him, for this ceremony to be over.

"Where he is, there is no evil, or sorrow, or pain. He lies with the angels tonight. And he looks down upon us from Heaven."

"Amen." Rabbit whispered tonelessly, along with the others.

And then Billie stepped forward, to the very edge of the grave, and dropped a sparkling guitar pick into the grave. Mike dropped a handful of dirt, Tre tossed in a pair of drumsticks.

Jay flicked in a pack of matches. Tom came shuffling up with a shifty look on his face, and dropped in a freshly rolled joint. Then he vanished to the back of the line, avoiding the priest's gaze.

Tony dropped in a fistful of dirt. Rabbit might have been the only one who noticed that her hands were shaking. Blondie dropped dirt as well, although he kneeled and kissed the spot where the headstone would soon stand.

And then it was Rabbit's turn.

He stood there, fist closed tightly over an object that no one could see. He was perfectly balanced at the edge. One wrong move and he would fall in, although Rabbit wasn't really worried about that.

He had something to say.

"Barry," He whispered. "I remember the first night we met. I was only fifteen and stinking drunk. I don't know how old you were then, but you were everything I wanted to be...if I'd wanted to be a producer and a businessman."

Rabbit paused, remembering that night.

"You took me home, even though I didn't want to go. And you visited me. You forced me to finish high school, forced me to get a degree. You dragged me kicking and screaming through school, and you never gave up."

He took a deep breath, aware of all the eyes watching him.

"As far as I'm concerned, you made me the man I am today. And I don't have the words to thank you."

His voice started shaking. Rabbit was losing control, and he had to say what he needed to say before he did.

"I wish you weren't dead. You didn't deserve to die, not now, not like this. You should have died old, rich and happy, with a wife who would've loved you and a pack of children and grandchildren..."

Rabbit was actually shaking now, and tears pricked at his eyes.

"If anyone should have died in that hospital bed, it should have been me."

He swiped impatiently at his tears, desperate to be done with this ceremony and out at a bar getting wasted.

"I'm going to make you proud, Barry. I'm going to make something of myself. I'll be everything you wanted me to be, and more. I'll make you proud of me, you bastard."

Rabbit then opened his fingers and let a single object fall from his hand.

The rose fell downwards, resplendant and beautiful. It was almost black, but not quite. The petals had a hint of red, hint of pink, to them, something almost gold about the tips.

Tony thought that she'd never seen anything quite so beautiful, or quite so sad. It was an image that stayed with her a long time, the sight of Rabbit with his blue hair and handsome, tear-streaked face looking down into the grave and that rose falling slowly out of sight.

She turned to Billie, face almost white.

"He...he looks like your song." She whispered. "He looks like the Jesus of Suburbia."
"Well...I'll be damned..." Billie said quietly.

And then Rabbit gave them a small smile, and vanished into a taxi.

"Think he'll be coming home in one peice tonight?" Tre asked.
"Nah..." Mike said with an almost smile. "We'll probably get a call in the wee hours of the morning..."
"Police, most likely." Jay interjected.
"Public intoxication." Robert chuckled.
"Lewd and lacivious behavior." Tre sighed.
"Aggravated assault." Tom added.
"The usual." Blondie sighed.
"And we'll bail him out." Billie said firmly.
"And why is that again?" Mike asked.

Billie smiled.

"Because he's family."