You've Got So Much Love in You

I slipped the hacked version of Guitar Hero 3 into the PS2, so we could play some of their own songs.

"Krist...I just...I wanna hold you..." Hayley said as she sat on the couch, patting her lap for me to sit down. I sat down on the other side of the couch, putting my feet up. She gave me a confused glance, as I patted my lap. She sat down between my legs, leaning her back onto my front. I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist as I lifted her shirt a little, just so I could feel her bare skin.

"Wanna watch TV?" I asked, drawing circles on her bare stomach with my finger tips.

"Y-yes..." she responded and I smiled at her getting flustered.

"What channel?"

"Fuse," she responded, sighing contently as my hands continued their actions.

As I turned the channel to Fuse, only to see an announcement about my beautiful girlfriend.

"Hayley Williams has reportedly gone bisexual. There are pictures leaked from someone who hacked the fiery red head's Sidekick LX, and got pictures of her kissing this mystery girl. We all wanna know her name, because most of us doubt she is good enough for our Hayley. I personally don't think she is. I'm also surprised the powerhouse hasn't announced it yet," the news anchor remarked, leaving both Hayley and I baffled.

"How could they say that about you!?" Hayley said, and I could feel her body temperature rising.

"Calm down, love..." I whispered soothingly in her ear as my hand rubbed her stomach. I felt her breathing slow, as she closed her eyes for a minute.

"I'm calm...only because you're holding me..."

"Hayley...maybe you should go straight again...the fans won't like this..." I tried to find the right words, but it came out so...harsh.

"No! God no! I don't ever want anyone else!" she shouted as she pulled away from my embrace. I felt cold without her warmth sitting with me.

"But our relationship isn't right in the eyes of the public...You'd lose so many fans..."

"I do not care! I'm in love, it's what everyone searches for, and I've found it! Why can't they accept that?!" her voice rose a decibel or 2.

"Hayley...you're living your dreams. Just let me go..." I tried once again to sound loving, and show her that I only wanted the best for her. I failed.

"No!" she shouted, and before I could respond, a small black box hit me in the gut, hard.

"Open it!" she shouted once more.

I opened the box slowly, to find a beautiful ring. It was silver, and it had the words 'My love is yours forever, beautiful." engraved on it. I stared at it in awe.

"What does this mean?" I asked, gesturing towards the ring.

"It means I was going to propose to you!"

"I-I had no idea Hayley..."

"You're right! You didn't! I wanted to be with you forever! Now you're trying to leave me! So you know what? If you wanna leave me so bad, it's over!" her words came out so cold. I nodded, and walked to my bunk. I climbed in, holding the teddy bear I held all those nights in the past, pretending it was her. I hoped I'd never have to resort to this, but it was all I had. I let the tears flow freely, not caring who saw me cry. All the sounds were muffled by my pillow and teddy bear, otherwise, you would've thought I was dying. I cried for about I believe 2 and a half hours, before Zac came and disturbed me.

"Get up, Kristy. Now," his voice came out so harsh. I didn't move an inch. I had no intention of ever moving. I just wanted to die right there, and the sooner the better. Zac walked away for a minute and I fumbled, searching for the Tylenol I kept in my bunk for when I got headaches. I knew there was about half left. I found it rather quickly, and right when I was opening the lid, I heard a loud scream, coming from below me.

"ZAC!" Hayley shouted and I heard Zac run up.

"What?!" Zac asked, they both clearly didn't know I was listening.

"I heard her open a bottle of pills..." Hayley whispered, thinking I couldn't hear her.

"No way! Not again!" Zac shouted, and I was yanked out of my bunk. I screeched as I hit the ground. My bunk was the highest, and it hurt like a bitch. I was lying at Hayley's feet. I tried to crawl away, only to be stopped my Zac's foot in front of me.

"Get up!" he yelled. Why was he being so cold to me now? He was always my Zaccy boy.

I nodded, and got to my feet, holding the teddy bear to my chest for fear of someone punching me. My head was pounding though. I had hit it when I fell. The room was spinning.

I started to sway back and forth, and held onto the wall for balance.

