Recovery.
Chapter 5
It had been just over six months since that night and I knew that I was no longer needed; Gabe would take care of her.
On the year anniversary of my death, instead of Norah taking a solemn trip to the cemetery alone, she brought Gabe with her. She spoke to my tombstone as Gabe watched on silently, sadly, holding her hand tight to try and comfort her. She started off by introducing Gabe, unaware of how familiar with him I was. Then she told me how she was moving on and that's when the tears started, on both sides of the field that was cruelly separating us; even Gabe shed a tear. I knew that hearing her voice so choked with emotion was weighing heavily on his heart when he knew there was nothing he could really do to ease the pain. He pulled her into a hug, their heads still facing my resting place, and he rubbed his hand up and down her arm. Even though she was letting go, I knew that it didn't mean she would no longer visit my resting place; this brought some consolation, but only the smallest ounce.
There was another blow two months later.
I can remember it clearly as I watched, sickened, as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, that million dollar smile on his face. She bit her lip and looked down, a blush creeping into her cheeks from the look he was giving her. I remember gasping and clutching at my chest, tears springing into my eyes. I hadn't felt any kind of true physical feeling for so long, and yet the stabbing pain in my heart had been real, and I knew what had caused it. She had never blushed when I looked at her like that and I knew, with certainty, that he was better than me. Better in every way. He could give her exactly what she needed, more than I ever could and the love she felt for him.... it was stronger than the love she felt for me. Had felt. Because he'd stolen her from me, just like I'd been stolen from her by the cruelest twist of fate.
He put a finger under her chin and lifted her head. Then he spoke. He spoke three words that still echoed in my mind to this day and clawed at my already disfigured heart.
"I love you."
Her eyes had lit up, overjoyed that she had found someone who could overlook her biggest flaw: me. I was, or had been, the blemish that had almost wasted her life, the imperfection that had threatened to cause her to crumble completely. He had said that she had opened his eyes to the world when he'd almost lost hope, but it was at times like these when it was, without a doubt, the other way round.
I forced myself to turn away from them and the lives they had yet to spend together, looking towards the light as Norah had done six months before. It was my turn to let go. She had someone to protect her who could care for her more efficiently than I ever could in this state. However much I would have liked to deny it, I was eternally grateful for that, knowing I could rest easy when she had him around.
I breathed in deeply, everything becoming clear to me. I wasn't her soul mate as I... we had thought when I was alive. We weren't meant to be, which is probably why I paid such a price for misleading the path her life was supposed to take. It had been written in stone that she was meant to wed Gabe, meant to bear his children, meant to love him, to cherish him. I had gotten in the way of fate, I became an obstacle that had to be taken care of.
I opened my eyes and took a step forward towards what I hoped to be my new beginning. Even though our relationship wasn't meant to be, the feelings we had grown for each other had been real and Norah knew, as did Gabe, that it was something that would never heal completely.
On the year anniversary of my death, instead of Norah taking a solemn trip to the cemetery alone, she brought Gabe with her. She spoke to my tombstone as Gabe watched on silently, sadly, holding her hand tight to try and comfort her. She started off by introducing Gabe, unaware of how familiar with him I was. Then she told me how she was moving on and that's when the tears started, on both sides of the field that was cruelly separating us; even Gabe shed a tear. I knew that hearing her voice so choked with emotion was weighing heavily on his heart when he knew there was nothing he could really do to ease the pain. He pulled her into a hug, their heads still facing my resting place, and he rubbed his hand up and down her arm. Even though she was letting go, I knew that it didn't mean she would no longer visit my resting place; this brought some consolation, but only the smallest ounce.
There was another blow two months later.
I can remember it clearly as I watched, sickened, as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, that million dollar smile on his face. She bit her lip and looked down, a blush creeping into her cheeks from the look he was giving her. I remember gasping and clutching at my chest, tears springing into my eyes. I hadn't felt any kind of true physical feeling for so long, and yet the stabbing pain in my heart had been real, and I knew what had caused it. She had never blushed when I looked at her like that and I knew, with certainty, that he was better than me. Better in every way. He could give her exactly what she needed, more than I ever could and the love she felt for him.... it was stronger than the love she felt for me. Had felt. Because he'd stolen her from me, just like I'd been stolen from her by the cruelest twist of fate.
He put a finger under her chin and lifted her head. Then he spoke. He spoke three words that still echoed in my mind to this day and clawed at my already disfigured heart.
"I love you."
Her eyes had lit up, overjoyed that she had found someone who could overlook her biggest flaw: me. I was, or had been, the blemish that had almost wasted her life, the imperfection that had threatened to cause her to crumble completely. He had said that she had opened his eyes to the world when he'd almost lost hope, but it was at times like these when it was, without a doubt, the other way round.
I forced myself to turn away from them and the lives they had yet to spend together, looking towards the light as Norah had done six months before. It was my turn to let go. She had someone to protect her who could care for her more efficiently than I ever could in this state. However much I would have liked to deny it, I was eternally grateful for that, knowing I could rest easy when she had him around.
I breathed in deeply, everything becoming clear to me. I wasn't her soul mate as I... we had thought when I was alive. We weren't meant to be, which is probably why I paid such a price for misleading the path her life was supposed to take. It had been written in stone that she was meant to wed Gabe, meant to bear his children, meant to love him, to cherish him. I had gotten in the way of fate, I became an obstacle that had to be taken care of.
I opened my eyes and took a step forward towards what I hoped to be my new beginning. Even though our relationship wasn't meant to be, the feelings we had grown for each other had been real and Norah knew, as did Gabe, that it was something that would never heal completely.