With Arrows, With Poise

Gee's P.O.V

I groaned and rolled over, facing Gerard. An excruciating pain shot through my wrist. "Ahhhhhh, fuck" I mumbled sitting up and applying pressure to it.
"I told you, didn't I?" Gerard mumbled licking his lips and sitting up. He rubbed his eyes.
"Do you really think I understood you, Gerard?" I said rather crankily. The pain was going to make my day shit.
He chuckled and gently slid his finger down my cheek. "Don't let it make your day bad"
"I'll try" I mumbled
"Besides, we have to go shopping and get Mikey a birthday present"
"Holy shit! His birthdays tomorrow isn't it?" I asked.
"Yup! The little bugger is turning 25" he giggled.
"Aw, that's cute" I smiled. I flung the blankets off me and stood up. "Well, lets get dressed". I felt his hand on the small of my back as I rummaged through clothes. I threw him a Black Flag t-shirt and a pair of his ripped pants. I quickly grabbed my black stretch pants and rainbow tank top. "You need new pants, babe" I smiled slightly and stood up fully, his hand still on my back. He gently kissed my forehead.
"If we have time we'll get some new clothes" he smiled, lips still on my forehead.
"Okay" I said quietly, then walked into the bathroom to change. Gerard followed in behind me silently. I wouldn't of known he was there if I didn't turn around. My shirt was half on when I stopped and stared. "What the fuck?"
"You didn't expect me to get changed out there, did you?" he asked innocently as he slipped on his pants.
I chuckled and slipped on my shirt "You're too tempting, Rard" I slipped my PJ pants off, I watched from the corner of my eye as he bit his lip
"I think you are" he smirked and gently slid his hand around my back and pulled me forward.
I pulled away and picked up my black pants from the bathroom floor. "I thought it was too soon?" I asked in a mocking tone as I slipped my pants on.
"It is, don't you think?" he asked with a sound of regret in his voice.
I nodded and stared at him. "Yeah, I agree with you, Rard. It's good to wait"
He chuckled and slid the door open "'Cause once you get a taste of the Rardster..."
"Shut up, Gerard" I interrupted stepping out in front of him, walking to the front. He mumbled stuff to himself as we slipped on our shoes.
"Where are you two going?" Mikey asked suspiciously, peering up from his book.
Gerard and I looked at each other then shrugged "To the mall" Gerard said casually, slipping on his sunglasses.
"What ever" he mumbled, then turned his attention back to his thick book.

"What are we gonna get him?" I asked Gerard as he glanced in at the stores.
"I don't know. Maybe a book or something" he suggested.
I slapped my forehead with my free hand, the other laced with Gerard's long bony fingers "Fuck, man. You don't even know what your own brother likes"
He snickered "What if we just get him a band t-shirt?" he asked
"You really don't want to be here, do you?" I asked and gave his hand a quick squeeze.
"Not really" he replied honestly.
I shook my head "I will never understand you, Gerard. First you say we have to, now you don't want to"
"I never said I wanted to" he argued "We have to because its his birthday"
"Bah!" I breathed as we walked into the CD store. "Men, I swear"
He laughed and eyed the Family Guy season sitting on the shelf in the front of the store.
"He likes Family Guy?" I asked
He reached for it and picked it up. "Yep. We just found him his birthday gift. See anything you like?" he asked.
"Uh.. I don't know.. I'm only at the front of the store" I smirked.
He stepped in further among the teenage kids and we browsed at movies, Cd's and merch. Nothing in particular I liked. "Nah, there's nothing"
"Are you sure?" he asked before we stepped out into the crowded mall.
"100%" I nodded slightly. "Kinda hungry though"
He rubbed his stomach with his free hand "Me too" he said in a girl voice "I need to feed my baby"
I smiled as we stepped on the escalator to head to the food court. People with shopping bags surrounded us, talking about the latest news and various other chatter.
"Where do you want to eat?" he asked "There's fat food, fat food, fat food and uh.." he scanned to the far right "salad"
"Lets go to Subway and split a 12 inch" I suggested.
"Sure" he smiled and walked up to the Subway. The line was forever long, but it was okay. It gave us time to argue over what we wanted on the sub. We finally settled for a Chicken Teryaki, my favorite.
We sat down at a clean table and he handed me half my sub. It smelt delicious. "Thanks" I smiled, taking a bite.
"You're welcome, babe" he winked and chewed.
"Gerard, would you ever want to be a daddy?" I asked not even thinking of his reaction.
He choked on his sub. I thought that would happen. He quickly grabbed the Orange juice and took a swig to wash it down.
"It's a little early to be thinking that.." he hesitated, then continued "But someday, maybe"
I smirked "I didn't mean right now anyways."
"You're saying you'd like to be a mommy?" he asked quirking his 'brow.
I shrugged and took a small bite into the delicious sub. "When ever I quit alcohol"
He looked at me when I said that, and a serious look spread across his face. He reached over at took my hand, gently rubbing it with his thumb. "Babe, I hope you stop soon. I know how hard it is but please try harder"
"Aw, Rard. I'm so sorry. I will" I promised. I quit heroin for him, so why not alcohol? Maybe because it was in my blood, after all, my dad was one and my mom drank herself to death..
I felt Gerard's hand on my face "Are you okay?" he whispered.
"I'm fine, why?" my voice cracked
"Gee, you're crying" he said quietly, wiping my tears away. I hadn't even realized until Gerard said.
"Are you serious?" I sniffed. I quickly put my hood up and looked down at the Subway paper that my sub was once in.
"its okay to cry" Gerard said in a soothing tone. I could tell he was standing beside me, he was rubbing my back. I stood up quickly and hugged him. I didn't care what the people beside us thought, I needed a fucking hug. "It's okay" he whispered, rubbing my back gently. "Why don't we go to Star bucks?"
I gently pulled away from him "Yeah, sounds cool"
He smiled and put his hand on the small of my back, leading me out through the traffic of people. We stepped onto the escalator and gently slid down the mall. I looked at the view of the stores getting even more eye level before we stepped off and headed across the street to Star bucks.

