Simple and so Significant
001/001
I ran my right fingers over the wedding band on my left hand. The band that signaled that I did and always will belong to him. My Brendon. When we were younger, we had exchanged these rings as a symbol of our love; a love that would never die.
Even now, it still prospers. Brendon had taken my ring without me knowing and had it engraved when we reached our twenty anniversary. It simply said, Northern Downpour Sends Its Love. Something so simple that meant so much to the both of us. Now, almost forty years after that happened, it still meant so much to me.
I sat in silence, my black tuxedo creasing with every move I made. Today was the day. My final goodbyes to the one I love and always will. I brushed tears away as they rolled down my wrinkly and weary face. We all knew it was going to happen.
That one day where, in his old age, he was sink into the depression and never resurface to my dear sweet Brendon. He lost himself so much just mere days before. Just one pill to many and I knew when I came home from getting groceries that day that I had lost him. I knew he was gone even before I found him. The silence of the house, how dead our piano was, how much darker everything seemed. It all lead to this.
Beside me, Spencer’s wrinkled old hand, clasped in mine, tears streaming down his own face. First Jon had gone. His liver had failed him after all these years. Now, his best friend had gone, too. I knew his feelings. My love and best friend had gone as well.
As best as I could, I leaned over and pecked his cheek. He gave a faint smile at the feeling. A normal notion shared by friend through many, many years.
On my other side, sat my son. Brendon’s son. The son we had adopted. His fingers resembled Brendon’s as he played the piano just as well as his father had when he was young. His name, astonishingly enough, was Brandon. One letter away. We adopted him as a baby and he grew into a musical family. Playing the guitar, piano, bass, and even a bit of drums. He was the most amazing child any man could ever ask for.
Beside Brandon, sat his wife and little girl. All three were in tears. My family, sorrowful and upset. All of the people in the room. They were all family. Biological or not. There sat Kara, Lana, Quinn, Dan, Kaitlyn from the Starbucks that Jon and Spencer used to visit frequently. All of them, family to both me and Brendon.
Pete was long gone. As was the rest of Fall Out Boy. The last one passed about two years back, around the same time as Jon.
Now, I was once again in a room full of black, but this time, it was my lover who has died. My Brendon, gone until I depart as well.
I didn’t listen as the priest gave him last rights. I didn’t feel or hear anything except the heart in my chest. I could almost swear I heard it shatter.
“A few final words from his husband, George Ryan Ross,” I heard the priest say.
I sniffed and rose from my seat, going to the podium, “Brendon,” my voice was shaky with age and with sadness, “Brendon was my world. He kept me going. He stayed with me through everything. When it had come time for him to go, I wasn’t there. That’s the only I will ever regret regarding my relationship with Brendon. That I wasn’t there when it happened. I loved him so much and I will miss him dearly. I’ll miss the crazy things he used to do when we were young, the private moments in the bedroom when Panic At The Disco had a break, the picnics when we quite playing to have a family. Everything about him, I will miss. It’s impossible for me to be completely devastated, though. I know that I will see him again,” I stopped and took a deep breath, “As the rest of our lives began, I must end this chapter in our lives the same way.”
If there was one thing I hadn’t lost in my old age, it was my singing voice and my ability to play the guitar. Carefully, I walked to Brendon’s casket and placed a final kiss to his forehead, “I love you, Brendon. I mean that. Always and forever.”
I walked to my guitar case and pulled out an old acoustic that I had tuned just for this occasion.
“This song always had a special significance to the both of us. And for a reason. Just after this song in 2008, I proposed to Brendon. And he accepted, making me the happiest man alive. I still am.”
Spencer, who had figured out what I was planning yesterday, brought his rhythm box and joined me.
As I played the opening chords and began to sing, a smile grace everyone’s lips. It was a song so familiar, almost like home.
