Changes

It was raining.

Billie Joe felt the rain, and in the back of his head, he knew that Tre and Mike were waiting for him. He knew they wouldn't leave him here alone.

But he couldn't just leave them here.

If he walked away, it would mean that the past few weeks were real. That everything had actually happened, and he wouldn't wake up from this nightmare. That his life wouldn't ever go back to normal, with a family and friends and a band.

If he walked away, then he'd stay empty.

He couldn't fill this void with his music, or with touring or even with Tre and Mike. It would always be there, a giant, gaping wound that sucked away any happiness he felt.

So he stood there. Rain dripped down his cheeks, mixing with tears. He grew steadily wetter and steadily colder. He blinked away teardrops from his eyeslashes, clenched his fists so tight his nails bit into his palms.

And he refused to leave, even when Mike and Tre came to stand with him. He wouldn't listen to their whispered words of caution, of comfort.

When they, in turn, refused to leave, and instead stood quietly by his side, Billie Joe felt himself almost smile.

But he couldn't.

How could he ever smile again, when Adrienne was dead?