Distance

Just my luck, it was raining.

I knew she'd be walking here. I mean, the pizza joint was barely a block away from her house, almost down the street. She'd be walking, and when she got here, she'd be soaked.

I was right too. She burst into the restaurant, almost catching the sleeve of her too-big jacket in the door, dripping all over the semi-clean tile floor. The busboy shot her a filthy look as she trooped over to us, removed her hat and dropped into the chair next to me.

"What's up?" She asked, a little breathlessly.

Mike took a bite out of his sandwich and regarded her cooly as he chewed.

"Eating." He mumbled around the food. She raised an eyebrow.
"I'd never have guessed."
"Want some?" I offered, pushing my french fries towards her. She shook her head.
"Not really."
"Shove it into her mouth." Mike's eyes were twinkling. "Shove it down her throat and let her orgasm."

The busboy's head whipped around to stare at us. Danica started laughing and snatched a couple french fries off my plate.

The cool skin of her hand brushed mine and I felt a jolt. God, I wanted to get laid.

I wanted to lose myself in Danica. Forget about Maria, forget about how bad it hurt when I saw her. I needed to feel her underneath me, feel her warm breath against my skin and my lips against her's. I needed to make her scream. I needed it, in this odd, perverse way. It was wrong, and terrible, and Danica could get seriously fucked up.

But I just didn't care.

***

The rain had slowed to a stop before we left the restaurant.

"I've gotta go next door." I said as Mike finished his grinder. Danica glanced over at me.
"For condoms?" Mike asked.
"Well, yeah. I mean, I'm not a complete idiot." Mike shook his head at me.
"Now, that's yet to be decided."

I wish I'd noticed how quiet Danica got when I mentioned condoms. I wished I'd realized how uncomfortable and nervous she was. I wished I'd read into her expression as she wandered the drugstore, touching all the items on the shelves, fiddling nervously with the magazines while I listened to the advice of the good-looking clerk who kept darting glances between me and Danica, and winked at her while I paid for a package of condoms.

'Cause then I'd have realized that she was having second thoughts about this, and maybe things wouldn't have ended up the way they had.

***

"Where to?" Mike asked, twirling around in the fluorescent light of the drugstore's sign. I shrugged.
"No idea. Could we walk somewhere?"
"It's getting dark." Danica said quietly.

I noticed she stepped closer to me. And I liked it, liked that she thought I could protect her.

"Let's just go in there." Mike gestured at the construction site. A house stood starkly against the fading sunset. A roof, four walls. I knew what Mike was getting at.

So we all strolled over. Mike and I lit cigarettes, while Danica snuck nervous glances over her shoulder at the road.

Danica had issues with her parents, especially when it came to drugs and smoking. I knew for a fact that Danica was responsible. Didn't smoke, no illegal drugs. I'd seen her drink, but I'd never seen her lose control. Her parents had nothing to worry about, but they did. And it made Danica nervous, made her feel like they didn't trust her. I thought that they trusted her, just not us.

Mike and I both jumped down into the construction site. Danica looked down at us, her eyes wide.

I scoped out the place, only half-listening to Mike trying to coax Dancia down.

"You'll drop me."
"I won't."
"Will too."
"Just jump. I'll catch you."
"I'll crush you."
"Look, I do this with Chrissy all the time. You won't crush me, and I won't drop you."

I heard snow crunching, and turned to see Danica standing near the fence. The drop wasn't any shorter, and I couldn't figure out what she'd accomplished, other than getting more snow in her shoes.

And then she jumped, dropping gracefully onto the dirt, the one space that had been cleared for some reason known only to the construction workers. Mike looked at her appreciatively.

"That was athletic of you."
"Yeah..." Danica said softly, dusting off her hands.

Then we moved on to trying to find a way into the house. We tried both doors, and then tried open the storage crates. No dice.

And then Mike opened the window.

"They didn't lock it?" Danica asked, incredulously.
"They're idiots." Mike laughed, and climbed in. I followed.

Danica didn't, and stood shivering out in the snow, watching.

There was nothing inside the house. Dirt floors, some construction tools scattered around.

"Aww. Billie, you can't do this to her. It's her first time, it can't be on a dirt floor." Mike said, scuffing his foot against the floor.
"Yeah...I know." I sighed, and climbed out.

Danica stood watching us. I couldn't read her expression, but she was shivering more noticeably now. Something was flickering behind her eyes.

We walked over to her. She sighed. I reached over, putting my hand gently against her cheek. She shivered and I moved a little closer, feeling her breath ghost along my cheek in little white puffs.

And then she pulled back, moving my hands off of her body with practiced calm. Mike sighed, somewhat impatiently.

"Do you even like Billie?" Mike asked abruptly, flicking his cigarette butt aside impatiently.

Danica perched on a pile of boards and looked at her shoes.

"I used to...last year, maybe even at the beginning of this year."
"Aww. I didn't know that." I said quietly, unsure of how to take that. But she'd said 'used to'. Past tense. This was sex, nothing more, nothing less.

***

We abandoned the construction site and went crunching off through the snow. Mike managed to break down a section of the fenced in area because, in his words, 'I highly doubt Danica's gonna let me throw her over'.

My shoes were filled with snow and I was cold. I couldn't think straight because I wanted to touch Danica so badly, but she was on Mike's other side, and I didn't think to move around to walk next to her.

The plan was to go up to the high school, wait there for the play to start. We had about an hour, probably more. My shoes were full of wet snow, and I couldn't feel my toes. Danica's cheeks were red, and her hair curled wetly against her skin.

She really was gorgeous, even if she didn't think so.

Mike and I got to talking, mostly to break the silence. Idle chatter turned to sex, because, let's face it, that was what was on both our minds. Danica listened quietly, occasionally adding a thought.

"Yeah...I really don't think it's that big of a deal, kissing boys." I said. Danica shrugged.
"I don't care about kissing girls either...when you get down to it, lips are lips."
"But you'd rather the lips belong to someone with a penis?" Mike asked sly.

She laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, I would. Besides, every time I've kissed a girl, I've been drunk. So it doesn't really count."

We all laughed at her expression, so serious in the glow of the streetlights. I honestly loved her laugh, it was so open and so goddamn loud.

I could spend hours with her, acting like an idiot just to hear that laugh.

***

The sidewalks were covered in snow, but water ran down the sides of the street like a miniature river. Danica crunched her way down the sidewalk, grimacing at the cold. Mike and I sloshed through the water.

And then Danica's mom drove by, on her way home. She offered a ride, which Mike refused to let me accept. I was pissed until he punched my arm as they drove away.

"You're an idiot."
"And why would that be?"
"Billie, we both reek of cigarettes. Her mom would not enjoy that smell in her car."
"Oh."

But we both knew that wasn't the exact reason he was calling me an idiot.