“If all our life is but a dream
Fantastic posing greed
Then we should feed our jewelery to the sea
For diamonds do appear to be
Just like broken glass to me
And then she said she can't believe
Genius only comes along
In storms of fabled foreign tongues
Tripping eyes, and flooded lungs
Northern downpour sends its love
Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down
Sugarcane in the easy mornin'
Weathervanes my one and lonely
The ink is running toward the page
It's chasin' off the days
Look back at boat feet
And that winding knee
I missed your skin when you were east
You clicked your heels and wished for me
Through playful lips made of yarn
That fragile Capricorn
Unraveled words like moths upon old scarves
I know the world's a broken bone
But melt your headaches, call it home
Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down
Sugarcane in the easy mornin'
Weathervanes my one and lonely
Sugarcane (hey moon) in
(Hey moon) the easy mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my
(Hey moon) one and lonely
Sugarcane (hey moon) in (hey moon)
The easy (hey moon) mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my (hey moon)
One (hey moon) and lonely
Sugarcane (hey moon) in (hey moon)
The easy (hey moon) mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my (hey moon)
One (hey moon) and lonely
Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down
You are at the top of my lungs
Drawn to the ones who never yawn.”
Spencer and I played and sang together as we all exited the small chapel to the cemetery next door. It was exactly how Brendon wanted to be buried; in a small cemetery, where he could rest in peace forever. We played as they placed the casket on the machine to lower him into the ground.
And once the song was over… my tears stopped. I couldn’t cry anymore. I knew I wouldn’t cry again. Not for Brendon anyway. It still hurt, but he was so much better off. With one last prayer, Brendon was lowered. I smiled softly as a picture was placed on his coffin, his youthful, smiling face looking back into my older, weary one.
I looked away as a shovel was placed in my hand. Knowing exactly what to do with this, I scooped dirt into it and threw it onto the coffin. Dropping the shovel to my side, Spencer handed me a flower. I beckoned Brendan and his wife and child to come and stand with me and Spencer. Spencer reached out for Kara. Together, we tossed our flowers onto of the dirt and left. Not another word to each other or anyone else, we just left.
After the dinner at a near by diner, everyone went to their separate homes. I went back to the cemetery.
I stood at the foot of the overturned dirt and stared at the headstone. Brendon Boyd Urie. Born April 12, 1987, Died May 14, 2068. A loving husband, brother, father, and friend. Northern Downpour Send Its Love.
A month and two days after his eighty-first birthday. But none of that mattered. Slowly, I turned away, a soft smile on my old features.
“Goodbye, my Brenny-Bear.”
Even now, it still prospers. Brendon had taken my ring without me knowing and had it engraved when we reached our twenty anniversary. It simply said, Northern Downpour Sends Its Love. Something so simple that meant so much to the both of us. Now, almost forty years after that happened, it still meant so much to me.
I sat in silence, my black tuxedo creasing with every move I made. Today was the day. My final goodbyes to the one I love and always will. I brushed tears away as they rolled down my wrinkly and weary face. We all knew it was going to happen.
That one day where, in his old age, he was sink into the depression and never resurface to my dear sweet Brendon. He lost himself so much just mere days before. Just one pill to many and I knew when I came home from getting groceries that day that I had lost him. I knew he was gone even before I found him. The silence of the house, how dead our piano was, how much darker everything seemed. It all lead to this.
Beside me, Spencer’s wrinkled old hand, clasped in mine, tears streaming down his own face. First Jon had gone. His liver had failed him after all these years. Now, his best friend had gone, too. I knew his feelings. My love and best friend had gone as well.
As best as I could, I leaned over and pecked his cheek. He gave a faint smile at the feeling. A normal notion shared by friend through many, many years.
On my other side, sat my son. Brendon’s son. The son we had adopted. His fingers resembled Brendon’s as he played the piano just as well as his father had when he was young. His name, astonishingly enough, was Brandon. One letter away. We adopted him as a baby and he grew into a musical family. Playing the guitar, piano, bass, and even a bit of drums. He was the most amazing child any man could ever ask for.
Beside Brandon, sat his wife and little girl. All three were in tears. My family, sorrowful and upset. All of the people in the room. They were all family. Biological or not. There sat Kara, Lana, Quinn, Dan, Kaitlyn from the Starbucks that Jon and Spencer used to visit frequently. All of them, family to both me and Brendon.
Pete was long gone. As was the rest of Fall Out Boy. The last one passed about two years back, around the same time as Jon.
Now, I was once again in a room full of black, but this time, it was my lover who has died. My Brendon, gone until I depart as well.
