The Cracks in Our Foundation

The party was in full swing when we arrived. The hosts were friends of his and acquaintances of mine. We didn't really have any mutual friends. It didn't really matter, there was free alcohol. Pretty soon everyone would be friends.

We walked to the house in silence. It seemed like there was a cloud of tension around us. As soon as we were inside the house, he disappeared into the crowd. More than likely in search of the alcohol. I couldn't really blame him. It was much easier to be around each other when we were both under the influence. I suppose that should have sent up some red flags but I was good at ignoring the obvious.

Since he was somewhere getting drunk as fast as he could, I decided to step outside for another cigarette. It felt good to be alone for a moment. I wandered further from the house. I didn't even want to think, I just wanted to enjoy the warm night air around me and the distant sounds of crickets. Loud laughter rang out form the house. It sounded like everyone was having fun. I wish I could say the same.

I spotted him as I came through the door. He was talking to a group of people, gesturing emphatically with his hands. He always liked to be the center of attention. I walked up and put my arm around his waist in an attempt to diffuse the tension from earlier. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"So how have things been with you?" one of his nameless friends asked me. I say nameless because he never introduced me to anyone. They always seemed to know who I was so I assumed he at least told them about me.

"It's been pretty good," I replied. "Work has been pretty busy. We just got in this shipment of..." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him making that face. The face that plainly said he was bored as hell by whatever it was I was saying. Never mind the fact that he probably wasn't paying enough attention to even know what I was saying. He never really paid attention to what I said. He was the master of the well placed nod and uh-huh. He smiled and rolled his eyes at one of his friends.

I stopped talking and shrugged off his arm.

"It's okay sweetie. At least you didn't tell a joke. Everyone knows that you're not funny," he laughed. "How bout you just stand there and be pretty?"

Everyone looked around, suddenly very uncomfortable. A few even threw me pitying looks. I wanted nothing more than to punch him in his smug face.

"Why don't you have another drink? Maybe then you'll be more tolerable," I pushed my way through the crowd. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't really care. I just wanted to be away from him.

I ended up in the kitchen. There was a tray of shots on the counter. I grabbed one and downed it. I looked up to see one of his friends walk into the kitchen. I looked away in embarrassment.

"You know, normally I avoid other people's relationships like the plague but I had to ask," he looked away, almost as uncomfortable as I was. "Why do you put up with that? Does he do that kind of thing often?"

"Sometimes," I took another shot. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment. Maybe I committed some horrible crime in another life. Look, I appreciate your concern but I really don't want to talk about it."

He nodded and left the kitchen. Sympathy, or god forbid pity, was the last thing I wanted. I just wanted to be alone. I remembered that we don't always get what we want when he walked through the door.

"What the fuck was that all about?" he yelled.

"I really don't want to talk about this here and now," I started to walk past him.

"Of course, I forgot. Everything has to be just the way YOU want it. I'm so sorry I bothered you, your majesty." He bowed mockingly.

"Fuck you," I screamed as I pushed past him.

Yeah, we were definitely having fun now.