"Why were you crying?" he asked with concern in his voice. He Lent in so no one could hear.
"I was just thinking about why I'm struggling with alcohol" I sighed and looked down at my Cafe Mocha.
"And what did you come up with?" he asked. His jaw length hair slid down his face as he took a sip of his latte.
"My dad is an alcoholic, and my mom drank herself to ..death" I said death slowly. I hated that word, and I hated the meaning even more. I took a deep breath and Gerard's hand was on top of mine. "So either way, I was doomed" I finished.
Gerard shook his head slightly "You're not doomed, babe. Farthest thing. I'm going to help you"
I smiled weakly and took a sip of the Mocha. "Thanks"
"Anything for you" he winked and took another sip of latte.
"You're so understandable, Rards" I sighed and smiled. How could someone like me be loved by such a sweet guy? It all seemed like a big fairy tale.
"I just know what you're going through, thats all" he smirked and slid his shades on. "Wanna head back?"
I grabbed my coffee from the two person table and stood up. I laced my hand around Gerard's and we walked out of Star bucks. It was a silent ride back, but it gave me time to think harder about anything but the craving for liquor. I thought about the future, what it'd be like with Gerard and how miserable it would be without him. I pictured the kids and the experience of being a mom, and how silent it would be if I were all alone. I decided I'd rather put up with the kids, I mean, they'll grow up eventually and Gerard and I would grow old together. It was a little too soon to be thinking of grow old. We weren't even 40 yet.
"Gee" Gerard said softly, shaking me.
I lifted my head away from his chest. I hadn't realized I fell asleep. "Yeah?" I asked
"It's time to go onto the bus" he said
I nodded and slipped out of the cab. I shut the door and walked around to the parking lot, Gerard running to catch up
"Gee" he breathed as I ran into the back bunk and sunk my head into the pillow to cry again. I had no idea as of why I was, the tears just wouldn't stop. Maybe lack of alcohol? He rubbed my back and slid in next to me. "What's wrong?"
I sniffled and turned to face him. "I don't know" I sobbed and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I just need someone to hug"
His hands gently wrapped around my back and I could feel him gently rubbing my hip with his thumb. "I'm always here" he whispered.
"I know.. and I'm so thankful for that" I whispered as a line of tears slid down my face.
He pulled me closer to him and smiled. I couldn't help but smile back. I noticed a line of hair was starting to fall down his cheek, I didn't want him to let go of me so I gently pushed it back behind his ear.
"Thanks" he whispered gently planting a kiss on my lips. I kissed him back and buried my head in his chest, falling asleep to the gentle sound of his heart beat.

