You've Got So Much Love in You

We arrived at my house after a 20 minute car ride of silence, other than Hinder's new song, "Without You" blaring from the speakers.

"Wow Kristy, your house is huge," Hayley looked up and down. I let out a quiet laugh.

"Saving is key, Hayley. And plus, well... I got a cut of my grammas life insurance... around one hundred thousand."

I sighed, taking my keys from Zac and unlocking the door. I led Hayley and Zac inside. Hayley gasped at how extravagant my house was.

The ceilings were vaulted, the walls painted a deep red. All the furniture was black. The only thing not black was the TV mounted to the wall.

If you walked downstairs into the basement you would find a bathroom and a "studio". The studio had recording equipment and instruments set up, along with a TV and Wii. You always gotta have a Wii to play.

If you took the stairs up to the bedrooms, you'd find my room, which was blue and black. The bed took up a bit of space, being pillow top. Otherwise, it was a normal bedroom. The spare rooms had a simple twin bed and dresser, done in either lime green and blue or electric blue and a neon orange.

I smiled slightly, leading Hayley into the kitchen. It was just like the kitchen in our old apartment, just a little bigger.

"Nachos?" I asked pulling out the nacho cheese and a bowl. I filled it halfway and put it in the microwave.

"I'm not hungry," she muttered situating herself on a stool.

"You're eating," I said. I was being rather forceful, yes, but it was the only way to get her to open up to me.

"What's with you?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"I know you well enough to know you won't open up to me unless I make you. You never talk to someone unless you trust them."

"You're the same way," she retorted. Her eyes were glued to her shoes.

"This isn't about me and it never was, alright?"

"Okay..."

"Shit!" Zac cursed. I guessed he was playing Wii and losing, like usual.

"You know how bad it hurt to watch you walk away?" she mumbled, looking up to meet my gaze.

"How bad do you think it hurt to walk in on you with Chad? You, having sex with him after one day. You gave him your innocence," I snapped back. I didn't mean to get angry with her but it was just... frustrating.

"I know... I regret it..."

"You can't take it back. The past is gone and it won't come back."

"I can't get any of my past back?" her voice was betraying her. It was shaky and weary.

"No, you can't."

"Not even the part where you were in love with me and I was truly happy?"

I could feel a lump forming in my throat. I knew I was still in love with her and I knew I couldn't turn her away when she was in need. I continued stirring the nacho cheese and trying to avoid answering her.

"Krist, answer me... please..."

"I don't know, alright?! You cheated on me not once, but twice. God only knows what else you lied to me about..."

"I didn't do it just to hurt you. I was scared, okay? I never felt that way before and it scared me that I was getting those feelings from a girl. I didn't know how to handle it..."

Zac bounced in, "Anyone up for some Guitar Hero, you love birds?"

I shot him a warning glare. He continued on.

"You know, I'm so glad you two are talking things out. Everyone else around you guys knows you're meant for each other. You two are so blind!" he grinned.

"I'll be back," I mumbled, excusing myself to my room. I grabbed a box from under the bed. It had all the memories from Hayley and I's relationship in it. I pulled out the photo booth pictures and stared at them longingly.

One shot of Hayley and I holding each other. Another of Hayley kissing my cheek. Another of us making funny faces at the camera and the final one, the last shot, of us kissing and smiling.

I set those back in the box and pulled out another picture. It was of us laying in her bunk when we first got together. She had her camera and wouldn't stop taking pictures. Setting those back down, I heard something drop in the box.

My head shot up to see Hayley standing there. She had dropped the engagement ring in the box.

"Since you said I can't get any of my past back, you might as well add that in there," her voice was shaky, as though she was fighting back tears.

That was it; I couldn't hold back tears any longer. Apparently, neither could she. She sat next to me, crying slightly.

"When I said I missed us, I meant I missed that. Look at both of us, we were smiling, we were happy, Krist. Everyone wants that, they wanna find someone that makes them happy. We had that... and I messed it up..."

I pulled the ring out of the box and held it between my thumb and index finger. It was only a ring, but it meant so much. It was my promise to love her forever and I'll be damned if I ever break that promise. Hayley sighed, holding her head in her hands.

"We'll never get a love like that again, you know that?" she said sadly.

"Yeah we will..." I responded. I knew what I was doing but I was still unsure of the idea.

"No Krist, there's only one person who is really meant for you and it never changes. That's why they say your first love never goes away. It means your first real love never goes away."

She obviously wasn't catching on. I looked up, finding her gaze. Her eyes were pained and worried.

"You back together yet?!" Zac asked in a rather annoyed tone at the door.

"Go away!" I shooed him off. I wanted to be alone with her right now. He stamped his foot and ran off down the stairs.

"I agree with you; your first love doesn't ever fade away," I sighed, setting the box off my lap and onto the floor. The engagement ring was still in my hand.

"I'm gonna uh... go home..." she mumbled. This was my last chance to stop being a chicken and tell her I wanted her back.

"No! Don't leave..."

"This isn't what I asked for, Krist. I didn't even know I would run into you today. I'm sorry if it brought back any old hurt or memories but I'm leaving..." she sat up, heading for the door. I stopped her, grabbing her shoulder.

She turned around, facing me. Our faces were only centimeters apart. It all worked out like a cliche movie scene, her lips finding mine. I snaked my arms around her waist and held her as we pulled away. Her head was rested on my chest.

"Still wanna leave?" I laughed quietly.

"No...I don't ever wanna move..."

I smiled, taking in the scene. She was in my arms again. For the first time, I noticed how perfectly she fit in my arms. Breaking my train of thought, she pulled away.

"Zac..." she mumbled. I looked down at her.

"Smile," I said simply.

"I-I can't..." she sighed, rubbing her eyes.

"Hayley, who is your first love?"

"You."