Screaming Dreams

Over the next two months, Edward and I rarely saw one another. I was busy with the wedding planning, or rather busy taking up space. My mother did all of the planning while I looked on from an outside point of view.

The last week of May seemed to be the busiest: I had a dress fitting on Monday; my bridesmaids had their fittings Tuesday; Arthur and I, along with my mother, tasted the cake Wednesday; and Mother and I were to visit my little cousins and ask them to be flower girls. It baffled me how my mother actually kept her sanity during all of this.

"Amelia, hurry please." My mother bustled into the dress shop ahead of me.

"Yes, Mother," I replied, almost running to catch up. I smiled to myself when I noticed the store: it was the same store where I first saw Edward.

Once inside, the tailor took my measurements and brought out my dress. It was beautiful. Perfect. Simple and very elegant. It had a v-neck and a slight train with slight beadwork. I loved it. I loved the whole set up of the wedding; I wouldn't have changed a thing. Except the bridegroom, of course.

While my mother was speaking to the tailor about the dress, I snuck off to the front of the shop. I approached a boy a little younger than me.

"Do you know a boy named Edward Masen? He works here, usually."

The boy looked slightly confused, then realization showed on his features. "Oh, yea, I know him." He frowned. "He hasn't been in for a while. That's actually why I'm working here. You see, my uncle is…" he trailed off.

Edward hasn't been in for a while. That's odd. Whenever the shop needed him, Edward would be there. He was a perfect employee, even if he was just a stock boy.

I decided would go and see him Friday, when I had some time away from mindless wedding details, and then headed back to where my mother and the tailor stood bickering. I missed the argument due to my being lost in thought. I wondered what could keep Edward from work. It had to be important, whatever it was.

The week passed more stressful than I thought possible, even for me. I was still surprised that my mother hadn't ran screaming out of town, pulling out a handful of her hair with each step.

On Friday, I told my mother and father than I needed some alone time, to think about things. They both understood completely. I didn't know why they bothered consoling me, telling me that everything was all right, it wouldn't help; I was getting married in fifteen days whether I agreed or disagreed.

I walked up the worn path to Edward's house. I knocked on the door and patiently waited for an answer.

After a few moments of waiting, Edward's mother answered the door. She looked horrible, to say the least. Her bronze-colored hair was in such disarray, her clothes looked like they had been worn for days, and tears flowed freely from her emerald eyes.

"Oh, Amelia," she wheezed before she was sent into a coughing fit.

"Mrs. Masen, what happened?" I walked up to her and steadied her before she could fall over.

"Let me get Edward for you," she smiled weakly. "I'm not feeling very well."

"Okay," I mumbled as she slowly climbed the narrow staircase, stumbling as she went. Again, I waited.

I was just about to sit down when Edward descended the staircase and stood in front of me. His beautiful features were pained. Tears streamed down his face just as his mother's had.

I immediately ran up to him and wrapped my arms around his torso. He stood at least six inches taller than me, but I felt him lay his cheek on my head and his long arms snake around my waste nonetheless. We awkwardly waddled to the nearest sofa and collapsed.

"What happened?" I whispered.

Edward's eyes caught mine. The pain behind them made tears form in my own hazel ones.

"Father," was all he said. I understood instantly. His father was in horrible condition. He had the Spanish Influenza. The doctors hadn't expected him to live past June, and apparently they were right.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. I stroked his cheek and rubbed his back, trying to comfort him. We sat like that for hours, both of us crying. I couldn't imagine losing my father. Thinking of that sent me into another round of fresh tears.

A little before the sun set behind the city, Edward wiped his eyes, freeing them of tears. I watched him curiously through my blurry vision.

"Please don't do that," he said while wiping away my own tears. "You're too beautiful to cry."

I felt my cheeks heat up as he said that. A small smile played across his lips, but didn't touch his eyes. Along with his smile came the urge to reach up, grab his face, and kiss him like there was no tomorrow. I calmed myself, saying it was a foolish in-the-moment type of thing. I then thought about the wedding and the new date. I couldn't tell Edward about that now; I couldn't bare to see him cry again.

"You know, there's been something on my mind for a while now." He took my hands in his and stared into my eyes. "I care more for you than I do for anyone else in this world."

This would definitely be the wrong time to tell Edward about the new wedding date.

"I love you, Amelia Rae Collier, and I always will. I hate that I can't buy you fancy rings and nice clothes, but I can give you so much more: I can give you my love. I just…" he trailed off. I looked away, blushing furiously. "I wish you would reconsider this marriage to Arthur, please."

I was speechless. I was flattered. I was confused. I was in love with him, and I didn't know what to do. If I married Arthur, my heart would have a hole in it for all of eternity. But, if I chose Edward, I would be happy. All in the world would be right. Life would be like a fairy tale. This was too much for me to think of now.

"Edward," I whispered. "I love you more than anything, but.." I trailed off. "I can't do this now." Another round of tears fell streamed down my cheek.

"I'm just asking for you to think about it." He smiled slightly. This one didn't reach his eyes either.

Overwhelmed, I slowly took his face in mine and brought my face to meet his. He realized what I was doing and immediately closed the small gap between us. This time I didn't hold anything back. The part of me that told me this was wrong was pushed aside by the part of me that wanted this more than anything.

After what felt like an eternity, I pulled away. Edward opened his eyes in shock.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked.

"No," I laughed. "It was perfect, really." And it was. I felt light as a feather. I felt like my bones turned to jelly. I felt wonderful. "It's just getting late." I sighed.

Edward slowly nodded.

"I'll visit as soon as I can," I promised, taking his face in my hands again.

"I'll be waiting," he smiled.

We shared a quick kiss before I left. He offered to walk me home, but I told him he needed to help his now-sick mother.

I walked home, completely lost in thought. I had fifteen days until I gave myself to a man I didn't love. My mother would never approve of the man I did love. And there was no way I could back out of this wedding.

At least I got a good kiss from Edward before I sent myself straight to hell.