She Said, She Said

Friday. A day to be out with your friends, having fun, partying, whatever. And here I am, sitting in the Resource room, reading. I’ve never been much of a reader, but now that I have nothing to do, and it’s actually quiet…well, I can concentrate, and everything makes sense. But, not for long.

“Hey, darling!” yelled Sylvia as she walked towards me. The woman standing a few feet away from us turned around and shushed us. When she turned away, Sylvia made a face at her back. I couldn’t help but giggle. “What’cha doin’?” Sylvia asked, trying to look at what I was reading.

I shrugged. “Oh, nothing. You know, just staring at a book, as usual.”

Sylvia rolled her eyes. “Okay, Smart One. Just came to tell you we’re going to watch a movie. Wanna join?”

Sighing, I nodded. After putting the book back, we both exited the room. On the way to our room, I kept thinking about Caleb. Ever since our little session yesterday, he hadn’t said a word to me. Not even to tell me how annoying I was. I admit, it was a relief to my ears to not be able to hear his voice, but I still felt a little bad for yelling at him like that. Maybe he was a jerk, but that didn’t give me the right to take my anger out on him like that.

“Why so down?” Sylvia asked, just as we were about to enter our room. I shook my head. Shrugging, she threw open the door, and rolled herself in. Sitting on my bed was none other than Lacey. She looked up, waved, and then went back to reading her book. Sitting on Sylvia’s bed was Noel. He smiled at us.

“Let’s pick a movie, and then head over to Rex’s, yeah?” Sylvia mumbled as she rummaged through one of her drawers.

“We’re going to Rex’s room?” I asked, a bit nervous.

“Yup.”

I nodded, and began fiddling with the hem of my shirt.

In a few minutes, we were out of the door. I found out that Rex’s room was on the same floor as Noel’s. We stopped in front of a door marked with the numbers 353. As we entered, the smell of medicine entered my nose. I tried not to gag. The room was dark, and definitely larger than any of the other rooms I had seen. Sitting on the bed – which was in the middle of the room – was Rex. His brown hair was rumpled, and it looked as if he had just woken up.

"Hola!" Sylvia exclaimed. Rex smiled at her through glazed over eyes.

After the greetings were said, there was a heavy silence that hung over the room. Rex looked at his hands as if they were the most interesting things he'd ever seen. Lacey looked down at her shoes, and leaned her head against the door. Sylvia was trying to figure out how to work the DVD player.

“There we go!” Sylvia exclaimed, breaking the silence. Rex looked up at her, confused. Noel, and Lacey looked relieved. I sighed.

We all settled on the couches that were in one corner of the room. I felt like a stranger suddenly. Sylvia and the others probably did this all the time, but I had no idea what to do. Were they feeling awkward because of me?

I really hoped not.

“Who wants popcorn?” Lacey asked, halfway through the movie. We all mumbled a “yes, please” and Lacey got into her wheelchair, and went out the door. I didn’t know what movie we were watching; I didn't pay attention.

“Sylvia!” Rex yelled suddenly. I almost fell off the couch; it was so unexpected.

“What’s wrong?” Sylvia asked, worry clear in her eyes.

“I don’t wanna be here! Get me out!” He flailed his arms as he said those words.

Sylvia quickly got into her wheelchair, and disappeared out of the room. Noel looked uncomfortable, and smiled weakly at me. Then, slowly, he rolled his wheelchair toward Rex, who was still shouting. I didn’t know what to do, so I got into my wheelchair, and got out of there. As I was wheeling myself down the hallway, I felt like a coward for leaving like that. But that was too much. I sniffed, and realized I was crying. The path was becoming blurry, and I couldn’t see a thing. Screeching to a sudden stop, I rubbed at my eyes.

“Stop, stop, stop,” I mumbled to myself, trying to take deep breaths. Strands of my blonde hair kept falling into my face; I pushed back at them angrily. I wiped at my nose with the back of my hand. I probably look like a truck ran over me. I started crying all over again when I realized how stupid that statement was. It reminded me of the accident so much that I felt like jumping off of a tall building.

What was this? Some kind of emotional breakdown?

My head hurt, and I got a sudden pain in my thighs that felt like someone was hitting them with a hammer. My vision was blurrier than before; I could barely see where I was. Third floor, I reminded myself. I needed to get to the elevator, except I had no idea where it was. I wheeled myself down the hallway. There was a turn to the left, and a turn to the right. I didn’t know which way to go. Desperate, I quickly turned right. I saw there was a dead end to this hallway. What do I do now?

