‹ Prequel: The Pros and Cons of Loving
The Pros and Cons of Growing Up
Part Twelve
The Next Morning…
Frank’s POV
“I don’t know what else to do… We have to go on tour.” Gerard sighed, running his hands through his hair. “But leaving Eric and Aiden together… won’t work.”
“We can’t take them.” I sighed, wrapping my arms around Gerard from behind. He was sitting at our kitchen table and I was standing directly behind him. I kissed his cheek and sighed softly again. “Maybe if they’re alone together Aiden will get better. When you had problems, you were always so much better when it was only you and I in a room. Don’t you agree?”
“Yes but you’re the one who can get Aiden to eat, Frank. Not Eric.”
“I don’t know, Gee. Alright? I have no clue what to do! It isn’t like I… I planned this. I feel terrible about this… like it’s all of my fault.” I sank into the chair next to Gerard. “What did I do wrong, Gerard? What did I do wrong?”
“Frank!” Gerard gasped. “This is not your fault! You did nothing wrong! If anyone caused this it was me, leaving you and then randomly popping back into his life.”
“Don’t be stupid, Gee.” I sniffed. “I guess we just… go on tour and see what happens.”
“I’ll call Brian.” He said quietly. He loudly pushed his chair back, pulling out his cell phone, and walked outside, saying, “Brian, it’s Gerard. Not much, you…”
I stood as well, making my way into the living room. Aiden was asleep on the couch, where he’d been since last night when he had come home crying—yes, crying— because of his stomach. His blanket had fallen off of him and I covered him back up.
His eyes fluttered opened and fell on me. “Hey, Daddy.” He whispered sleepily.
“Hi, honey.” I smiled.
“I’m hungry.” He yawned, stretching.
“I’ll make you something and be right back.” I said, going towards the kitchen. I made him some cinnamon toast because it had been his favorite food when he was younger. When it was only he and I, for a while it was the only food he could make himself. I would lie in bed in the mornings and he would bring me some, shyly, and try to get me out of bed. It always worked.
When I came back in, he was sitting up and watching television. I handed him his toast and some orange juice and he began to eat. I went on upstairs to finish packing. Eric was standing in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror hard.
“What’s wrong, babe?” I asked.
He jumped and turned to look at me. “Aiden and I were… roughly around the same weight before he left… now he’s so skinny and I just… I mean… I don’t think I’m fat. At all. I mean, I know that I can lose some weight here and there but I’m not about to go anorexic… I just don’t understand.” He shook his head, looking back at himself. “I mean, does he think I’m fat? Or id it just his whole…. Mentality about himself?”
“He thinks you are gorgeous, Eric. You are.” I leaned in the doorway. “Ever since he met his birth parents he’s been very insecure… I think something happened to him on his stay with them… he’s never said anything, but I can just… I get the feeling. But no, it is his mentality about himself… he’s eating now though.”
“Thank god.” Eric sighed. “Frank, I… you can get him to eat, I can’t… How am I supposed to handle this?”
“I wish… I wish we weren’t leaving.” I scratched my head, trying to come up with something. “But… we have to.”
“I know.” Eric said and shook his head. “I’m going to go lay with him for a while.”
“Alright, hon.” I patted his back as he left, then went into my room to continue packing.
It didn’t take me long to get done, and after that I had absolutely nothing to do. I sat on the edge of my bed, well aware of how boring my life had become. I really had turned into an old man, a grandpa. I wasn’t even that old though. Men were still having babies at my age, not that I was 1) capable of that or, 2) wanting another child. I think two grown kids is enough for me to handle.
“I’m gonna go visit Bella!” I called, heading downstairs. No one even bothered to answer so I just left…
Bella’s POV
“BUT I DOES NOT WANT THAT ONE!”
“Jack, for goodness sake, it really does not matter!” I snapped, tugging at Jack’s hand.
“Momma, I am 6 and ¼ years old. I am able to pick MY OWN TOOTHBRUSH!”
“You want the pink toothbrush, goddamnit, you take the pink toothbrush! And don’t blame me when you turn gay because I TOLD YOU TO GET THE GREEN ONE!”
