You've Got So Much Love in You

I didn't respond to Hayley. I didn't want to. She told me to call her when I was sober and I didn't know what had happened. This was all too overwhelming.

"Kristy? Can you talk?"

Truthfully, I didn't know if I could talk. I hadn't tried.

I just shrugged.

"Are you mad at me?"

I shook my head no.

"Try to talk," she pleaded.

"H-hayley?"

My voice was squeaky and high, but raspy. I guess not talking for awhile causes that.

I could see the tears flooding in her eyes. It made me weak. I wanted to hold her, to comfort her. Could I?

"Krist, I've missed you so much. I thought I lost you!"

"H-hayles, can I.. hold you?" I choked out. I couldn't keep myself under control. My emotions flew by so quickly I wasn't sure what I felt. I was angry, I was sad, I was happy, but overall, I was just.. ecstatic.

"I don't know if you can..."

"P..please..."

She sighed, cocking her head to the side and looked at me.

"Let me go get your parents," she was out before I could say anything to object.

This was so damn.. depressing. First off, I was still alive and I had no idea if I was engaged or single. That was the most hurtful part. I didn't know if she had already moved on.

Why do I have to go through this?

Hayley soon returned, my parents at either of her sides.

"Hey mom, hey dad," I murmured. I wanted to talk to Hayley, and only her, for right now, that is. I didn't even know what was going on.

"Hey Kris," my mom smiled. My dad sat down in the chair and relaxed.

Hayley started for the door but thankfully, my mom stopped her.

"Hayley, please, stay. She needs you more than anyone now."

My dad tensed up. He's stillafraid of losing his little girl.

"Oh, no. I don't want to intrude. Y'all can have some family time," Hayley tried to leave again. My dad caught her arm and pulled her back in.

"You are part of our family now," he muttered. Same old dad, never said many words.

"Oh, no. Kristy and I are just friends," Hayley explained. I felt the stab in my heart. It felt so real. I could hear myself whimper and hold onto my chest. Hayley looked at me, sorrow etched behind her hazel eyes.

Both my mom and dad looked at her dumbfounded.

"I think it's best that we stay that way. Our relationship just doesn't seem to work out," Hayley leaned against the wall. The stabbing pain in my chest worsened.

"When am I being released?" I asked. I wanted out of here. I wanted out now.

"They don't know. Not until you're stable," my mom explained. Her eyes didn't leave Hayley even though she was speaking to me.

I knew that look. It was the "you hurt my daughter, I hurt you" look. Many of my previous boyfriends had gotten that look from both my parents.

Hayley dropped her head, her gaze locked on her mud stained Nike shoes.

"Can you ask, please? I'd like to leave," I murmured, sitting up a bit.

My dad got off his chair and walked out into the corridor. I assumed he was asking when I could be released. And I prayed to God that I could be released today.

"Hayley, can I speak to you out in the hallway?" my mom asked. Hayley's head shot up. Her eyes danced from me back to my mom. I looked away from her. I didn't want to look in her eyes right now. I knew I'd see something I didn't want to.

She nodded and both of them walked out into the corridor, leaving me alone and wondering what they were talking about.

I caught a few low murmurs of "why would you do that?" and "she loves you, are you stupid?" from my mother, and Hayley's low pitched whine. I'm assuming my mother playfully slapped her arm. She knew not to hurt Hayley. I think everyone knew not to. Nobody wanted to see me get truly, uncontrollably angry.

My dad came back in first. He had a smile on his face, his faded gray mustache arched at the corners.

"They said they're releasing you tonight as long as you get into some counseling."

I smiled. I'd be out of here tonight and I could pack up and move. There was no way in hell I could be just friends with Hayley and she knew that. Or was she just covering up to my parents, thinking they didn't like the idea of us dating?

Whatever her reasoning was, she explained it to my mother and my mother wouldn't tell me a single detail.

I could see the smirk on my mom's face out of the corner of my eye as she and Hayley walked back in.

Hayley, too had a smile on her face. The secrecy was killing me. I wanted them to tell me, now.

"What's going on between you two?"

Thank you, dad!

"I'll tell you later, dear," my mom winked at him.

Seriously, what was up with them?

"Anyway, Krist, we're going to leave. Hayley is taking you home," my mom smirked and pulled my dad up. He snuck me an apologetic smile as he walked out, holding my moms hand.

"So, you ready to leave?" Hayley smiled. I glared.

"Not with you, no," I snapped thru clenched teeth.

"Oh come on, stop being so pissy," Hayley complained, sitting back in the chair. I crossed my arms over my chest and rolled my eyes.

"You're such an ass sometimes," I growled.

"But you love me," Hayley sang.

I dug my fingers into my upper arms.

"And you know that it won't change," her smile grew and grew. My fingers dug deeper into my arms.

"No, it won't. No matter how badly I wish it would," I spat. She looked at me for a minute.

"Stop digging your nails into your arms. You're gonna break skin," she pouted, her head cocked to the right.

"Make me," I challenged.

"You don't want to know what I'll do to make you stop," she smirked.

I could feel my jaw drop.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You're forgetting that I know more about you than you think," her eyes dropped as she stood. I could feel the tension between us thickening with every step she moved closer to me.

"I'll ask again, are you ready to go?" she had her hand rested on my shoulder now.

I shivered. Her voice came out so innocent. Innocent and tender but I knew the edge behind it, there was just a hint of a seductive purr.

"Yeah. Fine," my whole body jolted up.

"Siddown. I'll go get the doctor so you can check yourself out," she smiled as she walked out to the nurse's station. I growled, digging my fingers back into my arm.

She soon walked back, the doctor at her side.

He handed me a thick stack of forms to sign. I just scribbled a barely legible signature on all of them and and slid on my jeans and t-shirt.

Hayley grinned, dragging me by the arm to the elevator. I groaned and leaned on the wall furthest from her, but she came and stood next to me, slipping her arm around my waist.

"Would you stop sending me mixed signals?!" I screeched, pulling out of her grasp.

She rolled her eyes, like she knew I would say that.

"It'll make sense later," she stood behind me this time, wrapping her arms around my waist, holding tight.

I didn't bother to reply to her. It wouldn't make any difference. I just let her lead me, trusting her to lead me where she wanted.

I truly trusted her.