Unbound

After her mother was safely out of earshot, Charlie finally released the tears she was holding back. She was still in the same position on her knees, wrapping her arms around her stomach as violent sobs wracked her body. “Typical Charlie.” She thought miserably. “Finally get the courage to stand up for yourself and you break down.”

Charlie finally stood up from the floor after a few minutes wiping her eyes. She walked into the bathroom and glanced at her reflection in the wide mirror. Her green eyes were red from crying and what was left of her eyeliner was running down her cheeks. She bent down low to the sink basin and splashed cold water on her face. Charlie flinched a little as she pressed one of the white hotel towels against the tender spot on her face drying it. She tossed the towel aside on the countertop and placed her hands on either side of the sink before looking back in the mirror at her reflection.

“Coward.” Charlie whispered to her reflection.

Looking at the clock on the counter to her left, she saw that she still had a half hour left until Gerard was supposed to take her to dinner. She decided a shower was in order and turned around to run the water as she started to discard the t-shirt and jeans she wearing on the floor. Not bothering to even turn up the temperature of the freezing cold water, she stepped in and stood under the showerhead.

Charlie shut the water off a little later after washing her hair and body and stepped out of the shower pulling a towel around her as she went. It wasn’t until after she had finished drying off that she realized she would have to go into the bedroom area where her mother was for some clothes. Groaning loudly, she walked out of the bathroom and to the bedroom.

“What do you want?” Lisa spat as Charlie walked in.

“Clothes.” Charlie said quietly, not looking at Lisa as she went to her bag.

“Whatever.” Lisa said rolling her eyes as she went back to the television program she was watching.

Charlie dug around in her suitcase for undergarments and finally pulled out a pair of charcoal colored skinny jeans, a white fitted t-shirt, and a red vest top. She left the room quickly and dressed in the bathroom. The jeans she pulled on a few minutes later used to fit snugly around her but now hung loosely around her waist. She sighed and pulled the belt from the jeans she was wearing earlier off the old jeans and looped it around the new pair. Charlie had just finished re-applying her cover-up and eyeliner when she heard someone knock on the front door.

“Punctual guy this one.” She said to herself as she looked at the clock and saw it was exactly seven o’clock.

She tied her still damp hair up into a ponytail as she walked out of the bathroom and slipped on her flats before opening the door. And there he was. Leaning casually against the doorframe sporting that to die for smirk. He was wearing another pair of tight black jeans, Converse sneakers, and a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

“Hi.” Gerard said.

“H-hi.” Charlie stammered, snapping her eyes back to his.

“Ready to go?”

“Mhmm.” She nodded before grabbing her purse and walking out of the room, shutting the door behind her.
“My phone?” She asked as they walked down the hall to the elevators.

“Oh no,” He said smirking as he pressed the down arrow for the elevator. “You don’t get that back until the end of the night.”

“But why?” She asked. “I’m out with you, that was the deal. Now give it back.

“Technically you’re not out with me.” He said as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. “We haven’t even left the hotel yet.”

“That doesn’t matter I still left my hotel room with you.” She said, stepping onto the elevator with him.

“How do I know that if I give it back you won’t turn around and go back to your room with it?” He asked.

“You don’t.” She said simply as the elevator doors closed. “But I’m already on the elevator.”

“I guess that’s true.” He shrugged as he pulled her phone from his back pocket. “But you better not take off when the elevator doors open.”

“I won’t.” Charlie grumbled as the elevator started downward.

“Oh and your mom called.” He said smirking. “About fifteen times.”

“Yeah.” She sighed. “I know.”

“Control freak much?” He asked laughing.

“You have no idea.” She said as the elevator doors opened and the walked off.

“So where to?” Gerard asked as they stepped outside the doors of the hotel.

“Huh?” Charlie asked.

“Where do you want to eat?” He laughed as they walked down the sidewalk.

“You want me to pick?”

“Well yeah.” He said rolling his eyes. “You do still eat don’t you?”

“Yes I eat.” She grumbled.

“So where?”

“Can we go to McDonald’s?” She asked.

“Really?” He laughed as they continued walking down the sidewalk. “You want to eat fast food? Is that even allowed?”

“I’ve never eaten there.” She said. “I wanted to see what all of the fuss was about.”

“Wait, hold up.” He said halting in the middle of the sidewalk. “You’ve never had McDonald’s food?”

