‹ Prequel: The Pros and Cons of Loving
The Pros and Cons of Growing Up
Part Thirty
Aiden’s POV
I was sitting at the table eating a slice of an orange when Eric tiredly stumbled into the kitchen, his dark hair going in every direction. He rubbed his eyes, scratched the back of his shoulder, and opened the fridge without even noticing I was there. I watched him, amused, as he opened the milk with his eyes half closed.
“Are you even awake?” I asked quietly, in case he was sleep walking or something.
He jumped, his eyes widening, and he faced me. “Yes. Why?”
“Because you seriously don’t look like it.” I answered, grinning.
“Shut your face.” He muttered, sticking out his tongue. He poured his milk and sat by me at the table. “Did you eat?” he yawned.
“Just this orange.” I shrugged. “There really isn’t anything else to eat anyway, though.”
“We can go to the store later.” He drank some of his milk, and looked straight at me. “Do you want to?”
I leaned against him, laying my head on his shoulder. “If you want to. We probably should. Dad is coming home today.”
“Alright, I’ll go get dressed and we’ll go.” He kissed my cheek after I saw up, and then headed back upstairs to change. I cleaned our dishes, put them in the dish drainer. By the time I was done, Eric was waiting in the doorway. He had on jeans and a red T-shirt and was holding the keys to our car in his hands.
“Ready.” I said, slipping into my vans. I slid my hand into his and followed him out of the house. It was cool outside and we both practically ran out to the car, both of us having forgotten jackets. Eric turned the heat on and rubbed his hands together, shivering.
“Shit.” He groaned, opening all of the small vents in the car. “This car takes forever to heat up. We should just get a new one.”
I reached in the back seat where he had a sweater and offered it to him.
He shook his head, saying, “You take it. You’ve got goosebumps. I’m fine.”
I pulled it on and bit my lip, looking outside. It looked pretty dreary out. It would probably snow. I hoped it did, because I always liked the snow. There’s something calming about it.
“You’re being too quiet. Is something wrong? You don’t have to go, I can get groceries alone.”
“No!” I said, too quickly. I coughed a bit. “No, I want to go. I was just looking o-outside.”
He was looking at me in shock, his eyebrow arched. “Okay. What at?”
“The sky. Look.” I pointed out of the windshield, my finger touching the glass. “I think it’s going to snow.”
“Yeah, I hate driving in the snow.” He muttered.
“I like the snow.” I protested. “I’ll drive home in it if it starts when we’re out.”
Eric nodded, put his seatbelt on, and pulled out of the driveway…
A Few Hours Later…
Eric’s POV
“You heard it yourselves, folks. We may have up to a foot of snow by this time tomorrow. I hope you went to the stores. If you will need anything, I would go get it now.” A man laughed.
A woman also laughed. “If you don’t go now you may not be able to get out the door.”
“Shoot me.” I groaned, grabbing for the remote.
“No!” Aiden yelped. I was sitting on the couch and he was lying on it, his head in my lap. “I want to see when the storm will get here.”
“They said it’d be here soon. That’s all they’re going to say for the next ten minutes, they’ll just reword it. Plus, this just means is I’ll have to drive to class in the sn—.” I was cut off as he sat up, kissing me gently.
“Then don’t go.” He said simply, and stood. “You can change it, they’re just going to repeat that in different words for the next ten minutes anyway.” With that, he walked towards the kitchen.
I sat, staring after him. “I married the most confusing man on the planet.” I finally muttered to myself, shaking my head and laughing.
“They’re supposed to be on their way soon, right?” Aiden called from the kitchen.
“Yeah, that’s what they said an hour ago!” I yelled back, going over to the door. The snow was already starting to fall pretty steadily, but it was only just sticking to the ground. “It’s sticking, honey!”
“I knooooooow!” Aiden sang, coming back into the living room. He plopped down on the couch, pulled a blanket over him, and made himself comfortable. “Come back and sit with me.”
I went back over to him, sitting on the floor next to him. He grabbed my hand, sitting up.
“No, come sit with me.”
“You can lie down.”
“I’m not even tired, really. Just cold.” He said, snuggling under the blanket. “You can fit up here if you want.”
I smiled, sliding under the blanket with him. We linked hands again and I felt calmer, being with him like this. There was no tension, we were simply sitting and watching the news and the snow falling outside. Our problems weren’t right in our face, Aiden had even eaten today.
“Eric?” he asked quietly, biting his lip. “I don’t want to wreck this but I feel like I need to talk to you about something.”
“Okay.” I nodded, looking him in the eye.
He took a deep breath. “I think I may need more help than I’m getting with this anorexia… I don’t want to go live at a hospital or anything… but I don’t want to live here.”
“What are you saying?” I asked, not understanding what he was saying.
“I think I would do better if I wasn’t here. And I think Dad would feel better too, if he didn’t have to worry with me every day. I’m saying I want to move out with you, Eric. I think that I need stability and with Dad and I having problems, I’m not going to get it here. Does that make sense?”