“Thank you.” Jack put the pink toothbrush into the cart and looped his fingers through the cart, walking along side it.
I sighed, pushing the cart towards the food.
“Mommy, I think I want that green toothbrush.” Jack said shyly, smiling adorably at me.
“Oh, alright. Go on and get it.” I turned and watch him run down the tooth aisle and he appeared seconds later, a neon green toothbrush in his hand. “Happy?”
“Yep.” He grinned.
I hoisted him up and put him in the front seat for kids, going on towards the food. “Guess who called momma this morning.”
“Nikki?”
“Well yeah but guess who else.”
“Who?”
“Grandpa Frankie.” I kissed his cheek. “He’s going to come see you.”
“Momma, that… that is good because I’m not sick anymore. Last time that he came I was sick.”
“I know it. He wants to see you before he goes away.”
“Where is he going?”
“Oh, I dunno. On tour. Where he sings.” I said, pulling some cookies off of the shelf and putting them in the cart.
Jack grabbed another bag of his favorite type of cookies and put it in the cart as well. We were a team when we shopped. He did a pretty good job, but every once in a while I would find a random tin of anchovies at the bottom of the cart or once even I found condoms. I was never sure how he managed to sneak random items in, but it was always hilarious.
“We need crackers, momma. When you was at work Nikki and I ate them all with the puppy.” Jack said, pointing his finger at the crackers on the aisle farthest from the cart.
I got some and kissed his cheek. “Momma loves you so much. You know that right?”
“I love you too, momma.”
I looked down into the cart and a jar of pickled eggs stared up at me. “How did that get there?” I asked suspiciously.
Jack grinned up at me, looking so much like Nikki that it wasn’t even funny…
Frank’s POV
“GRANDPA!”
I had barely got out of the car when my legs were attacked by a six year old mutant, also known as my grandson.
“Jack!” I scooped him up, giving him the hugest hug ever.
“Grandpa, I got a tooth brush! It’s greeeeen!” he said excitedly.
“Awesome.” I grinned and hugged him.
“Hey Daddy.” Bella came out, hugging me.
I set Jack down and he ran off and into the house.
“How’s Aiden?” Bella sighed.
“He’s not good, Bella… that’s why I’m here.”
Bella’s eyes widened. “Is he in the hospital?”
“No… but Gerard and I have to go on tour… there’s no way out of it.” I sighed. “Eric can’t handle this. He’s a wreck, even with Gerard and I there.”
Bella nodded sadly.
“So… I have a favor.” I sighed again. “I need help, Bella. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need it.”
“I know.” She said quietly.
“They can’t be alone. They’ll kill each other, themselves… them alone is a disaster now. They are literally at each other’s throats 24 hours of the day.”
“And?”
“I don’t know what I’m asking.” I ran my hand through my hair. “I… Can you check on them? Move in with them?” I gave a hollow laugh.
“Of course. Anything Aiden needs, I guess…” Bella said slowly. “Dad, you look sick.”
“I haven’t slept since Aiden got home.” I admitted. “I feel terrible. This is… I just… I don’t know what to do, Bella.”
She wrapped her arms around me in a hug.
“I can’t help him. I can’t help him and it kills me.” I said into her hair, hugging her back.
“It’s okay. He pulled himself out of this once before, and he will again.”
“He’s so much like Gerard it isn’t funny.” I let out a dry sob. “Gee and him say there’s no Gerard in Aiden but… there is. The good and the bad…” I shook my head. “Gerard’s fine, now… he went through addiction a few times. Aiden will be fine too, right?”
“Dad, he will… especially because he’s got you in him. And you’re fucking stubborn as hell and you always pull people out of this shit. He will too, just watch. He’s going to get himself out of this again. But just because he’s so stubborn, it won’t be until he is ready.”
I sighed and nodded. “But you’ll…”
“If they want to move in with me, I have no problem with it. And if not, I will check on them every day.”
“Thank you.” I said, feeling the first bit of relief I’d felt in days.