Sam's P.O.V

My phone rang loudly. It startled me. I quickly flipped it open.
"Hello?" I asked unsure of who was calling me.
"Mommy!" Teresa beamed into the other line.
I quickly looked at the guys, then stood up and walked outside. "Hey, sweets. Are you at nannies?" I asked rather quietly in case someone ---Frank--- was eavesdropping.
"Yeah. We're having lots of fun" she giggled
"Good. How was school?" I asked
"Ooh, mommy! It was so much fun! I have a whole bunch of friends"
"Good! See, I told you! Everyone there is nice" I smiled. It lifted the heavy weight off my chest
"You were right mommy. When are you coming home?" she asked with a sound of sadness.
I bit my lip and looked up at the clouds "Not for a while"
"Oh" she said quietly "That's okay, mommy. I'll see you soon"
"Yes, you will. I promise" and I was going to keep this promise.
"I love you."
"Love you too"
"Bye"
I flipped my phone down and shoved it back into my pocket. I sighed and pulled my eyes down to the earth. I rubbed my eyes and ran my hands through my hair. At least she's safe, I told myself.
"Hey, who was that?" Frank asked.
I jumped and quickly turned to face him "No one."
His eye brows pulled together in curiosity. "You sure?" he asked
"Not to be rude, but its none of your business. I'll.. its.. its something I'll tell when I'm ready" I sighed. I felt like a bitch for what I just said. Hopefully it didn't come out the wrong way. I guess it didn't, Frank put his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him.
"It's okay, I understand" he smiled assuringly.
"Thanks" I breathed. I was always curious as to how he was so understanding? Most men weren't. It bothered me, but I shouldn't complain.
"Are you ready?" Ray asked walking out of the bus to the arena.
"It's show time?" I asked following them.
"Uh, yeah" Bob said slapping me gently upside my head."Dummy"
"Oh, stop!" Tina exclaimed, glancing back at us over Ray's arm "You're such a wiener, Bob"
"Ha! She has my side" I nodded slightly and gave Tina a thumbs up.
"Us girls stick together" she winked and turned around
"Us girls stick together" he mocked, scrunching his chubby face up.
I snorted as Tina scowled at Bob. "If Ray's arm wasn't around me..." she scolded
"Ooh!" he teased waving his fingers
"Just you wait!" she warned. Ray tightened his grip around her waist.
"Babe, stop the threats" he whispered as we walked in back stage. She took one last glare at Bob.
I sat down on the bean bag chair and crossed my right leg over my left knee. "What're we gonna do?" I asked
"Well, once I'm done setting up you fools set up" Aaron smirked, slipping off his jacket.
"No shit" I rolled my eyes and he walked up stage. I kept myself occupied by humming old tunes in my head.

