You've Got So Much Love in You

"You didn't give me a chance to speak..." I finally found my voice. Thank God, I would've died if I couldn't tell her that I was falling deeper.

"I knew what you were gonna say..." she mumbled, fiddling with the hem of her shirt, averting my gaze.

"That wasn't what I was going to say. I was going to tell you that I was falling deeper for you. I was falling harder. The only reason I didn't talk to you, or shiver at your touch is because I wasn't really here. I was off in my own world, where things were perfect. I could never fall out of love with you Hayley. I fell too hard. I know that you are hurting, and I feel like shit for causing it. For a second there, when Zac was here, I just...I didn't give a damn about anything, or I would've defended you. You know that. I would've defended you just like I did in Hollister today. Hayley, I love you. That will never ever change. If you want to be friends because what the public thinks about us, I'll wait for you. I'll wait forever, and if you don't decide you want a relationship with me, I'll die alone. You're everything I always wanted, and you're the only person I need in my life and if I lose you I swear I won't ma-" I was cut short, by a pair of soft, gentle lips pulling me into the most passionate, loving kiss that I've ever felt. I sighed contently as she pulled away. I could taste the salt from her tears as I kissed her cheek. Her forehead rested against mine, as my breathing became steady.

"I-I can't lose you. I don't care what people think of us. It's us against the world. Don't leave me...I'm sorry for yelling at you...and throwing so much shit on you at once..." her head moved from my forehead, to my shoulder as I held her tightly in my arms, trying to comfort her by rubbing her back soothingly.

"Shh...don't apologize, love. It IS us against the world. And I won't leave you to fight this alone, I promise.," I turned my head sideways a little, kissing the top of her head, trying to get her to stop crying, so my heart would stop hurting.

"I-I still want to propose to you Kristy... That's why Zac was getting you up. I wanted him to bring you to me, so I could finally say what I needed to, without any interruptions," her voice stopped sounding shaky, as she nuzzled her head onto my shoulder.

"It's your life, your choices, Hayley. I can understand if you don't want to, because this has been a short relationship with so many problems."

"No. I want to. I just..I have to find the right words to say..."

"Wait until you're ready, okay? I don't want you to rush into things with me because you're afraid I'm leaving," I spoke softly, trying to be as gentle as possible.

"Krist..." she started quietly, but my phone ringing interrupted her. I reluctantly let go of Hayley, and searched my bunk for my LG Rumor. I found it easily, since it was bright green. The caller ID was an unknown number. Weird.

"Hello?" I answered, confused.

"Yes. Is this Kristy Collins?" they asked and I became even more confused.

"Yes, it is. How can I help you?" I tried to be nice, but I was becoming confused.

"You were admitted at our Mount Caramel Hospital a few days ago. We have your test results about your system being unaffected by your overdose on Tylenol," okay, apparently I had taken a test, even though I didn't remember it.

"Okay, what's the news, doc?" I asked, suddenly cheery, thinking nothing was wrong.

"Your stomach is bleeding internally, Ms. Collins. We're afraid you'll need to be admitted, and we will have to make an incision on your stomach, and stitch it from inside," the doctor spoke quickly, and I stood there in shock.

"What can happen if I don't get this done?" I was trying to avoid surgery by all costs.

"You will die in less than a month. Your blood stream will be infected, and you will have dizzy spells from blood loss."

"I'm already having dizzy spells, what does that mean?" I became worried, as Hayley looked at me, begging for answers.

"You're losing more blood than we thought. It's possible for you to die in hours, days, or weeks," the doctor explained once more. I almost dropped my phone.

"I'll be in soon, thank you," I said and hung up. It took a minute or two for all that to register in my head.

"What's wrong!?" Hayley asked, becoming frantic.

"They said that my stomach is bleeding internally. You know those dizzy spells I've been getting?" she nodded as I spoke, "Yeah, that's from blood loss. Apparently I can die in hours, days, or weeks. But less than a month is what they said," I finished, trying to phrase it in the best way possible.

"Isn't there anything they can do?" her tears were returning, and I could see the fear in her eyes.

"They can cut open my stomach, and stitch it, assuming they can find where it's bleeding from," I pulled her into my arms, tightly, trying to comfort her, but she seemed afraid to be close to me now.

"I don't want to hurt you..." she pulled away and looked at me sadly.

"You're not gonna hurt me. I didn't even know about it all those times I held you before, it didn't hurt at all. In fact, earlier, when you held me and sang to me, my headache disappeared," I sighed, feeling like shit suddenly. So basically, I had to either be chopped up, or die. Personally, the only reason I was even considering the surgery is because of Hayley. I knew she wouldn't want me gone, or at least I hoped she wouldn't.

"If you say so..." she mumbled and pulled me into a tight embrace, and I felt comforted.

"What do you want me to do, Hayles?" I asked and rested my chin on her shoulder.

"I want you to be okay. It sounds selfish, because I know the surgery will cause you pain, but I'll take care of you. We can cancel the tour and make up for it later. We don't even have a steady home right now, Krist..." she acted as though she felt bad for not having a steady apartment, since I had finished my lease, and so had she.

"We can get an apartment, Hayles. Don't worry so much about these things. And you don't have to cancel your tour, I can just stay in the hospital and have them take care of me," I tried to reason with her, but she was so stubborn.

"No! I want to be there for you. And nothing you say will stop me," I saw a small smile creep into place on her lips, as I kissed her.