“It’s no problem.” She assured me, leading me into their rather messy house. I knew how it was though, with a six year old son. “Sorry its so dirty. You know it was clean… until 5 minutes after he woke up. Every day it seems to get worse and worse. I’ll be glad when he’s a teenager and does stuff.”
I laughed. “Honey, you never did chores and neither did Aiden. The only teenager who’s ever done anything to tidy my house was Eric.”
She sighed. “Great.”
“It’s all part of raising a child.” I grinned.
She laughed quietly and looked outside the window into the back yard where Jack was playing. “I love him so much, Dad… I never knew it was possible to love someone as much as I love him.”
“That’s part of raising a child too.” I said.
“Was it different for you? Since we’re adopted?” She asked. “I hate to ask but I just… I have to know.”
“Honey, it was never any different. I love you like you were mine, and I don’t care who your parents were. You always were and will always be my little girl. I love you just as much as I would have if I’d gotten someone pregnant with you.”
She nodded. “I just… had to know.”
Jack looked up and grinned, waving at us. I waved back, smiling and remembering when Aiden was as carefree as Jack. I missed it… I really fucking missed it.
Flashback
“Daddy, I is five tomorrow.” Aiden came into my room at six in the morning, a silly grin plastered to his face.
I blinked several times trying to wake myself up before scooping him into my arms and lying him next to me. “I know it, baby.” I said tiredly. “Why are you up?”
“I can’t sleep, Daddy! It’s gonna be here so quickly!” Aiden squealed.
I ruffled his dark messy hair and hugged him to me. “I know. You’re growing up so fast.”
“Soon I’ll be real old! Like nine! And then Bella will be like… really old! Like you!”
I laughed and kissed his cheek. “That’s right, honey.”
“When I grow up, Daddy, I wanna play the geek-tar like you.” He cuddled up to me and I could see his eyes drooping once again already. “And I wanna sing like Daddy too and I wanna marry somebody and has babies just like yous… I should be able to get married in, say, three years? Right, Dadd—.” He trailed off as his eyes closed and he fell asleep.
I stroked his cheek and watched him sleep until sleep took over me, too…
Frank’s POV
“I don’t know what else to do… We have to go on tour.” Gerard sighed, running his hands through his hair. “But leaving Eric and Aiden together… won’t work.”
“We can’t take them.” I sighed, wrapping my arms around Gerard from behind. He was sitting at our kitchen table and I was standing directly behind him. I kissed his cheek and sighed softly again. “Maybe if they’re alone together Aiden will get better. When you had problems, you were always so much better when it was only you and I in a room. Don’t you agree?”
“Yes but you’re the one who can get Aiden to eat, Frank. Not Eric.”
“I don’t know, Gee. Alright? I have no clue what to do! It isn’t like I… I planned this. I feel terrible about this… like it’s all of my fault.” I sank into the chair next to Gerard. “What did I do wrong, Gerard? What did I do wrong?”
“Frank!” Gerard gasped. “This is not your fault! You did nothing wrong! If anyone caused this it was me, leaving you and then randomly popping back into his life.”
“Don’t be stupid, Gee.” I sniffed. “I guess we just… go on tour and see what happens.”
“I’ll call Brian.” He said quietly. He loudly pushed his chair back, pulling out his cell phone, and walked outside, saying, “Brian, it’s Gerard. Not much, you…”
I stood as well, making my way into the living room. Aiden was asleep on the couch, where he’d been since last night when he had come home crying—yes, crying— because of his stomach. His blanket had fallen off of him and I covered him back up.
His eyes fluttered opened and fell on me. “Hey, Daddy.” He whispered sleepily.
“Hi, honey.” I smiled.
“I’m hungry.” He yawned, stretching.
“I’ll make you something and be right back.” I said, going towards the kitchen. I made him some cinnamon toast because it had been his favorite food when he was younger. When it was only he and I, for a while it was the only food he could make himself. I would lie in bed in the mornings and he would bring me some, shyly, and try to get me out of bed. It always worked.
