You've Got So Much Love in You

"Kristy, are you gonna get that surgery?" she asked as I pulled away from her.

"If you want me to, I will," I smiled, for the first time in a few hours.

"I do want you to, I don't want to lose you. But they said you could die in a few hours?" my smile disappeared as she made me remember I was at risk.

"Yeah, they did..."

"Then we need to go now," she said and walked out the main area, I followed quickly behind. I saw Jeremy, Josh, and Zac all sitting there, Zac looked down as we entered the room.

"We need to go back to that hospital. Now," Hayley's voice was once again firm, and I had never seen her so serious. She was usually fun loving and easy going.

"Why?" Jeremy asked. I don't think he intended to sound mean, but Hayley took it that way.

"My girlfriend needs surgery, any other questions!?" Hayley became fierce. I walked behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist, just trying to calm her down.

"Don't take it out on them, it's not their fault I was stupid," I whispered in her ear, as she shivered. I smiled bashfully at my abilities to do that.

"Okay, so I'll try again nicely, my girlfriend could die in a few hours, and she needs surgery, so we have to go back. Oh, and I uhh...we need to cancel the tour..." she spoke, and whole band nodded. I think they all thought it was time for a break.

"So we'll cancel the tour, for personal issues, and I'll tell the driver to take us back," Jeremy said, getting up and walking to the front of the bus, whispering to the driver.

"You're gonna be okay, love," said Hayley, softly, in a voice that put me into a trance.

"I'm just fine now. If got to spend the rest of my days with you, I'll die happy. If I died right now, I'd die happy, Hayles, just knowing you were once mine," I spoke gently, trying to keep my voice from cracking as my eyes stung with tears. I fought to hold them back.

"If you leave me Krist, I'll never love again..." her voice was breaking. No, she wasn't gonna cry over this.

"You'll love again, Hayles. You're just saying things like that now, but you will. But if you ever need me, I'm with you, and waiting for you, in eternity," I tightened my arms around her waist, burying my head in her shoulder, still fighting the tears.

"Don't say things like that, you two, she's gonna be fine," Zac spoke up as I looked over Hayley's shoulder at him, he too, was crying.

"I told the driver," Jeremy said as he walked over to hug me. I reluctantly let go of my love, to hug him back.

"Don't leave us, Krist," he spoke into my shoulder. Sheesh, did they all think I was gonna die?

As Jeremy and I let go, Zac and Josh pulled me into a hug, leaving Hayley standing there, waiting patiently. When I was finally let out of Zac's death grip, I opened my arms to Hayley, who held me so tight that I thought she might crush me.

"Hayley, I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here, with you, and all of them."

"How can you be sure? How do you know that they won't mess it up and I'll lose you?"

"Because. Even if they do, I'm in your heart, okay?" I spoke softly, trying to avoid any more tears.

"My heart's with you. No one will ever love me like you do..." she was starting to tear up again. God, those doctors better not mess this up.

"I'm not going anywhere, Hayley. I promise. I'll do anything to be here with you, holding you, okay?" I tried to reason with her, that I wouldn't be leaving her anytime soon.

"I can't lose you...I'll die without you..." her voice sounded so sincere. I lived for moments like these, where she would just speak, no thinking, it's just how she feels. It's raw, and it's real.

"Shh...don't start crying, love. I'll never, ever leave you,"

"Okay, I trust you..." we let go, and sat down.

As for the hour drive back to the hospital, we all played Guitar Hero, Hayley beating us all at most of the songs. Which was surprising, considering she rarely played. Beginners luck, I guess.

When we finally got to Mount Caramel, Hayley took my hand, as we walked off the bus. I saw a few press reporters, asking her questions. She didn't stop, probably because she feared what the doctor had said would happen, but I doubted that. We approached the reception desk, just the two of us, because the guys wanted to stay on the bus until we got back.

"I need to schedule a surgery, apparently. I was called earlier to say I had internal bleeding. I was here about 3 days ago," I said and the receptionist nodded, looking at Hayley.

"I remember your girlfriend," she said. I looked at her, puzzled. Hayley had told her she was my girlfriend? Oh my. Hayley giggled when I gave her a look, meaning we'd talk about this later.

"We can take you in for prep right now, the doctor isn't busy. You should be out of surgery in a few hours. And you can go home later tonight, if all goes well," the receptionist said, smiling again.

"That's perfect, actually. Where can she stay?" I said, nudging Hayley.

"She can wait in your room while you're in surgery. The surgery will only last about 2 hours."

"Works for me," Hayley shrugged.

"So, we'll take you back to prep now," the receptionist said, making a call for a nurse to prep me.

I snuck a kiss with Hayley, but was caught as she turned around, smiling at us.

"I was like y'all once, savor it, while you can," she said, giving us a sad smile.

"We'll take you back now," a nurse who looked very unfriendly came up to me, glaring at Hayley and I's intertwined hands. I kissed Hayley once more, before reluctantly letting go of her, to walk with the bitchy woman. Bitter bitch is just jealous that my girlfriend is beautiful, probably.

"Siddown," she spoke through gritted teeth.

I sat down in the chair, as she put the machine that takes your blood pressure onto my arm.

"Why are you so bitter towards me and my girlfriend? We've done nothing to you, we've never even met you," I was becoming angry. I don't like when people discriminate against my life, or my love.

"I had a crush on your girlfriend. She's the singer of my favorite band," the nurse explained. So I was right! It was jealousy.

"Oh, I'm sorry..." I quickly turned soft, realizing that I had once been in her position.

"It's fine. I knew it would never happen, but seeing her here after that on Fuse, eats at me."

"Oh, so you've heard about me?" I laughed nervously. This girl could kill me if she wanted to.

"Yes, I have. I don't particularly think you are that bad. Hayley seems to be happy, and you seem to love her very much, I can see that in your eyes," the nurse turned soft also, thankfully.

"I do. I've known her since we were kids, started liking her when we were about 11," I explained, as we moved on to the stretcher in which I had to lay on, and I was taken to a dreary white room. They put a mask over my face and told me to count to ten, and before I was finished, I was out cold.