You've Got So Much Love in You

“Kristy! Wait!” Hayley yelled as I went the park bench just outside the grounds of the rest stop.

I sat down, not responding to her, yet she kept coming towards me. Why did she have to do this to me? Why couldn't she just let go and leave me to mend my broken heart alone?!

“Don't go, please don't go...” she begged once more.

“I have no choice.”

“Yes you do! You're leaving, and you're not even giving me a reason why!” she shouted and slammed her fists onto the wooden picnic table.

“I have my reasons for leaving.”

“Tell me why!”

“I can't do that. Sorry.”

“You apology means nothing to me if you're gonna act this way!” she looked at me, and her hazel eyes glistened with tears.

“Look, the bus is getting ready to leave. I'll tell you right now. I'm in love with you, have been, always will. THERE, now you know why I'm leaving. I can't take the pain anymore! I can't take being heart broken over you, while you don't even know it! So just go! Go break someone else's heart! Stop breaking mine! I'm dead inside because of you! And it won't be long before I'm dead on the outside!” I finally told her how I felt, and it was perfect timing. She couldn't respond. Josh called her to the bus. She just walked off, her mouth agape.

I texted Zac later that night. Our conversation went like this:

Hey Zac...I told her how I felt....

What'd she say!?

Nothing. I didn't give her a chance to reply.

Where are you?

Alone. In a hotel. I don't wanna live anymore, Zac...

I hope you know Hayley saw that text. She flipped.

ZAC! You're supposed to be on my side.

Zac is on your side. Don't kill yourself...

Who is this? Who am I talking to now?

The one you hate. The one you pushed away.

It's too late now. It's over with. I already took the pills.

The text conversation ended with that. My phone began ringing non-stop. I had about fifty voice mails, all of which from Hayley, telling me she'd find me and make it okay. I didn't happen to tell her I was standing atop a 15 story building, about to jump. Just as I was about to step off the ledge, her voice screamed my name.

“KRISTY!” she screamed, and I heard her start bawling. I turned my head around, not moving my feet from the ledge, to see her on her knees, with her head in her hands, crying her amazing hazel eyes out.

I wanted so badly to just walk off that ledge and end the pain, but as I turned back around, I was pulled backwards from the ledge, and into the most comforting embrace. I didn't wrap my arms back around her, for fear she would think I was trying to make a move. She started shaking as she held me so tight that I couldn't move.

“W-why?! Why!? How could you do this?” she screamed, pointing to the ledge as she let go.

“I wanted to go before the pills took effect,” I said simply, acting as though it was not a big deal. After all, she didn't care.

“What pills?!” she sobbed and looked at me, directly in the eyes. I swear, I would've died right then and there if I could die by heart break.

“I took some pills. It'll be over soon enough.”

“What will be over?!”

I think she was avoiding the fact that I was gonna die. “My life. My misery. My heart break. My pain. Everything.”

“N-no! You're not gonna leave me!” she screamed so loud the birds on the roof flew away.

“I can't leave you when we were never together to begin with, Hayley. Go be happy with Josh. Leave me to die in misery, mkay?” my voice sounded so cold. I wouldn't want my last words to her to be cold, “I love you, Hayley. I always will. Don't forget to remember me.”

“I won't have to remember you because you're not gonna die!” she screamed, and her voice sounded so full of sorrow.

“I'll miss you.”

“No! You won't! You're not gonna die! Not like this!”

“Mmhmm..bye Hayley..” I mumbled quietly as I fell down to my knees, then to my back, laying on the ground, in the deepest sleep possible.

**Zac's P.O.V.””

Both me and Jeremy stormed out the roof top door, to see Hayley, sitting next to Kristy, crying her eyes out as she rest her head on Kristy's chest. We both ran over to her, and Jeremy, checked her pulse.

“She's still breathing, Hayley,” he said in a relieved voice.

“Then wake her up! Wake her up!” Hayley screamed. She was so childish at times, but now, this was because she was hurting.

“We can't Hayley...she won't wake up without a doctor's help...” I tried to explain in the simplest terms I could manage.

“I need her to wake up! I need to tell her something!”

“What is it?” Jeremy asked before I got the chance.

“I need to tell her I'm sorry!” she shouted.

My face fell. Kristy would never, ever be okay again. She just spilled her guts to Hayley, only to find out Hayley will never love her back.

“Hayley, this may not be the time to ask this, but do you love her the way she loves you?” I asked and Hayley's eyes widened.

“I don't know. I don't know who I love...” she spoke quietly, trying to stop crying, as Jeremy tried to get Kristy conscious.

“You need to figure it out. The more you let her feel this way, without telling her anything, the more she's gonna wanna do this again, IF she makes it through this time,” I said and regretted it right after I said it, seeing the look in Hayley's eyes.

“IF she makes it?! I thought Jeremy said she was still breathing!”

“She is breathing, Hayley. For now,” Jeremy said and sighed, shaking his head.

“She can't die on me!” Hayley cried once more.

“Hayley, she loves you, and she's gonna love you when she's gone too,” I tried to calm her down.

“Stop saying she's gone! She's still breathing! She's just..sleeping!” Hayley repeated herself, trying to make herself believe it was true, before finally realizing, she wasn't asleep, but possibly in a coma.

“The ambulance is here,” Jeremy said and helped me pick Kristy up, and carry her to the ambulance waiting downstairs, Hayley followed right behind us.

“Can I go with her?” Hayley asked anxiously as they put the stretcher into the ambulance.

“Hayley, it's best you stay here,” Josh said and put his hand on his shoulder. I was beginning to hate my own brother. He showed up at all the wrong times, and he was tearing Hayley and Kristy apart.

“Josh! Leave her alone! You're tearing them apart! And you know you're doing it on purpose! They were meant for each other and you know it! You took away the only person that mattered in Kristy's life, which is why she's lying in that ambulance, probably dead!” I exploded. My big brother was such an asshole!

“D-dead?” Hayley spoke as she pulled away from Josh, inching towards me.

“Yes! DEAD, Hayley! DEAD. She might be DEAD because of YOUR stupidity, and Josh's selfishness! YOU BOTH MAKE ME SICK!” I screamed so loud I could've woken the dead, and stormed off in anger.

**Jeremy's P.O.V.””

“You know, he's right about every word,” I said and shook my head as Zac walked away.

“Jeremy...” Hayley pleaded, trying to get me to comfort her.

“No, Hayley. No. You have to fix this. Make it right. Stop being so stupid. You're immature, yes, but that doesn't make up for this stupidity which could've cost someone their life,” I said coldly.

“I-I know...” she stuttered.

“Then go to that damn hospital and tell her how you feel! The longer you wait, the more heart broken she gets, and that means the more she wants to die.”

“I don't know how I feel...” Hayley mumbled quietly.

“YES. You do! You just want to be straight. There's no harm in being bisexual, especially when you've got someone like her, who would literally, DIE for you!”I screamed and Josh looked at me, the hate was visible in his eyes, “Find yourself a new bassist, and drummer. Zac and I quit!” I finally stormed off, leaving Hayley and Josh to be their idiotic selves.