I turned back. I wheeled myself straight into the left hallway. I quickly glanced at the doors that I passed, and realized all of them were closed. There was another turn to the left. I quickly took that way, hoping to find someone that could help me get back to Sylvia. You shouldn’t have left, you stupid dumb-ass, I scolded myself. The tears were gone by now; my eyes felt dried up, and they stung every time I blinked. There was a dead end to this hallway as well, I noticed.

I was about to turn around when I heard a voice behind me.

“Valerie?”

I turned around.

It was Samuel. I was so happy to see him, I almost jumped out of my wheelchair, and crawled over to kiss his feet.

“Samuel!” I exclaimed, wiping at my eyes with my hands.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking at me nervously.

I shook my head. “Nothing, nothing. I just…got lost.”

“Oh.” He smiled. “Well, I was going over to Rex’s room ‘cause Sylvia told me we were watching a movie or somethin’. You wanna come?”

“Um, yeah. Sure.” I nodded, and starting following him. As we were walking there – well, he was walking; I was in my wheelchair – I looked around, and tried to memorize the hallways.

We stopped in front of Room 353. The door was closed. Samuel looked at me, and then knocked. We heard someone moving inside. There was a rustling sound heard as someone tried to open the door. After a few more seconds of mumbling, and door shaking, the door opened to a smiling Lacey. She looked at Samuel, then at me.

“Valerie! Where’d you go?” She had a confused look on her face. I felt bad for lying, but I had to.

“I just needed to pee really badly, and then I got lost. Then, Samuel found me.”

“Oh.” She nodded as if she’d heard it all before, and ushered us in. Rex wasn’t in his bed anymore, I noticed. I wondered where he was.

“Yo, yo, yo!” Sylvia yelled in a deep voice. I rolled my eyes at her. She smirked.

“Hey, Val,” Nathan said, appearing behind Sylvia.

“Oh. Hey, Nathan.”

I looked behind him to check for Caleb, but he wasn’t there. I didn’t know why I looked. I just kind of expected him to be there.

“Can we please get back to the movie now?” Lacey whined.

Sylvia pressed a button on the remote control she was holding, and the picture on the TV screen started moving. Nobody mentioned Rex. That’s odd, I thought. This was his room after all.

I wanted to ask but it looked as if everyone was into the movie. I sighed to myself, and went to sit beside Sylvia on the couch.

*

“Come on, sleeping beauty, time to wake up,” a voice said in my ear. I shot up, and winced when a searing pain shot through my neck. I wiped at my face; there was drool on the side of lip. Sylvia was trying to look disgusted, but giggled. I blinked my heavy eyelids, and asked the question that seemed the most obvious at that moment.

“Where am I?”

“You’re in Rex’s room – who’s not here at the moment – and we were watching a movie when you fell asleep. When the movie ended, I noticed oh-so-suddenly that you were drooling preciously on my lovely little shirt, so I woke you up,” Valerie said, taking a deep breath. “Now, if you don’t mind, we have to go, so get your bum up, and let’s get out before they make us clean this mess.”

I stretched my arms up above my head, and rolled my neck around. I was exhausted, to say the least.

As we all exited the room, I glanced at Rex’s unmade bed, and felt a sudden rush of emotion come over me. I really shouldn’t have left like that. When I heard Sylvia’s voice calling my name, I quickly got out of there, and followed them down the hallway. Nathan and Samuel were having a deep conversation about something up ahead. Sylvia was going really fast, and Lacey was trying to catch up to her. Noel was trying not to laugh at them. Again, that familiar feeling came over me: the feeling of being unwanted. I ignored it, and tried to catch up to Sylvia.

We all decided to go to the Resource room. Sylvia figured that’s where most of the people were going to be, seeing as this was a Friday and all. When we reached the room we were looking for, I went in, and tried to find the book I had been reading earlier. Having no luck, I picked another one, and looked around for a quiet place to sit. That’s when I noticed Caleb sitting in a corner of the room with his head on his knees. Sunlight was shining on his head, making his hair looking lighter than it actually was. I didn’t know what came over me right then, but I decided that I would give him another chance at friendship. So what if we’d nearly killed each other last time? I was sure we would get somewhere this time.

When I was directly in front of Caleb, I lowered myself into an armchair nearby, and started reading, pretending not to notice him. I waited for him to leave or say something rude. But nothing came. He was absolutely quiet, and didn’t seem to notice me.

I imagined looking at the both of us through someone else’s eyes: A boy, and a girl sitting under the warm rays of the sun, quite close to each other, yet so far apart.

That’s when I realized I was trying to make friends with a boy who was quite frankly trying to ruin my life, and make it worse than it already was.

Yet, oddly enough, I felt at peace right then.

Nothing mattered in those few moments.

Those moments that would probably get ruined when Caleb would notice me there.

But I decided I would enjoy it while I could.