After the show and the autographs I was in the mood to party.
"Hey, Frank, wanna party?" I asked
"Yeah, sure" he smiled "Haven't partied in a long time. Who has the booze?" he asked.
I only knew of one person. I bit my lip and thought of the fight we had. "Gee.." I said doubtfully.
"Well, it doesn't hurt to ask" he smiled and gave me the hope. He was right, it didn't.
I turned around to go ask Gee. It was weird seeing her without Gerard. "Gee..." I began rather quietly. She was buzzed.
"Yep?" she asked
"Wanna party with me and Frank?" I asked in hope.
A smile spread across her buzzed face. "Hell yeah, man. Lets go get my shit". Sometimes having a drunk friend paid off. We walked to the van and grabbed every liquor she had imaginable. She stored allot for her bad days, and I'm sure Gerard didn't know about this. She grabbed something else but I didn't catch what it was. "Lets go" she urged walking to a grassy area.
"Right here?" I asked rather curious.
"Yeah. If I go inside..." she trailed off, looking at the bus.
"Right" I said quickly sitting down. I hadn't even realized Frank and Tina joined us. "Lets get cruunk!" I hollered, sticking the alcohol in the air.
"To drunkenness!" Tina said holding hers up
"To drunkenness!" we clicked the bottles together and took a massive first drink. It felt good flowing through my system, so I drank a hell of allot more.
Hours later we were wasted. We should've been strapped to a chair we were so out of it.
"this is fucking crazy" Tina slurred, laying back and staring up at the hazy sky. "Look at that cow" she laughed.
"WHAT" Gee yelled. She seemed to be in deep convo with a nearby bush. She kicked it "Rh, fuck you" she hissed.
"What did it do?" I asked wobbling my way over.
"It tried to eat my leg" she frowned taking another swig.
I laughed a little too loud. "Tree's aren't healthy"
"You got that right!" she mumbled. She looked at me and her eyes seemed to sparkle "Hey, wanna come with me to do something?" she asked --tried to ask-- quietly.
"Sure" I shrugged and followed her behind our van. I noticed 2 white sticks in her hand. "Cigarettes? What's so rebel about that?" I asked
"Fuck you and rebels! This ain't no cancer stick" she growled and handed me one "Its a dope stick" she snorted.
"I thought you quit?" I asked as she lit it for me. I inhaled the thick smoke, my brain felt weightless.
"Quit heroin" she said "I'm not addicted to this, I just wanted to use it up" she shrugged and took a deep inhale of hers.
"How thoughtful of you to think of me in this time" I mumbled exhaling sharply.
"You're welcome" she said cheerfully. The drugs must have taken effect.
I finished the last of mine before I flicked it out. "Wanna head back? They probably think we're dead" I giggled.
"Kay" she smiled and hopped out from behind the van. "ROAR!" she yelled and started to run towards Frank and Tina. I was too busy being a loner, and just decided to skip back.
"What took you so long?" Frank asked, more like slurred.
"Nothing" I sang "lets go get some fucking food"
"You know what, we should" Tina agreed and stood up. "I'm hungry"
"All you do is sit all day" Frank argued as we all walked onto the bus
"So? I still get hungry. Sitting takes al.. Ooop!" she mumbled as she tripped on the last step.
Frank, Gee and I were crying laughing so hard. "Get a load of that!" Frank laughed and pointed at Tina who had her arms crossed.
"You fuckers suck!" she pointed back and took off. I wiped my tears away and stepped up onto the bus
"You guys had a party?!" Bob asked "And you didn't invite me?!"
"Hello, we were right outside!" Frank pointed out "You could've walked out you lazy pimp"
"A party!?" Gerard yelled from the back. My brain was too light to put up any type of argument. I could barley keep my mind on what was happening at this moment, it always wanted to wonder off into some colorful world.
"What about a party?" Gerard hissed eyeing me, Frank and Gee with eyes of betrayal.
I raised my arms in surrender "Nothing to do with it"
"Yeah, what she said" Frank smiled innocently.
"thanks fuckers" Gee breathed, then turned to look at Gerard "There wasn't a party, dolly. I'm fine" she smiled her best smile
He shook his head in disapproval. "we need to talk" he said, pulling Gee back into the bathroom.
"Uhooooooooh" I said, my eyes wide open. I looked at Frank who shrugged
"She put her self into that" he said wrapping his arm around my waist. "Say" he winked and slowly walked me toward the bunk area. I was too high for butterflies. I sat in his bunk, it was so much bigger than I imagined. I loved how all the candles were lit, giving off that hint smell of vanilla.
"I love the candles" I smiled before he kissed me.
"Aren't they nice?" he breathed into my lips and kissed me hard. I slid my legs down so he could lay comfortably on me. His legs pinned me down to the bunk as our tongues collided.
Our clothes slid off and the kissing was more intense. I couldn't believe this. High as a kite and both drunk as fuck. I pictured this moment a little more.. romantic.. well, I guess the candles were romantic. I loved the candles.
I moaned silently as he went inside. He kissed my neck and that made it even better. I could barley keep my eyes open, the drugs made me so tired.
I was at my peak and my eyes shot open. "Frank" I moaned and ran my nails down his back.
"God, Sam" he breathed, then fell on top of me.
I wondered if I'd remember any of this in the morning? My heavy eyes felt like someone zipped them shut. I drifted off into a deep sleep.