When I came back in, he was sitting up and watching television. I handed him his toast and some orange juice and he began to eat. I went on upstairs to finish packing. Eric was standing in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror hard.
“What’s wrong, babe?” I asked.
He jumped and turned to look at me. “Aiden and I were… roughly around the same weight before he left… now he’s so skinny and I just… I mean… I don’t think I’m fat. At all. I mean, I know that I can lose some weight here and there but I’m not about to go anorexic… I just don’t understand.” He shook his head, looking back at himself. “I mean, does he think I’m fat? Or id it just his whole…. Mentality about himself?”
“He thinks you are gorgeous, Eric. You are.” I leaned in the doorway. “Ever since he met his birth parents he’s been very insecure… I think something happened to him on his stay with them… he’s never said anything, but I can just… I get the feeling. But no, it is his mentality about himself… he’s eating now though.”
“Thank god.” Eric sighed. “Frank, I… you can get him to eat, I can’t… How am I supposed to handle this?”
“I wish… I wish we weren’t leaving.” I scratched my head, trying to come up with something. “But… we have to.”
“I know.” Eric said and shook his head. “I’m going to go lay with him for a while.”
“Alright, hon.” I patted his back as he left, then went into my room to continue packing.
It didn’t take me long to get done, and after that I had absolutely nothing to do. I sat on the edge of my bed, well aware of how boring my life had become. I really had turned into an old man, a grandpa. I wasn’t even that old though. Men were still having babies at my age, not that I was 1) capable of that or, 2) wanting another child. I think two grown kids is enough for me to handle.
“I’m gonna go visit Bella!” I called, heading downstairs. No one even bothered to answer so I just left…
Bella’s POV
“BUT I DOES NOT WANT THAT ONE!”
“Jack, for goodness sake, it really does not matter!” I snapped, tugging at Jack’s hand.
“Momma, I am 6 and ¼ years old. I am able to pick MY OWN TOOTHBRUSH!”
“You want the pink toothbrush, goddamnit, you take the pink toothbrush! And don’t blame me when you turn gay because I TOLD YOU TO GET THE GREEN ONE!”
“Thank you.” Jack put the pink toothbrush into the cart and looped his fingers through the cart, walking along side it.
I sighed, pushing the cart towards the food.
“Mommy, I think I want that green toothbrush.” Jack said shyly, smiling adorably at me.
“Oh, alright. Go on and get it.” I turned and watch him run down the tooth aisle and he appeared seconds later, a neon green toothbrush in his hand. “Happy?”
“Yep.” He grinned.
I hoisted him up and put him in the front seat for kids, going on towards the food. “Guess who called momma this morning.”
“Nikki?”
“Well yeah but guess who else.”
“Who?”
“Grandpa Frankie.” I kissed his cheek. “He’s going to come see you.”
“Momma, that… that is good because I’m not sick anymore. Last time that he came I was sick.”
“I know it. He wants to see you before he goes away.”
“Where is he going?”
“Oh, I dunno. On tour. Where he sings.” I said, pulling some cookies off of the shelf and putting them in the cart.
Jack grabbed another bag of his favorite type of cookies and put it in the cart as well. We were a team when we shopped. He did a pretty good job, but every once in a while I would find a random tin of anchovies at the bottom of the cart or once even I found condoms. I was never sure how he managed to sneak random items in, but it was always hilarious.
“We need crackers, momma. When you was at work Nikki and I ate them all with the puppy.” Jack said, pointing his finger at the crackers on the aisle farthest from the cart.
I got some and kissed his cheek. “Momma loves you so much. You know that right?”
“I love you too, momma.”
I looked down into the cart and a jar of pickled eggs stared up at me. “How did that get there?” I asked suspiciously.
Jack grinned up at me, looking so much like Nikki that it wasn’t even funny…
Frank’s POV
“GRANDPA!”
I had barely got out of the car when my legs were attacked by a six year old mutant, also known as my grandson.
“Jack!” I scooped him up, giving him the hugest hug ever.
“Grandpa, I got a tooth brush! It’s greeeeen!” he said excitedly.
“Awesome.” I grinned and hugged him.