I didn’t listen as the priest gave him last rights. I didn’t feel or hear anything except the heart in my chest. I could almost swear I heard it shatter.
“A few final words from his husband, George Ryan Ross,” I heard the priest say.
I sniffed and rose from my seat, going to the podium, “Brendon,” my voice was shaky with age and with sadness, “Brendon was my world. He kept me going. He stayed with me through everything. When it had come time for him to go, I wasn’t there. That’s the only I will ever regret regarding my relationship with Brendon. That I wasn’t there when it happened. I loved him so much and I will miss him dearly. I’ll miss the crazy things he used to do when we were young, the private moments in the bedroom when Panic At The Disco had a break, the picnics when we quite playing to have a family. Everything about him, I will miss. It’s impossible for me to be completely devastated, though. I know that I will see him again,” I stopped and took a deep breath, “As the rest of our lives began, I must end this chapter in our lives the same way.”
If there was one thing I hadn’t lost in my old age, it was my singing voice and my ability to play the guitar. Carefully, I walked to Brendon’s casket and placed a final kiss to his forehead, “I love you, Brendon. I mean that. Always and forever.”
I walked to my guitar case and pulled out an old acoustic that I had tuned just for this occasion.
“This song always had a special significance to the both of us. And for a reason. Just after this song in 2008, I proposed to Brendon. And he accepted, making me the happiest man alive. I still am.”
Spencer, who had figured out what I was planning yesterday, brought his rhythm box and joined me.
As I played the opening chords and began to sing, a smile grace everyone’s lips. It was a song so familiar, almost like home.
“If all our life is but a dream
Fantastic posing greed
Then we should feed our jewelery to the sea
For diamonds do appear to be
Just like broken glass to me
And then she said she can't believe
Genius only comes along
In storms of fabled foreign tongues
Tripping eyes, and flooded lungs
Northern downpour sends its love
Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down
Sugarcane in the easy mornin'
Weathervanes my one and lonely
The ink is running toward the page
It's chasin' off the days
Look back at boat feet
And that winding knee
I missed your skin when you were east
You clicked your heels and wished for me
Through playful lips made of yarn
That fragile Capricorn
Unraveled words like moths upon old scarves
I know the world's a broken bone
But melt your headaches, call it home
Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down
Sugarcane in the easy mornin'
Weathervanes my one and lonely
Sugarcane (hey moon) in
(Hey moon) the easy mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my
(Hey moon) one and lonely
Sugarcane (hey moon) in (hey moon)
The easy (hey moon) mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my (hey moon)
One (hey moon) and lonely
Sugarcane (hey moon) in (hey moon)
The easy (hey moon) mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my (hey moon)
One (hey moon) and lonely
Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down
You are at the top of my lungs
Drawn to the ones who never yawn.”
Spencer and I played and sang together as we all exited the small chapel to the cemetery next door. It was exactly how Brendon wanted to be buried; in a small cemetery, where he could rest in peace forever. We played as they placed the casket on the machine to lower him into the ground.
And once the song was over… my tears stopped. I couldn’t cry anymore. I knew I wouldn’t cry again. Not for Brendon anyway. It still hurt, but he was so much better off. With one last prayer, Brendon was lowered. I smiled softly as a picture was placed on his coffin, his youthful, smiling face looking back into my older, weary one.
I looked away as a shovel was placed in my hand. Knowing exactly what to do with this, I scooped dirt into it and threw it onto the coffin. Dropping the shovel to my side, Spencer handed me a flower. I beckoned Brendan and his wife and child to come and stand with me and Spencer. Spencer reached out for Kara. Together, we tossed our flowers onto of the dirt and left. Not another word to each other or anyone else, we just left.
After the dinner at a near by diner, everyone went to their separate homes. I went back to the cemetery.
I stood at the foot of the overturned dirt and stared at the headstone. Brendon Boyd Urie. Born April 12, 1987, Died May 14, 2068. A loving husband, brother, father, and friend. Northern Downpour Send Its Love.
A month and two days after his eighty-first birthday. But none of that mattered. Slowly, I turned away, a soft smile on my old features.
“Goodbye, my Brenny-Bear.”
♠ ♠ ♠
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Cemetery.Vampire