“No, but I’m sure loads of other people-”

“Uh-uh see now that’s just un-American.” He said shaking his head as he grabbed her hand and led her down the sidewalk towards the yellow neon M he spotted a ways down the street.

“I can walk on my own you know.” Charlie said as she allowed herself to be pulled by the hand down the sidewalk.

“Not fast enough.” He smiled as he pulled her along and through the doors of the restaurant.

“What is that?” She asked, wrinkling her nose as the strong smell hit her upon walking through the doors.

“That,” He said inhaling deeply and sighing. “Is the smell of grease. It’s wonderful isn’t it?”

“That’s not quite the terminology I’d use.” She said wincing.

“Hi welcome to McDonald’s,” The pleasant worker said behind the register. “Can I take your order?”

“Yeah, she’ll have a Big Mac a large fry and a coke.” Gerard said answering for Charlie. “And I’ll have… you know I’ll have the same.”

“Would you like to super size that order for only twenty cents more?” The worker asked as she typed the order in.

“No that’s alright.” He said.

“Alright, that’ll be right up.” She said.

“Thanks.” Gerard said as he and Charlie moved aside.

“Why didn’t you want to super size it?” Charlie asked as she watched the workers in the back preparing the food.

“You ever see the movie Super Size Me?” He asked.

“No.”

“How about the phrase ‘too much of a good thing?’”

“Oh.” She said.

“Thank you for coming to McDonald’s.” A second worker said as he placed a tray of food on the counter near Gerard.

“Thanks.” Gerard said, picking up the tray and leading Charlie to an open table.”

“Is this safe to eat?” Charlie asked, eyeing the Big Mac in front of her a minute later.

“What do you mean, of course it’s safe.” Gerard said taking a bite of his own sandwich. “I grew up on this stuff and look how I turned out.”

“That’s what I meant.” She said.

“Oooh.” He said wincing. “That was harsh Charlie.”

Charlie smirked at him then looked back down at the sandwich.

“Oh just eat it.” Gerard said rolling his eyes.

Charlie picked up the sandwich and closed her eyes as she took a bite.

“And?” Gerard asked as he watched in amusement at her grimace.

“It’s not…” She said swallowing. “…that bad.”

“Congratulations, you are no longer a McDonald’s virgin.” He laughed, popping a french fry in is mouth.

“So why didn’t you tell me?” Charlie asked sipping her coke a little later.

“Tell you what?”

“What you do for a living.” She clarified.

“Ah so I’ve been discovered have I?” He asked shaking his head.

“Yes, Jo Googled you.”

“She Googled me?” He asked exploding into laughter.

“Yes and you band.” She said smiling. “Oh come on, don’t tell me you’ve never Googled yourself.”

“I can safely say that I have not.” He said still laughing. “But I can’t say the same about Mikey.”

“Mikey?”

“My brother.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah Frank dared him to one night.” He said grinning. “The poor guy probably hasn’t slept the same since.”

“That bad huh?”

“Oh yes.” He smiled. “Let’s just say we have some very…erm…devoted fans.”

“So what’s it like being onstage?” Charlie asked.

“What do you mean, aren’t you onstage all the time too?”

“It’s different with me.” She said. “I’m being constantly judged when I’m onstage. I can’t make mistakes. I have to be perfect. You though, you’re different. You’re free to do whatever the hell you want onstage and people wouldn’t care because they’re there to see you.”

“I’ve never thought of it that way.” He said slowly. “I guess it’s the thrill most of the time. Of not knowing what’s going to happen when I’m out there with the guys. And what could happen.”

“Must be exhilarating.”

“It is.” He said. “…so why do you do it?”
“Do what?” She asked.

“Why do you compete, if that’s what you call it, if you don’t like it?”

“Because I have to.”

“Well that doesn’t seem very fair.” He said sitting back in his chair. “Shouldn’t you like what you do?”

“Do you like what you do?”

“Of course.” He said. “That’s why I do it.”

“Well some of us just aren’t that lucky.” She said.

“That’s not a very good answer.” He said, sipping his coke.

“It gets me through life and I guess that’s what counts.”

“I don’t understand it.” He said shaking his head. “How can you live like this? Doing what you hate but still doing it. Haven’t you ever wanted something more? Dreamed of doing something else?”

“Of course I have.” Charlie said. “Hasn’t everyone? Sure. If I could…if I had the choice…”

“So why don’t you?” He asked. “What’s holding you back?”

