The Cracks in Our Foundation
Tuck and Roll to Freedom
His wallet was on the coffee table, right in the middle of the puddle of soda. I hoped the irony was not lost on him. He just shrugged and wiped it off on his pants.
We walked to the car and he opened my door for me. He really could be so sweet sometimes. I leaned over and unlocked his door for him. We always joked about the "Say Anything" rule. If you open the car door for your date and they unlock your door for you, it means they really like you. And I did... well I loved him. Sometimes I wasn't so sure about the liking him part. It was always so much easier to love someone than to like them.
Just so everyone's clear, I do have annoying habits too. One of those habits is changing Cd's. I hate the radio and sometimes I don't want to listen to an entire CD, so I play passenger seat DJ. I'll listen to a song or two then put in a different CD. He hated it when I did that. I could hear him heave a long suffering sigh beside me. I wasn't doing it to annoy him, really. It was just something I did.
"Do you have to do that tonight?" I could see his knuckles going white on the steering wheel.
"Do what?" I wasn't really paying attention, I was too busy flipping through my Cd's.
"You know exactly what. Please don't keep changing the Cd's. I can't stand when you do that, just listen to one goddamn CD. Is it really that hard?" I could almost hear his eyes roll back.
I looked at him as the street lights passed over his face, bright then dark. His teeth were clenched. I considered whether or not I should stop. A part of me wanted to change the CD one last time, just for the sheer perverted joy of it, just to see his jaw tighten up even more. I almost giggled as I reached for another CD. He looked away from the road and met my eyes. His face was dark with anger. Maybe I had pushed it as far as I should. I leaned back in my seat and left the radio alone. I could feel the tension ease out of him.
I rolled down the window and lit a cigarette. I took a long drag, feeling some of the tension leave my body with the smoke.
"You know you smoke too much."
"Everyone needs a hobby." I watched the smoke trail up into the night sky.
"Seriously, you should really quit. It isn't good for you." I wasn't sure if it was concern I heard in his voice or irritation. It was sad that i couldn't tell the difference anymore.
"Life is bad for you," I replied with a smirk.
"You're always so fucking pessimistic. Do you have to be so bitter all the time?" his knuckles were going white again.
"It's part of my charm. It's what makes me the special little person I am," I laughed as I flicked the cigarette out the window.
"Whatever," he mumbled.
The tension level in the car was high. Neither of us spoke. We didn't even look at each other. I was beginning to wonder if it wouldn't be less uncomfortable and painful to just open the car door and hurl myself onto the pavement. I could just tuck and roll my way to freedom.
It turned out it was unnecessary. We were at the party.
We walked to the car and he opened my door for me. He really could be so sweet sometimes. I leaned over and unlocked his door for him. We always joked about the "Say Anything" rule. If you open the car door for your date and they unlock your door for you, it means they really like you. And I did... well I loved him. Sometimes I wasn't so sure about the liking him part. It was always so much easier to love someone than to like them.
Just so everyone's clear, I do have annoying habits too. One of those habits is changing Cd's. I hate the radio and sometimes I don't want to listen to an entire CD, so I play passenger seat DJ. I'll listen to a song or two then put in a different CD. He hated it when I did that. I could hear him heave a long suffering sigh beside me. I wasn't doing it to annoy him, really. It was just something I did.
"Do you have to do that tonight?" I could see his knuckles going white on the steering wheel.
"Do what?" I wasn't really paying attention, I was too busy flipping through my Cd's.
"You know exactly what. Please don't keep changing the Cd's. I can't stand when you do that, just listen to one goddamn CD. Is it really that hard?" I could almost hear his eyes roll back.
I looked at him as the street lights passed over his face, bright then dark. His teeth were clenched. I considered whether or not I should stop. A part of me wanted to change the CD one last time, just for the sheer perverted joy of it, just to see his jaw tighten up even more. I almost giggled as I reached for another CD. He looked away from the road and met my eyes. His face was dark with anger. Maybe I had pushed it as far as I should. I leaned back in my seat and left the radio alone. I could feel the tension ease out of him.
I rolled down the window and lit a cigarette. I took a long drag, feeling some of the tension leave my body with the smoke.
"You know you smoke too much."
"Everyone needs a hobby." I watched the smoke trail up into the night sky.
"Seriously, you should really quit. It isn't good for you." I wasn't sure if it was concern I heard in his voice or irritation. It was sad that i couldn't tell the difference anymore.
"Life is bad for you," I replied with a smirk.
"You're always so fucking pessimistic. Do you have to be so bitter all the time?" his knuckles were going white again.
"It's part of my charm. It's what makes me the special little person I am," I laughed as I flicked the cigarette out the window.
"Whatever," he mumbled.
The tension level in the car was high. Neither of us spoke. We didn't even look at each other. I was beginning to wonder if it wouldn't be less uncomfortable and painful to just open the car door and hurl myself onto the pavement. I could just tuck and roll my way to freedom.
It turned out it was unnecessary. We were at the party.