You've Got So Much Love in You

Hayley and I were meeting back at my house. She needed to talk and I was supposed to listen which, I could do, to an extent. If her requests got too out of hand, which I'm sure they would, I would stop listening and be the one who was talking. We needed to find a compromise before this was taken any further.

I was already there, awaiting her return from Zac's. She said they just needed to finish this song and she'd be here. She said that an hour and a half ago. I was lounging around, waiting for her and watching television. Though, nothing was on that caught my childish interest. Everything seemed to pass by me in a haze. I could feel the clock crawling as it ticked, signaling another minute had passed. The commercials were playing; something for some type of foot fungus cream. It only repulsed me enough to turn off the tube and scramble into the kitchen. I raided the cupboards only to find I had little to no food here.

I sighed as I stumbled into the pantry.

There's about 20 of those huge pixie sticks hidden in there, I remembered Hayley saying. My smile returned, small and pained, but still there as I walked over to the far right corner and found a stash of pixie sticks lying on the shelf. I grabbed three or four and took them back into the kitchen, fetching scissors to cut the tops off.

As I cut the top off the last one, the lock in the front door turned. My head shot up like a rocket, my instincts getting the better of me. I let out an exaggerated sigh of relief when I realized it was only Hayley. She had a paper in one of her hands. I squinted to look at her left hand. Her ring was still on. This was a good sign.

I kept my mouth shut, knowing it would get the better of me if I let it start going off. I could feel the words settling on my tongue, waiting for me to vocalize them and ruin everything between Hayley and I. I swallowed hard, trying to make the itch in the back of my throat go away.

"Let's talk," Hayley said, her voice bubbly as she took off her hoodie and walked into the living room. I bit my lip, making sure to grab my snack before following. I obediently sat on the couch as she stood.

"So, you probably know why I was upset with you earlier," she started confidently. I nodded as she looked at me, studying my facial expression. I tried to keep it blank and not start snickering like a child. I was nearly 20 years old, I should know how to behave in serious situations like this one.

"Well, I understand she's your friend and you did have a point. You have little to no friends now that you're dating me. I'm friends with plenty of people, and here you've given up everyone to be with me. I think that's a big enough sacrifice that I could ignore the jealousy of you being friends with her. Basically, I don't mind if you're friends with her. She seems nice, though I've never met her," Hayley let out a soft, careful laugh as she looked at me, waiting for any type of response. I was frozen; I didn't expect her to be so understanding, nor to say she didn't mind if I was friends with Sierra. I knew her jealousy would increase as Sierra and I got closer and that made me wonder if this was just a temporary decision. She could change her mind and then we'd have bigger problems because it'd hurt worse to let go once I was close to her.

"Cool," I responded. I knew she deserved more than that but, it was all I could come up with right now. My mind was in too much of a haze to say much else.

"That's it?" she asked, bewildered by my brushing it off like it was nothing.

"Yep," I spoke through tight lips. The words that had settled on my tongue were pushing their way out of my mouth.

"You don't even care to say sorry for draping yourself all over her?" Hayley's voice became slightly agitated and I suppose it was my fault for acting like this meant nothing to me.

"I'm ill at ease. I don't have much to say right now."

"You could at least say sorry!" she shouted, her hazel eyes peering into mine. Somehow in between, she had moved dangerously close to me.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. The words had a double meaning. I was sorry for not having much to say but, I wasn't sure if I was sorry for flirting with Sierra.

"Now you say it, after I've mentioned it," she snapped. Her small body was nearly pressed to mine as I stood, looking down at her.

"Doesn't mean that I don't mean it," I shrugged. She looked at me, furious and stunned before leaning up to me, and kissing me eagerly. I returned the kiss but, most definitely not as hungrily as she had initiated it. She was pushing me backwards onto the couch as I broke my mouth from hers.

"What on earth are you doing?"

She shrugged, now on top of me, straddling my hips.

"Oh," I laughed, though it came out as more of a choked sigh.

"Do you wanna stop?" she asked, her eyes seeming to have x-ray vision as she looked me once over.

I thought for a moment. Maybe I could let go once, and let things flow the way they should or, I could be the caring, loving one and stop her before she did something she may later regret.

I chose the first option.

"Not really," I responded. Her mouth found mine, more eager and lustful than before.

Here comes the second time around. My second time making love to my fiance.