Hello Angel Tell Me Where Are You

"Scarlet, this is my grandma, grandma this is Scarlet." Gerard and I stood in the lobby of the main building in front of his grandmother, I could see that this was not your picture perfect cookie baking, sweater knitting grandmother you saw in all those cheesy kid movies, but the one that always cooked Thanksgiving dinner and made you help but made it actually enjoyable, I smiled and nodded politely as she did.

"Hello, Mrs. Way."

"Rush," she corrected politely, I nodded and stood there awkwardly beside Gerard, I knew what he was waiting for, and I held my breath out of sheer nervousness as he spoke.

"Grandma, I know this is short notice, but I was wondering if Scarlet could come live with us in Jersey, I don't want to leave her here, she's been here her entire life and you know how no one adopts the older children..." I could see the uncertainty and distaste come across her features as her grandchild begged for me, I placed my hand on his shoulder, and he stopped, looking at me with sad eyes, his grandmother looked at us for a moment and then got his papers from the front desk, looking back as she walked out, giving him a meaningful glance that read hurry-up-dear-because-we-need-to-leave-soon, he only nodded solemnly. "I'm sorry," he whispered, purposely looking away from me.

"Gerard, don't be. Please don't be," I turned his head toward me as I felt the tears sting the brim of my eyes, my heart screamed inside of me as it was being slowly rejected by my mind, numbing the pain within it with it's own narcotics. I closed my eyes to reconcile my thoughts and I felt the tears cascade down my face, I felt him take the end of his sleeve and wipe them gently away.

"I'm sorry, Scarlet, I want you to come with me, you have no idea how much I do, but..." I nodded in silence, letting him know I understood.

"Gerard, all I want from you now, is to not apologize for something that you have no control over," he looked at me with sad, shocked eyes.

"I can't stop apologizing for this, because I know how much it hurts to stay here," I couldn't believe he actually understood, he'd only been here for a few weeks, I couldn't help but collapse into him and he took hold of me with surprised open arms, I stood there crying into his chest as he slowly stroked my back, I heard the door click open and almost flung myself away from him, he looked at me, scorned, but then realized who had walked through the door.

"Gerard, dear, we need to leave for Maryland to pick up your brother, we can't arrive there past nine," he nodded his head and he cast one more sad glance in my direction as he walked out of those doors and out of my life, and with those final footsteps he took, I saw my
heart fly along with him.