“Reality.” She said smiling sadly before getting up from the table to throw away her trash.

“Hang on a minute.” He said jumping up from the table with his trash to follow her.

Charlie walked to the door, dumping her wrappers on the way out before heading back outside into the strangely cool August night air.

“Charlie wait up!” Gerard called from behind her as she walked down the sidewalk.

“Thanks for dinner and everything Gerard,” She said as she heard him catch up to her. “but I have to go.”

“Hang on, will you just talk to me?” He asked walking beside her down the sidewalk.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She said as she continued walking. “I came out with you to get my phone, I had dinner and now I‘m going back. You’ll never have to deal with me or my problems ever again. Trust me. I’m doing you a favor.”

“Well don’t do me any favors.” He said. “What is with you?”

“Me?” She asked halting on the sidewalk. “What about you?”

“What about me?” He asked. “And stop changing the subject.”

“Who’s changing the subject?” She said. “I’m trying to go on with my life and you’re just here making that extremely hard for me telling me I’m doing it wrong.”

“That’s because it is wrong!” He exclaimed.

The two of them were now attracting a large number of questioning stares from other people walking on either side of the street. Gerard sighed and pulled Charlie by the hand into the nearest alleyway.

“Hey!” Charlie exclaimed as he pulled her. “What are you doing? Let me go!”

“Not until I get an answer from you.” He said. “And a truthful one this time.”

“I’ve told you everything already.” She said leaning against the brick wall of the alleyway. “What do you wan with me?”

“You never answered me.” He said. “If you hate what you do so much, why don’t you just quit?”

“Some of us just don’t have that kind of luxury Gerard.” She said. “We have to do things we don’t like to please others.”

“Others?” He questioned. “You should be able to do whatever you want, regardless of what others think. Why are you trying so hard? Is it worth destroying yourself to please these others? Or is there really only one person you’re trying to please?”

“You don’t understand.” Charlie said as tears started forming in her eyes.

“Then help me to!” He shouted.

“You have no idea what it’s like do you?!” She shouted as tears started flowing down her face. “You’ve never been under the pressure I’ve had to live with my whole life. You’ve never lived with a parent who thinks nothing you ever do is good enough. Who criticizes everything about you. Who constantly reminds you that you were a mistake and that it’s your fault that their live was ruined. Who hits you when you try to stand up for yourself. Who-”

“Wait.” Gerard said placing his hand over her mouth to silence her. “Your mother hit you?”

The tears on her face had already dampened her cover up and she rubbed the rest of it off with the back of her hand to reveal the purple bruises on her cheek.

“My God.” He whispered, turning her face to the side to get a better look at the bruises. “She did this to you?”

Charlie nodded and looked down at the dirty black asphalt ground pitifully.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“Like who?” She asked, not looking up to meet his gaze.

“Other family, friends, anyone.” He said.

“I have no other family.” She said. “Jo is my only friend and I met her the same day I met you.”

“Does she know about this?” He asked gesturing to the side of her face.

“No. I never told her.” Charlie answered. “But she knows that there’s something wrong.”

“So you know it.” He said. “You know there’s something wrong with how you’re living.”

“Of course I do.” She said looking back up at him. “But there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Says who?”

“Gerard I have to go.” She said trying to slip past him to go to the sidewalk.

“No, I told you I’m not letting you go until you answer me.” He said grabbing her by the tops of the arms and holding her back against the brick wall of the alleyway.

“So help me Gerard I’ll scream rape if you don’t let me go.” Charlie said, but Gerard knew it was an empty threat.

“No you won’t.” He said, keeping a firm grip around her arms.

“You’re hurting me.”

“No I’m not.”

“And how would you-” Charlie started but was interrupted by a large bang in the alleyway from a door being thrown open, followed by a man and a giggling woman stumbling out into the alley.

Gerard was momentarily distracted and Charlie used this as her chance to wriggle out of his grip and sprint out the alleyway.

“No! Charlie!” Gerard shouted, running after her. But by the time he made it out behind her it was too late. She had already gotten in a cab and it was now speeding away from the curb.

Charlie looked behind her in the back window to see Gerard standing on the edge of the curb. “I’m sorry.” She mouthed to him before turning in her seat. “I’m sorry.” She whispered, looking at her folded hands in her lap. “But I have to go back.”