Slip Into This Tragedy

Chapter 4
Frank’s POV

When I woke up, my head was throbbing. I heard voices, but they were in a different room so I couldn’t make them out. I opened my eyes and flinched at the bright light in the room, flooding in through the windows. I looked around and noticed that I was laying on the couch in the basement of Gerard’s house. I tried to remember how I got there, but the last thing I remembered was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking.

I heard the stairs creaking as someone came down. I sat up slowly, and made room on the couch for Sam as she walked over to me with a worried look on her face. She stared down at her hands, which is a bad sign, Sam is almost never nervous.

“Frank,” she begin, “what happened to Gerard? He is, well, he’s not good,” She glanced over at me out of the corner of her eyes. I thought back to yesterday, before I started drinking. I had tried to force Gerard to take go farther then he was ready to, because it would rip up past scars that I didn’t know about. I spent all of the afternoon worrying about him, but I made it seem like I was mad at him. I’m such a fuck up. Then something registered in my mind.

“What’s wrong with Gerard?” I asked, panic consuming me. Sam looked up at me, unsure of what to tell me.

“Mikey went upstairs last night, and found Gerard had returned to his, er, old habits,” Sam answered, trying to make it seem like nothing had happened. My mind went into overdrive.

“Which old habits?” Gerard had several old habits, and none of them were good.

Gerard’s POV

He hates me. I’m just a broken person who can’t bear to fuck him, or anyone else because of Bert. Bert fucked my life up, fucked me up, and I don’t know how to fix it. I needed to be there for Frank, because I know his dad leaving him is hurting him, but instead I was a selfish asshole; a fuck up.

Last night I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t stand hurting the person I care about most. Right after band practice I went up stairs and took out my booze that I have in my room, and drained a good amount of it. Completely drunk, I started slashing my wrists, enjoying the pain wash over me. None of the cuts were deep, or bleeding a lot; I wasn’t trying to kill myself, I just needed an escape. I was sitting on my floor, drunkenly watching the blood trickle out of my veins when I heard a knock on my door.

“Gee?” I heard Mikey’s worried voice. When I didn’t answer, he opened the door and walked in. When he saw me, his jaw dropped and he ran over. “Gee! What happened? Why’d you do this?” When I didn’t answer Mikey dragged me onto my bed. That’s when he saw the empty bottles of various alcohols. “Oh, Gerard, what happened?”

I lost it. Tears started pouring from my eyes, running off my cheeks. Mikey wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back soothingly. Even though I’m older then him, he is always stuck taking care of me.

“I-I couldn’t do it Mikey! Because of B-Bert,” I chocked out in between sobs. Mikey hugged me tighter at the mention of Bert. He was the only one who knew about my horrible relationship with Bert. He was the only one who knew that Bert forced me to fuck him. He was the only one who knew that Bert punched me, and pulled my hair out, when I would squirm when he dry fucked me, or when I protested him. He only knew because he would see me when I came home beaten and bruised, and I would waste my days in my room drinking. He helped me get rid of Bert, and stop drinking like I did.

I know I have to tell Frank soon, so he knows that I love him and I want to, but I just can’t. Frank is my ray of sunshine in my life, even in the dark time with Bert. Even when I was with Bert, I wanted to be with Frank. I thought about him all the time, but it was only a few months ago that I was finally able to leave Bert and go to Frank.

“Gerard, it’s okay. I’m sure Frank isn’t mad at you. It’s okay Gee,” he kept repeating over and over until my sobs died down. After a while I asked Mikey if he could bring Frank up so I could tell him why I can’t do it. I needed to tell him that I love him, so much. Mikey got up and left the room to get Frank. I wiped the stray tears from my face, and sat up, trying to look okay for my Frankie. A few minutes Mikey came back, with a sad expression on his face.

“Frank is, well, he’s really drunk. He is slurring his words so much I could hardly understand him. I’m sorry Gee.” He watched my expression, but it didn’t change, because inside I was frozen. Frank was drunk. He’s not the type who gets drunk much. He drinks all the time, but he hardly ever gets drunk. Something must really be wrong.

“I’m gonna go to bed. Night,” I told Mikey, just to get him out of my room. I figured that sleeping wasn’t a bad idea, I can’t think when I sleep. I knew I wouldn’t be able to just fall asleep, so I reached into my dresser and grabbed strong sleeping pills, popped a few, then fell into a blissful calm sleep.

When I woke up, all the events from last night came flooding back to me. The one thought that kept running around in my head was that I needed to talk to Frank. I took a few Tylenol to help the horrible headache from my hangover, then went downstairs into the kitchen to get coffee and think about how I would tell Frank. I had just poured myself a cup of coffee when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw a sleepy Frank, his hair sticking out everywhere, and his eyeliner from last night smeared.

“I smelled coffee…” He mumbled, walking over to where I was standing. He stole my coffee cup from me, smiling his adorable Frank smile, and took a long sip. He put the cup onto the counter, smirking. Then I felt his lips collide with mine. His tongue explored my mouth, and I was smiled when I tasted the coffee on his tongue.

“I’m so sorry Gee. I freaked out yesterday, cause I realized that someone hurt you. Someone hurt me Gee, and it scared me,” Frank apologized, as he pulled slightly away from me, so his lips were only an inch or two away from mine.

“I’m sorry too Frank. I love you so much. But there’s something you have to know about my past…” I explained the whole thing to Frank. He was distorted in disgust with Bert by the time I finished.

“I’m sorry for trying to push you. We can do it whenever you’re ready. I love you so much Gee. I can wait,” he whispered. I closed the gap between us and kissed him a passionately as I was capable of.

“I love you too,” I whispered back.

“Oh, uh, hey guys,” A surprised Mikey said when he walked into the kitchen and found us kissing, me sitting on the counter, with Frank sitting on my lap. “I wanted coffee,” he said as he grabbed two coffee cups and filled them up with caffeinated goodness. After he left the kitchen, Frank and I looked at each other and started laughing.

“I guess I’m not the only Iero who stayed the night here,” Frank giggled. Then I got an idea.