Screaming Dreams

The next ten days passed in a blur. Mother and I had countless details left to work out and some that had already been done were messing up. It felt like the world had spun off its axis and was tumbling through space in no general direction. Everything was hectic. More fittings, getting flowers, receiving early presents, getting late invitations, organizing catering, making last-minute changes; one thing after the other seemed to happen and I had no control over it. Mother ran everything as usual, and for that, I was glad.

I woke up quickly on one rather sunny morning. I remember that I hadn't had anything planned for today, so I hurriedly got ready, told my parents I needed a day at the beach, and set off for Edward's house. I hadn't seen him since that night I found out his father died, and I desperately needed to tell him of the wedding date change.

The weather could not have been more perfect: the sky was a clear, bright blue and the sun shone without the disruption of clouds. A slight breeze was blowing, but that was acceptable. It is Chicago after all.

When I reached Edward's house, I knocked on the door and waited. After a minute or so I knocked again. Then I waited some more. I stood there for a good quarter of an hour before I started to worry. I took a quick peek in the window, showing an empty house, and then set off to the store. I thought someone there should be able to tell me what had happened.

Once at the store, I asked the elderly clerk if she knew anything about Edward Masen and if so, what had happened to him.

"Oh, dear, haven't you heard? He's in the hospital. The poor boy has the influenza."

My heart dropped into my stomach and I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I felt like I was about to throw up.

The clerk gently patted my arm in a reassuring manner. "I'll give you directions to the hospital, dear. Don't worry. Everything will be alright," she said.

I followed the directions that she gave me in a hurry. I had hoped that he was still well enough to talk to me. Somewhere deep inside I felt that I was too late. I shoved that feeling aside when I approached a very handsome, golden haired doctor.

"Do you have a patient by the name of Edward Masen, or perhaps, Elizabeth Masen?" My words rushed out so fast that I thought the doctor missed them; his face looked oddly dumbfounded.

He quickly regained his composure and answered in a sorrowful voice, "I'm sorry, miss, but he's passed. Just last night, I'm afraid."

I simply stared into his strange ocher eyes. "He's dead," I said more to myself than the doctor. I could feel a tear slide down my cheek as the realization set it.

"I'm so sorry." He sounded truly sincere and looked as though he was a bit guilty, like Edward's death was his fault. But it couldn't have been. It was simply a misfortunate accident. It was obviously Edward's time to pass and time for me to move on. Maybe it was a sign saying that I really should be with Arthur. Or a sign that Edward thought I shouldn't be with Arthur and he couldn't handle it.

I stopped my thoughts from roaming any farther. I mumbled a weak 'thank you' to the doctor and let my feet lead my home while my mind was in a coma-like state. I still couldn't believe that Edward was not with us: I had not let myself think the word "dead." I guess there was nothing else to do except wait for the wedding and hope that Arthur would fill the gap that Edward left in my heart.

So, as I laid in bed, waiting for sleep to come, I imagined what mine and Arthur's children would look like. Every now and then, a pale, bronze-haired boy would slip into my thoughts and I would cry. Then, I would try to picture Arthur and I happy and old. Eventually, sleep washed over my exhausted body and I fell into a dreamless slumber.