Jilly's P.O.V

"I love you" Aaron smiled and kissed my cheek.
I giggled. "You're so talented"
"That was kind of random" he said, his warm arms wrapped around my waist.
"You know me, silly. I am random" I smiled and placed my hands on his wrists, gently rubbing them with my thumb.
"What about kids?" he asked
My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "I don't know, what about kids?" I asked.
"Would you ever want any?" he asked. There was no joking in his voice, all serious.
I blinked and let the cool fall breeze blow past my face. "Maybe someday" I answered."How about you?"
"Yeah, I'd like to settle down someday" he said "But right now, I just want time to be a kid."
I laughed "You are a kid"
"So are you" he pointed back.
"Am not!" I huffed.
His hands gently rubbed my stomach. "I'll just let you think that" he smirked.
I Lent my head back on his shoulder, he was leaning against his van. "It was quite noisy out here earlier" I said, changing the topic.
"Yeah, it was. I think it was a party or something" he shrugged
"Didn't sound luck much of a party" I snickered "They were outside for like, 2 hours and there was no music"
"They all live in their heads anyways" he said "They were drunk, so whats it matter?"
"They.." I mumbled. Gee was probably in that crowed. I shook my head.
"Whats wrong?" he asked peeking over my shoulder.
I shook my head. "Will she ever stop?" I asked rather annoyed. "I'm sick of worrying about her"
I felt Aaron's warm hand gentlyrubb my neck/ "It takes time, Babe" he whispered in my ear. "She can't just stop"
"But she can try" I argued now crossing my arms over my chest.
"She probably is trying" Aaron assured me "Just give her time, okay?"
"Okay" I huffed and Lent my head back on his shoulder.
He kissed my neck gently. It gave me butterflies. "I love that"
"So do I" he whispered, his breath sent a quick shiver down my spine. "Its a full moon tonight" he hinted.
I looked at him awkwardly. "Whats that have to do with anything?"
He kissed my lips. "Its when the animals go wild" he winked.
I laughed and kissed him back. "Fuckin' animal" I mumbled
He slowly moved me, bracing me against the van. I knew this scene oh too well. I reached behind me and click his van door open. I slid inside. He smirked and hopped in, closing the van door. I laid on the hard van floor smiling as he Lent in and kissed me again. He slid my shirt off and goose bumps filled my body from the cold night. He took his shirt off too, then pressed his warm body against mine. That helped my goosebumps. Our tongues knotted on and off and we took the remainder of our clothes off. It was still ice cold, but I was warm. His arms were at each side of my head as he thrust.
"Aaron" I whispered in a moan. This was very pleasurable, something we hadn't done in a long time.
He looked down at me, his hair covering his face. "Fuck" he moaned through clenched teeth.
I reached my hands up and tangled them into his hair as I reached my peak. I swallowed hard. "I love you" I moaned. A bead of sweat ran down my forehead.
Aaron gasped and rolled to the side. "You take allot out of me, you know that?" he teased breathlessly.
I laughed weakly. "You take more out of me"
He swallowed loudly, then rolled over and faced me. "Together for ever?" he asked
"Together forever" I promised, lacing my small hand with his.
He Lent in and kissed the tip of my nose "I think we should get our PJ's on"
I sighed and sat up "Yeah" I reached around for my bag, or something to slip on. I found what felt like to be boxers and a tank top. What ever it was would have to do. I slipped them on and snuggled into the blanket. Aaron kissed my forehead then crawled to the front. "Aren't you going to bed?" I asked. I heard the engine roar.
"No, I have to drive, remember?" he asked. I could feel him backing up.
"Oh. Well, when you need to stop just wake me" I reminded him. I knew he wouldn't wake me up, he's too kind.
"Just sleep, bean" he insisted.
I closed my eyes and let the gentle sound of the engine take me to sleep.