"What is your problem!?" Zac yelled once again.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP ZAC! I have a headache from hell right now!" I screamed. I didn't give a damn about anyone right now. The world was against me in my mind.

"No! I will NOT shut up! You keep using this bullshit to deal with pain! It's drug abuse!" he held up the bottle of Tylenol, shaking it.

"I'm this close to getting off this bus and saying fuck everyone, okay? How about you just STOP FUCKING YELLING AT ME!" I held out my fore finger and thumb, about a centimeter apart, for effect. I saw Hayley cringe at my screaming. For once, I didn't care. I felt like an ass because I didn't, but the world didn't matter to me right now. My head was pounding so much. I just wanted sleep.

"I'm NOT gonna stop yelling at you until you realize how STUPID you are!" he screamed and I clutched my head as it started to get worse. I wanted to rip my hair out right about now.

"Zac, stop yelling at her," Hayley broke in. Oh, she just broke up with me and she was defending me?

"No! She needs to get it through her thick head!" Zac's voice rose, and I felt his hand come in contact with my pounding head. It hurt so bad. I tried not to show it, but I fell to my knees, clutching my head in my hands. I felt like it was gonna explode.

"What is your problem Zac?! I asked for help, not for you to practically kill her!" Hayley was becoming defensive of me? After she had just broken my heart into a million pieces?

"You wanted my help. She's awake, and she's right in front of you," he spoke coldly. What had happened to him?

"I'm not gonna talk to her when she's like this, and can barely stand," Hayley spoke calmly. What the hell were they talking about?

I leaned my head onto the bunk, trying to get rid of my migrane. It kept pounding though. My God, will it ever go away? Not only my head hurt, but my arms and back started to ache. I had put my arms out to catch myself when I was thrown out of the bunk.

"You two are a roller coaster, Hayley. You both need to make up your minds. I'm sick of seeing you both hurting," Zac replied, the venom dripping from his voice.

I decided now would be the time for me to break in. I got up slowly, clutching my head to prevent as much movement as possible.

"She WOULD be able to talk to me right now if your dumb ass wouldn't have pulled me out of my bunk! My head is pounding so fucking much! I'm about to collapse!" I screamed, regretting it, as the room started to spin again. I let go of my head, grasping the wall once again, to keep my balance.

I sat there, just trying to recover from almost collapsing, as a small pair of arms wrapped themselves around my waist. I wanted to pull away, I wanted to scream "FUCK YOU" to the whole world, but I couldn't. It felt so comforting, and I felt my headache start to slowly fade away, as I heard the softest voice singing.

"I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I’ve fallen down and I can’t do this alone.

Stay with me, this is what I need, please?

Sing us a song and we’ll sing it back to you.
We could sing our own but what would it be without you? Ohh...

I am nothing now and it’s been so long,
since I’ve heard a sound, the sound of my only hope.

This time I will be listening.

Sing us a song and we’ll sing it back to you.
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?

This heart, it beats, beats for only you.
This heart, it beats, beats for only you.

This heart, it beats, beats for only you.
My heart is yours.

This heart, it beats, beats for only you.
My heart is yours.
(My heart, it beats for you.)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you.(It beats, beats for only you.)
My heart is yours. (My heart is yours.)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you. (Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away)
My heart, my heart is yours (Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away)"

I was able to steady my breathing, and I felt fine now. Headache gone, and all at the sound of the voice from Heaven.

"Please don't go now...please don't fade away," she whispered into my ear. I didn't shiver, for my mind was on another planet. She took this as a bad sign, and started to pull away, yanking me from my little world, and making me shiver from the cold, as I no longer had her warmth to hold me.

"You've fallen out of love with me, haven't you?" she asked quietly. I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't find my voice.

"I-" I struggled to find the right words. I hadn't fallen out of love with her, I had fallen deeper.

"I know, you have. I'm sorry, Kristy. I really hope we can be friends, even with you knowing I want something more..." she spoke quietly, and I heard her voice break. I took my eyes away from my bare feet, to see her eyes sparkling, and tears falling freely down her cheeks.