Sequel: Making the Album ›
Changes
My Immortal.
It occured to Billie how lucky he was that no one recognized at least him. But he didn't want to move. She was so damaged, so young. And no one knew.
"It'll be alright. We'll get you into a hospital, into a program-"
The change was instantaneous. Tony shoved him away from her, eyes flashing. Billie stumbled back, stunned.
"There is no fucking way I'm going anywhere, Billie Joe Armstrong!"
"You need help!"
"What I need is my guitar, and to get on a fucking stage!"
And before he could move, she was gone, dashing through the swarms of people and vanishing.
~~~
"Hey, Berto, it's me. I'm going back down to Gilman Street. I will be back around 12:00, maybe earlier. DON'T worry. I stopped by the room to get my acoustic, I'll probably be performing something. So I'll see you guys later."
She turned off her cell phone. Tony still wasn't sure if she should have called Robert, but she knew he'd worry, and Billie would tell everyone about her arms and they'd lose the contract...
"No. You can't think like that. Stop. Just stop."
Because if she kept thinking like that, she'd start cutting up her arms again. And the only way she knew to avoid that was to perform.
~~~
"Mike, you should have seen the marks...it was like she put her arm through the blender or something."
"You've gotta be exaggerating."
"I'm not."
"Then we need to get her help. And then we need to find a new opening band-"
"NO. Mike, you can't tell anyone about this!"
"And why the hell not?"
"Because that'll just make things worse!"
Mike glared at him, then sighed.
"Well, where is she?"
"Actually-"
"She's down at Gilman Street again."
Robert had apparently heard their conversation, and was standing at the bottom of the staircase, glaring.
"So you couldn't leave well enough alone? Now she's gone, her guitar's gone and if she doesn't come back soon..."
Billie stepped close to Robert, putting his face inches from the younger man's.
"You'll do what? You owe everything to us. And Tony will come back."
"What reason does she have to come back? Because she wants to screw you?Let me tell you, that's not why she'd come back."
"And what reason does she have to come back?"
"Me. Us. The Band. No you. Never you. So you just take your pity and your record deal and shove it up your ass. If Tony's out, we're all out."
"You little bastard." Mike snapped. Robert grinned.
"You have no idea how much I'd like to hit you. Talking about her like she's some psychotic little freak. If you really cared about her..."
But Robert just shook his head and turned away.
"We'll be leaving, once I talk to Tony and figure out what she wants. If she's enough of an idiot to still want to stay here, we'll stay. But just know, if you hurt her, I'll kill you."
~~~
Tony's hands were shaking as she pulled the gloves on. Thank god they were almost exactly like her old ones. She heard the announcer talking to the crowd. They'd want a repeat of last night, and she really wasn't sure she could deliver.
But she'd sure as hell try.
She heard her name, and walked into the light.
~~~
Billie's chest hurt and Mike's hat was too big. But he was here, he was unrecognizable, and he knew Tony was inside.
He slipped through the doors and into a booth. Tony was just about to begin whatever performance she was planning. She held an acoustic guitar, an Alvarez, if he wasn't mistaken. And she looked nervous. Or maybe that was just what he saw.
She adjusted the mike and spoke into it.
"I'm going to sing for you. The song I've picked, it might not be as good as what I sang last night, and it wasn't meant to be played on an acoustic, but I wanna sing it, I need to sing it."
She paused, and for a brief, heart-stopping moment, Billie thought she was looking at him.
"The song is called, 'Love Song', by the Cure."
And she strummed the opening chords.
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
Her voice was just as beautiful as it had been last night. She barely looked at her guitar while she played. But knowing what was under those gloves, made her all the more beautiful.
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again
The crowd was silent, dancing and kissing and drinking. They were almost reverant of Tony, and the voice she possessed.
However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you
She thought she saw him, out there in the crowd. But it was just her eyes. Billie couldn't know where she was. The only person who knew where she was was Robert, and Robert...Robert hated Billie for those stupid guy reasons. Tony smiled to herself. Robert was jealous.
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again
For the first time in a long time, she was truly happy with herself. It was almost as good as playing with her band, almost as intoxicating as playing to a mashing, screaming crowd. But something about the intimacy of the almost silent club made her smile.
However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you
She let the last few chords fade away into the darkness, then stood. She bowed to the cheering crowd, and walked offstage.
Now she needed to go back and face whatever hell Billie had prepared for her.
~~~
As she walked off the stage, Billie stood. He didn't care about her cuts anymore, did't think he could bear to put her into a hospital.