“Hey Daddy.” Bella came out, hugging me.
I set Jack down and he ran off and into the house.
“How’s Aiden?” Bella sighed.
“He’s not good, Bella… that’s why I’m here.”
Bella’s eyes widened. “Is he in the hospital?”
“No… but Gerard and I have to go on tour… there’s no way out of it.” I sighed. “Eric can’t handle this. He’s a wreck, even with Gerard and I there.”
Bella nodded sadly.
“So… I have a favor.” I sighed again. “I need help, Bella. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need it.”
“I know.” She said quietly.
“They can’t be alone. They’ll kill each other, themselves… them alone is a disaster now. They are literally at each other’s throats 24 hours of the day.”
“And?”
“I don’t know what I’m asking.” I ran my hand through my hair. “I… Can you check on them? Move in with them?” I gave a hollow laugh.
“Of course. Anything Aiden needs, I guess…” Bella said slowly. “Dad, you look sick.”
“I haven’t slept since Aiden got home.” I admitted. “I feel terrible. This is… I just… I don’t know what to do, Bella.”
She wrapped her arms around me in a hug.
“I can’t help him. I can’t help him and it kills me.” I said into her hair, hugging her back.
“It’s okay. He pulled himself out of this once before, and he will again.”
“He’s so much like Gerard it isn’t funny.” I let out a dry sob. “Gee and him say there’s no Gerard in Aiden but… there is. The good and the bad…” I shook my head. “Gerard’s fine, now… he went through addiction a few times. Aiden will be fine too, right?”
“Dad, he will… especially because he’s got you in him. And you’re fucking stubborn as hell and you always pull people out of this shit. He will too, just watch. He’s going to get himself out of this again. But just because he’s so stubborn, it won’t be until he is ready.”
I sighed and nodded. “But you’ll…”
“If they want to move in with me, I have no problem with it. And if not, I will check on them every day.”
“Thank you.” I said, feeling the first bit of relief I’d felt in days.
“It’s no problem.” She assured me, leading me into their rather messy house. I knew how it was though, with a six year old son. “Sorry its so dirty. You know it was clean… until 5 minutes after he woke up. Every day it seems to get worse and worse. I’ll be glad when he’s a teenager and does stuff.”
I laughed. “Honey, you never did chores and neither did Aiden. The only teenager who’s ever done anything to tidy my house was Eric.”
She sighed. “Great.”
“It’s all part of raising a child.” I grinned.
She laughed quietly and looked outside the window into the back yard where Jack was playing. “I love him so much, Dad… I never knew it was possible to love someone as much as I love him.”
“That’s part of raising a child too.” I said.
“Was it different for you? Since we’re adopted?” She asked. “I hate to ask but I just… I have to know.”
“Honey, it was never any different. I love you like you were mine, and I don’t care who your parents were. You always were and will always be my little girl. I love you just as much as I would have if I’d gotten someone pregnant with you.”
She nodded. “I just… had to know.”
Jack looked up and grinned, waving at us. I waved back, smiling and remembering when Aiden was as carefree as Jack. I missed it… I really fucking missed it.
Flashback
“Daddy, I is five tomorrow.” Aiden came into my room at six in the morning, a silly grin plastered to his face.
I blinked several times trying to wake myself up before scooping him into my arms and lying him next to me. “I know it, baby.” I said tiredly. “Why are you up?”
“I can’t sleep, Daddy! It’s gonna be here so quickly!” Aiden squealed.
I ruffled his dark messy hair and hugged him to me. “I know. You’re growing up so fast.”
“Soon I’ll be real old! Like nine! And then Bella will be like… really old! Like you!”
I laughed and kissed his cheek. “That’s right, honey.”
“When I grow up, Daddy, I wanna play the geek-tar like you.” He cuddled up to me and I could see his eyes drooping once again already. “And I wanna sing like Daddy too and I wanna marry somebody and has babies just like yous… I should be able to get married in, say, three years? Right, Dadd—.” He trailed off as his eyes closed and he fell asleep.
I stroked his cheek and watched him sleep until sleep took over me, too…