You've Got So Much Love in You

"Kristy?" she called out once again. I could sense her getting closer to me, and it made the hairs on the back of my neck prick up. Running the sand through my fingers, I kept my head down, my eyes glued to the water splashing onto the shore and then slowly drifting back out again. I had thought she left, but I was entirely wrong. She was right next to me now, and I wanted to be as far away from her as possible.

"We need to talk," she said simply. I snorted, trying to fight a laugh.

"You said all that was needed to say. Can't you leave me alone now? Or did you wanna come here and you know, just lie to me again like you did for the whole time we were together? Fucking liar," I let out a soft laugh, shaking my head. How is it the one person you trust is the one person that betrays that trust?

"No, no, Krist. Listen to me-" she started.

"No! I've done a whole lot of listening to you, giving you second chances and being there. And what have you done? All you've done since we've been together is hurt me. So you know what? There's NO more chances. Yeah, it'll hurt like hell, but you know what? I know how to make that pain go away so I'm good. So what are you wasting your time for? Go be with fucking Chad. I don't give a damn anymore," I amazed myself, at how strong I sounded, but how weak I felt. I just wanted her to see what the hell she was doing to me, but I didn't want to sound harsh.

"You don't mean that," she responded quietly. I shook my head.

"If this is the damn person you are now Hayley, then yes, I mean it. Ever since you've been hanging out with Chad, you fucking changed, okay? You're most definitely not the person I fell in love with and you're not he person who claims fell in love with me. So why don't you go 'head and toss the ring down the fucking drain like you did with our relationship?"

"Krist, don't do this. Don't do something you know you'll regret later."

"You can't regret things when you're dead," I smirked. She put her head down, releasing my gaze.

"You know you can't ever come back, right?"

"Yep, that's the point."

"But what if I need you? What if we really were supposed to be together?" she asked, tracing circles in the sand.

"Then God can put you with someone else because our relationship is gone, it's out the fucking window because you went and changed. I won't miss you at all, I promise you that. I'll miss the person I fucking thought you were," I sighed, laying myself back down in the sand. I had a feeling I would be here for awhile so I might as well get comfortable. I didn't know if we were getting back together, but my God, I hoped we were. I hated the thought of her in someone Else's arms.

"You mean you'd never be with me, ever again?"

"Not unless by some miracle on Earth that you change back to the girl I met, you know, the one I fell for," I shifted my gaze to the sky, seeing the stars was calming me. Maybe I could have a civil conversation with her now.

"Oh..."

"Yeah, exactly," I dug my hands into the sand, trying to stop shaking and get control of myself.

"Hey Krist, have you ever heard that song I sang for a demo back in 2004? You know, the one called Adore..." she muttered. I mumbled a no.

"Well it's about how you love someone and they're the one you adore and how they'll be the one..."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I found the one I adore," she smiled. Sometimes I really didn't get this chick.

"Yeah? He's probably waiting for you so why don't you leave me alone? Thanks," I said, trying to keep my anger from flaring up again. I knew this wasn't the time to have a emotional break down.

Hayley didn't give a response to my statement, rather she scooted closer to me.

"Get off me," I choked out. Having her actually cuddling close to me, made it that much harder to reject her.

She didn't listen; she just wrapped her arms around my waist, tightly. I tried to shake them off, but she wouldn't budge. I was stuck and I despised it.

"Hayley let go of me," I tried, but all I heard was a muffled no.

I tried to squirm out of her grasp, but I failed miserably. Maybe I didn't want to leave her arms, maybe I wanted to have her hold me, just one last time.

I eventually fell asleep, and so did she, only a few minutes before me. I heard the familiar rhythm of her steady breathing, which caused me to fall asleep.

♥♥♥♥♥♥

I awoke the next morning, to Hayley still asleep. This was it, now was the time I had to go. Sighing, I released myself from her grip. She rolled over, huddling herself and curling up into a small, helpless ball.

"I love you," I whispered softly before walking back to my car in the parking lot. I figured I could go see Zac and confide in him since the one person I trusted, or thought I could trust was stepping out on me.

Halfway to Zacs, I got a text from none other than, Hayley.

come home... we need to talk about this.

I groaned before texting her back.

nothing to talk about. leave me the hell alone.