He just wanted to hold her.
And in the back of his head, he knew that Adrienne would have approved.
"It'll be alright. We'll get you into a hospital, into a program-"
The change was instantaneous. Tony shoved him away from her, eyes flashing. Billie stumbled back, stunned.
"There is no fucking way I'm going anywhere, Billie Joe Armstrong!"
"You need help!"
"What I need is my guitar, and to get on a fucking stage!"
And before he could move, she was gone, dashing through the swarms of people and vanishing.
~~~
"Hey, Berto, it's me. I'm going back down to Gilman Street. I will be back around 12:00, maybe earlier. DON'T worry. I stopped by the room to get my acoustic, I'll probably be performing something. So I'll see you guys later."
She turned off her cell phone. Tony still wasn't sure if she should have called Robert, but she knew he'd worry, and Billie would tell everyone about her arms and they'd lose the contract...
"No. You can't think like that. Stop. Just stop."
Because if she kept thinking like that, she'd start cutting up her arms again. And the only way she knew to avoid that was to perform.
~~~
"Mike, you should have seen the marks...it was like she put her arm through the blender or something."
"You've gotta be exaggerating."
"I'm not."
"Then we need to get her help. And then we need to find a new opening band-"
"NO. Mike, you can't tell anyone about this!"
"And why the hell not?"
"Because that'll just make things worse!"
Mike glared at him, then sighed.
"Well, where is she?"
"Actually-"
"She's down at Gilman Street again."
Robert had apparently heard their conversation, and was standing at the bottom of the staircase, glaring.
"So you couldn't leave well enough alone? Now she's gone, her guitar's gone and if she doesn't come back soon..."
Billie stepped close to Robert, putting his face inches from the younger man's.
"You'll do what? You owe everything to us. And Tony will come back."
"What reason does she have to come back? Because she wants to screw you?Let me tell you, that's not why she'd come back."
"And what reason does she have to come back?"
"Me. Us. The Band. No you. Never you. So you just take your pity and your record deal and shove it up your ass. If Tony's out, we're all out."
"You little bastard." Mike snapped. Robert grinned.
"You have no idea how much I'd like to hit you. Talking about her like she's some psychotic little freak. If you really cared about her..."
But Robert just shook his head and turned away.
"We'll be leaving, once I talk to Tony and figure out what she wants. If she's enough of an idiot to still want to stay here, we'll stay. But just know, if you hurt her, I'll kill you."
~~~
Tony's hands were shaking as she pulled the gloves on. Thank god they were almost exactly like her old ones. She heard the announcer talking to the crowd. They'd want a repeat of last night, and she really wasn't sure she could deliver.
But she'd sure as hell try.
She heard her name, and walked into the light.
~~~
Billie's chest hurt and Mike's hat was too big. But he was here, he was unrecognizable, and he knew Tony was inside.
He slipped through the doors and into a booth. Tony was just about to begin whatever performance she was planning. She held an acoustic guitar, an Alvarez, if he wasn't mistaken. And she looked nervous. Or maybe that was just what he saw.
She adjusted the mike and spoke into it.
"I'm going to sing for you. The song I've picked, it might not be as good as what I sang last night, and it wasn't meant to be played on an acoustic, but I wanna sing it, I need to sing it."
She paused, and for a brief, heart-stopping moment, Billie thought she was looking at him.
"The song is called, 'Love Song', by the Cure."
And she strummed the opening chords.
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
Her voice was just as beautiful as it had been last night. She barely looked at her guitar while she played. But knowing what was under those gloves, made her all the more beautiful.
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again
The crowd was silent, dancing and kissing and drinking. They were almost reverant of Tony, and the voice she possessed.
However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you
She thought she saw him, out there in the crowd. But it was just her eyes. Billie couldn't know where she was. The only person who knew where she was was Robert, and Robert...Robert hated Billie for those stupid guy reasons. Tony smiled to herself. Robert was jealous.
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again
For the first time in a long time, she was truly happy with herself. It was almost as good as playing with her band, almost as intoxicating as playing to a mashing, screaming crowd. But something about the intimacy of the almost silent club made her smile.
However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you
She let the last few chords fade away into the darkness, then stood. She bowed to the cheering crowd, and walked offstage.
Now she needed to go back and face whatever hell Billie had prepared for her.
~~~
As she walked off the stage, Billie stood. He didn't care about her cuts anymore, did't think he could bear to put her into a hospital.
He just wanted to hold her.
And in the back of his head, he knew that Adrienne would have approved.