*dream*

I sighed and rubbed my stomach. I was still quite thin, plenty of time to tell Aaron about the... good... news. I haven't really told anyone, I'm too scared. We'd have to stop touring, and they might be mad.I hated thinking so negative, but I had to. It's the only choice I had.
"What's wrong?" Tina asked me as she walked out.
I looked up at her trusting face. I guess I could tell Tina, if I had the courage. "I..I.." I looked down quickly.
"Aw, Jilly" she said quietly. I could feel her sit next to me. "Would you feel safer if we were to talk outside?" she asked.
"Yeah, I guess" I mumbled and stood up.
I slid my sunglasses on, the sun was beaming in my eyes. The familiar screams from the fans at Warped Tour filled my ears.
I sighed and looked at Tina. She looked at me with eager eyes. "Tina... I.. I..I'm.."
"Pregnant?" she whispered in shock. I nodded shyly and looked down at the grass. "Aw, Jilly, that's incredible"
I looked up at her "You think so?" I asked
"Yes, I think so!" she smiled and slapped my arm. "Did you tell Aaron yet?"
I bit my lip. "No. I'm too scared.."
"About what?" she asked.
"Touring..." I said, my voice trailing off.
Tina waved it off. "Nonsense. You guy have been touring for a long time, its about time you both go on break"
Her positive attitude made me feel better at least. "Well, I'm not that far along, 5 weeks, so I can at least finish Warped Tour without looking too much like a blimp" I joked.
She laughed. "Of course! But Once your stomach gets bigger, that you can't play, I'd go home and relax. Pregnancy is very stressful"
"You and Ray have a kid?" I asked, my eyes were bigger.
"No" she frowned "We almost did.."
"Almost?" I asked, I felt my heart sink.
"Before MCR.. I was 5 months along.. I went to the mall.. some fucker hit me with their car when I was backing out my stomach slammed against the steering wheel.." I could see tears forming around her eyes.
"Aw, Tina" I frowned and pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm so fucking sorry"
"It's okay" she breathed and wiped her tears away. "This isn't about me, its about you now" she smiled.
I felt bad. Really bad. I decided I'd have a surprise for her when the child was born, hopefully it'd be a girl, but if its a boy I'll love it just the same. I had an idea for both.
"Are you guys going to have another one?" I asked
She shrugged. "Maybe someday. But anyways, lets help you tell Aaron"
I bit my lip. "What if he leaves me?" I asked worriedly.
"thats bull shit. He loves you so much" she insisted.
"I know" I whispered "But.. what if hes not up for being a dad?"
She shook her head. "He's up for it, trust me"
Trust. I repeated that word over in my mind. I can trust Tina, I can. So I'm going to trust her about Aaron's reaction.
"When should I tell him?" I asked.
"That's the spirit" she encouraged. "Lets go find him".
I choked a bit, but figured out the jumble of words I was going to say as she drug me along and called out his name.
"Yeah?" he called out, holding up his Mountain Dew to make him more noticeable throughout the swarm of hard rockers.
"Jilly wants to tell you something" she winked at me, then backed away to give us some room.
I gulped. He laced his hands with mine. "What's wrong?" he asked, concern filled his eyes.
I blinked. "Nothing so much... wrong... " I blurted out. "Just.. news.." I shifted my eyes. I was too scared to make eye contact.
"Go on..." he urged.
"I... well... I'm.. uh...." I studderd. I swallowed the lump in my throat, then stood on my toes to reach his ear. "You're going to be a dad" I whispered.
I heard a clunk, and looked down to see the Moutian Dew splattered everywhere. I was too scared to glance in his eyes. I felt his hand force my face to his. Tears were forming in his eyes, then slowly beaded down his cheeks, sliding quite heavily.
"A..Are.. Are you..?" I stammered, but before Icould finish he pulled me in to a passionate kiss. Okay, so he was happy! Perfect, now I'm not scared at all.
He pulled away and a huge smile spread across his face. "I'm going to be a daddy"
"I'm glad your happy" I beamed "I wasn't sure.. if.. you were ready.."
He looked down. "I'm not fully ready, I'm scared I'll be a bad dad.. but I will try"
"Fuck off"I smirked and punched his shoulder "You're going to be an amazing father"
He wrapped his arms around me "And you're going to be an even better mother"
It was quiet for a moment, then everyone broke out in cheers. Had they heard our conversation. They must've because they all chanted Aaron's name.,

*end of dream*

I woke up quite alert. What a dream that was! I patted my stomach, I felt the same... I was a little hungry. I noticed we were still moving.
"Aaron" I said
"HM" he mumbled. He sounded quite tired.
"Let me drive, okay?" I said walking up to the front. He unbuckled his seat belt without argument.
"Thanks" he smiled and gave me a quick peck before crawling to the back to sleep. Now that I was rested the woods and the night traffic looked nice. I could see MCR's bus ahead of us and I wondered what was going on in that joint.

Gee's P.O.V

"What were you thinking?!" Gerard bellowed throughout the small bathroom. I have never seen him so angry with me, I slumped down further into the wall. "I thought you were trying?!" he yelled, then ran a hand through his slick hair.
"I am.. I don't know why you think I can stop in one night!" I defended, and stood up fully.
"I know you cant!!" he screamed a little too loud. I knew they were eavesdropping now. "but going out there, smoking dope and loading the booze into you isn't limiting yourself, Gee!" he said in a calmer tone.
I sighed. The dope was wearing off, and it was making me suicidal, I didn't know how much of this I could take. "I'm trying, Gerard."
"You're not" he argued, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're not, you're not, you're not, You're not!" he yelled, storming around like a fucking 8 year old.
I was losing it. "You can't read my mind!" I argued back, my arms spread out in anger.
He took a deep breath. "You're right, I can't."
"Than why were you screaming at me?" I cried. I felt fucking dumb crying like this. Just a side affect of weed.
He frowned. I could tell in his eyes he felt bad. "I'm sorry" he whispered, wrapping his arms around me. I kept them held to my chest. "Yelling doesn't solve anything.. I was just.. mad that you'd do that"
I sniffed. "I'm sorry Gerard. You know what I'm like.."
He nodded slowly and ran his hands through my hair, resting his chin on my head gently rocking me back and forth. "I'm so sorry" he kept repeating over and over. The energy was starting to drain from me as he rocked me. I hope we'd never argue like this again
"I love you" I mumbled before passing out.