“Yes, honey, it makes sense… but this isn’t a decision you take lightly. The last time you moved out is what caused this.” I said gently, no accusations in my voice in the slightest.
“That’s because I wasn’t with you… I trust you to help me get over this. I trust dad too, but face it… this isn’t making him any healthier and it sure as hell isn’t making him feel any younger. They’re too old to worry about me day and night.”
“I-I don’t know if I can handle it on my own, my job isn’t enough for rent… Aiden, this is such short notice. I mean, your dad is in the hospital right this second!”
“We’ve been married well more than a year now. This isn’t short notice, we have to be independent sometime. To see if we can do this. What we have right now… yes, we’re in love and we’re married. But marriage is being out there, alone. Making decisions, supporting each other… all we do now is sleep with each other in the same bed at night. I want more than that. I want to do what my dads did when they got married! I want to be able to have sex on the fucking kitchen table if I want… I’m sick of the boundaries. When I was in New York… maybe I didn’t handle the freedom well. But most of it was so cool. Going to do stuff at two in the morning without having to write a note, I don’t know… I feel like we’re missing an important part of our lives and our relationship by staying here and it’s not healthy.”
I listened, silently, hearing him out. I was afraid to live alone with him, taking it to the next—and final—step. Alone, without adult supervision? I don’t even know if I’m mature enough to do that.
“Why are you so scared to be close to me?” Aiden whispered, looking down. “I don’t get it. I thought being married meant that we’d know everything and sometimes I still feel like I don’t you know…”
“Moving into another house won’t change what you want it to. It won’t make us live happily ever after. We’ll still fight, only they may be worse because your dads won’t be here to quiet us down.” I heard myself saying, though I didn’t even remember thinking those words.
“I’m sick! I’m sick and I need to do this!” Aiden yelled, standing. “I’m trying to do the mature thing here! I don’t want my dad to die worrying about me! I know we aren’t in fucking love anymore, okay? It’s a joke to my dignity to pretend we are! But I’ll be damned if I stay here, pretending, and he dies worrying about me! I’m moving out as soon as I can and if you don’t come, fine!”
With hat Aiden stormed upstairs, slamming the door shut.
I ran up after him, going in. “How can you say we aren’t in love? If we weren’t in love, don’t you think I would have left you by now? It’s not easy, dealing with you like this!” I shouted, angry.
“It’s fucking bullshit is what it is!” he shrieked. “This entire relationship has always been about…”
“About what? What was it about, Aiden? Do you care to tell me because I’d like to know what you think I wanted out of this?!” I yelled bitterly as he threw himself on the bed.
“You wanted a family.” He muttered.
I was silent for a few minutes and I felt tears fill my eyes. “Yeah, I did want a family… but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love you. It wasn’t as if you asked me out and I just fucking moved in and stole your limelight, okay? W-What are you accusing me of? Not loving you? Using you?”
He didn’t answer me, he just stared outside the window.
“I love you more than anything I have ever loved.” I whispered. “Contrary to popular belief, apparently, you are the most important thing to me in this world. I’m sorry I don’t handle you being sick well but I don’t want you to leave me… i-if we move out… whose to say you won’t get upset a-and come back here? Where would that leave me? With no money to pay a bunch of bills and rent on a dead end job trying to make it through college?”
“That wouldn’t happen.” Aiden choked out, pulling his legs to his chest.
“I’m scared! Everyone leaves me, Aiden! I can’t help it and I’m sorry!” Now I was fully crying. “Sometimes it’s hard to accept that we’re together and you aren’t fake! I feel like you getting sick is an attempt to further yourself from me!”
“I wish you would accept that we’re together, we’re real, and I’m right here. I only want to be close to you…” Aiden stood, walking to me. He pulled me close to him and I buried my head in his neck, sobbing helplessly.
Aiden's POV
“Eric, everything is going to be okay.” I sat down with him, on the cold floor, and rocked him back and forth trying to soothe him.
“I’m still scared.” He cried. “I don’t want it to end and I think, subconsciously, I’m trying to end it for that very reason.”
“Well your subconscious and I aren’t going to mesh well.” I teased, kissing his cheek. “Do you want to stay here or do you want to give us a shot in the real world?”
“Real world.” He gasped out through his tears, his arms tightening around my neck.
“It’s going to be okay.” I repeated, kissing his forehead. “I’m going to be right here and I’m going go get better and I’ll start college with you next year. And in a few years you’ll be working with kids and I’ll be a doctor. Maybe we’ll have out own kid by then and this will be a distant memory.”
He nodded and pulled away, wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry… God, I’m such a baby.” He groaned, shaking his head. “I haven’t grown up at all since I was fifteen years old.”
“It’s okay, I haven’t either.” I laughed, pulling him back onto my lap. “We’ll get through this.”
He rested his head against mine and nodded. “Yeah…”