I sighed, looking up at the road. I could see a million different colors going in a million different directions, all in a sudden blur. It was then that it dawned on me: I was never really supposed to be with her. She was meant for someone else and that was Chad. The sad part? I was still madly in love with her.

Honk.

"I'm going you fucking tard!" I yelled to no one in particular. I knew no one could hear me because I had music blaring. I quickly pressed my foot on the gas.

10 boring and event-less minutes later, I was at Zacs. I could see him out front, getting out of Josh's car. He cocked his head upon seeing me get out, before walking over to me.

"Krist, you're a mess. What happened?"

"Long story," I responded quietly. My head was pounding from not getting much sleep or eating anything.

"I've got time. Let's go for a drive, alright?" he gave me a small smile before gesturing me towards the passenger seat. I nodded, climbing in as he situated himself in the drivers seat and began pulling out of his neighborhood.

"Hayley is with Chad. He texted her last night and I saw it," I sighed, throwing my head back into the seat.

"Whoa whoa whoa! She's with Chad, after only being engaged to you for what, 2 days!?" he asked, seemingly bewildered by the whole situation. I nodded. I didn't feel like talking much; there wasn't anything for me to say.

"We're gonna have a chat with Hayley, kay?" he said, pulling into a parking lot and turning around. Oh shit.

"No Zac. It's her life; she made up her mind," I tried. He just shook his head and continued in the direction of the one place I didn't want to go.

"We're going whether you like it or not," he said viciously. I shut my mouth and leaned back in the seat, drifting into a light sleep the whole car ride.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Zac walked inside the apartment and I decided to stay behind... for awhile that is. I fiddled with the radio until I finally got bored enough to go inside. I could hear shouting when I opened the garage door and walked into the kitchen. I saw Hayley, covered by a sheet and Chad, also covered by a sheet.

"What the fu-"

Zac stopped me before I got any further.

"Krist, keep your cool. Calm down," he said knowing what I assumed.

Hayley's eyes found mine and held my gaze. I shook my head, breaking the trance. Chad was beside me, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Calm down, kid. It's not what you think," he said as I roughly shrugged his hand off.

"Don't fucking touch me! And you," I said, nodding to Hayley, "Stay the fuck away from me! I hate you!"

I made my exit quickly and made absolutely sure not to let her see me cry. There was no way in hell she'd see me show weakness around her, ever again. Zac followed soon after, finding me sitting on the curb with my head in my hands.

"Krist, I'm so sorry... She's never been like this before and you know that..."

"Just shut up! I don't wanna hear about how you people think you're so fucking sorry! You don't know what it feels like to walk in the place you fucking called home to find that your fucking ex fiance was fucking some guy!" I screamed. My throat was tightening up as the words spilled out of my mouth.

Hayley soon approached. She was now fully clothed and Chad was behind her. I got up, moving further away.

"I told you to stay the fuck away from me, damn it!" I yelled. The neighbors soon came out, asking if everything was alright.

"It's fine. I was just leaving," I gritted my teeth as I turned and walked away.

"Krist wait!" Hayley yelled. I could hear her feet trailing behind me. Why can't she fucking leave me alone?!

Without warning, she was on my back again. I fucking hated it when she did this shit to me.

"Get the fuck off me!" I screamed. Both Chad and Josh were trying to get her off my back but she had a death grip.

"Just let me talk to you for a minute, okay?" she whispered in my ear as she dropped off my back.

"No. I don't give a damn what you have to say. You mean nothing to me anymore."

That was one of the biggest lies I've ever told.

"Kristy, you need to calm down," Chad broke in. I moved threateningly close to him.

"If you don't shut your fucking mouth, I'll kick your fucking ass. You got everything that meant something to me, you got my fucking fiance. Now, why don't you do us both a favor and take away the rest of the shit that I actually give a damn about? You can take my fucking best friend too!"

That was all it took to set me off; him trying to think he could tell me what to do.

"I didn't take her away; she came to me because she wanted me."

"Fuck you, alright? Go fuck yourself!" I screamed. I could feel my throat getting scratchy.

"I don't have to; I have Hayley for that."

That really set me off. He was talking about fucking my ex fiance.

"Now you really lost your innocence Hayley, you fucking did it by choice. You wanted it and you got it. You make me fucking sick!"

That was it; the last words I said to her before walking away from her.