With Arrows, With Poise

Gee's POV

"What the fuck" I mumbled and gently had my hand ontop of my forhead. I had a massive hangover and the god damn sun wasn't helping my headache. Slowly, I rolled myself over to face Sam who was still sound asleep. I looked back at the bus to see no movement. The sun was just coming up over the horizon. It would've been a beautiful sight if I wasn't in such a shitty position. I shook Sam gently, in fear of her vomiting. "Sam, wake up" She groaned and one eye ppopped open.
"Hai, Geebee... Damn do I have a headache" she flinched, and slowly pressed her fingers again'st her forhead.
"I know, so do I" I said, I looked back once more, then leant in to wisper "Gerard and Frank are still asleep.. if we get up now we can crawl back in with out them knowing."
She bit her lip. "I don't know.. Frank's a light sleeper... What if we bunked out on the couch, and tell them we wanted a girls night?"
"I like your idea better" I nodded and attempted to stand. "Fuck" I gasped as the vomit slid up my throat and out my mouth. "AGH" I almost screamed. Sam was puking beside me.
"If they ask, we ate something bad" she said before puking again.
I puked my last time, then stood up fully. I felt 110 percent better. "Okay. Feeling better?" I asked, gently patting her back.
"Yes, thank you Geebis" she nodded as we silently snuck onto the bus.
"We'll take some Tylenol after" I mouthed quickly sneaking onto the couch. I laied down, and Sammy laied beside me. I wrapped my arm around her and drifted off into a deep sleep again.

(Dream)

"Haaaaai" I smiled my cheezy smile and stumbled over to Sam with a glass of Vodak in hand.
"Hai, Geebe" she yelled over the screaming MCR fans.
"How is my lil' Rardyfaceles doing" I smirked
"Good" she nodded, eyeing me take a long slurp of alcohol.
"Want sum?" I studderd over my words.
"You bet your ass I do!" she exclaimed and took a sip of the cool alcohol.
"I can't wait until we're up on that stage again" I nodded, raising my glass to indicate what I was talking about
Sam let out a deep sigh, " I hear ya, Geebee, I hear ya"
"Warped Tourr!" I smiled cheerfully and took another drink. I felt a sudden urge for something. The urge was so bad, I'd throw a fit if I didn't get it soon.
"You cravin', Geebee?" Sam asked
"How'd you know?" I asked shakily.
"Because you're soon going to fall over, you're shaking so bad" I looked at my veiny hand and watched it shake uncontrolably. "C'mon, lets go"

I watched carefully as Sam injected herself with the brown liquid. Shakily, I grabbed my needle and set it down on the table infront of me before melting the heroin.
I searched for a vein, then slowly injected it into my system. I didn't get much of a high "Fuck" I cursed and began to melt some more.
"I know, I didn't get one either" she shook her head in anger and did the same as me.
The second time around, we were vegetables. Just there, our eyes closed, unable to move. That wonderful body high that we craved everyday and probably would for the rest of our lives. This time it was two shots of the drug, next will be three for a high, four for a high.. so much, it could possibly kill us. But it was worth it. Just for that little world of our own, it was worth it.
After snapping out of my own little world, Sam and I got up and quickly disposed of everything. The bus smelt like heroin, and we needed to air it out. I opened the windows, while Sam spraied the Febreeze. The guys knew what we were up to when they smelt Febreeze, and I could see the looks in their hurt eyes.

"Gee" Gerard said quietly, waving me over to the corner. He grabbed my hands and held them together. The hurt and fear in his eyes made them too hard to look at. "Gee, look at me, please". I looked up the best I could. "I love you, you know that right?" I nodded as he began rubbing my hands "Babe, I can't do this" he sighed "This is killing me as much as its killing you..." I felt tears forming in my eyes "Gee, until you get help, this relationship has to end"
Tears burst down my eyes and I flew out of the bus. I could carless if I got hit by a car. Let me die. I can't live with out Gerard Way.

Crying by myself, I sat at a bench park, my head burried in my knees as I ran through all the memories we've had. I didn't want this to end. Why am I such a fuck up?
I sighed a deep sigh, and pulled my knife out of my pocket. I walked into a deserted area where I would never be found, and there is where I ended my life.

(end of dream)

"Gee, wake up" someone shook me hard. I grunted, and my eyes pulled open. I found myself tucked in next to Gerard. "You alright? You were crying in your sleep"
"Just a dream" I assured him, and snuggled close. I was too scared to leave him now.
"You want to talk about it?" he wisper in my ear, and gently kissed the top of my head.
"No" I said quickly. I didn't want him to find out what I did last night.
"Alright, babe" he said, still holding me close.
"How'd I get in here, anyways? I thought I was bunking with Sam"
"You were. I thought it was cute. But, your wimpering woke me up, so I thought you needed me"
"Awwee, you carried my fat ass in here?" I chuckled.
"You're far from fat, but yes I did"
I kissed under his chin "I love you, and I'm so glad I have you"
He smiled "I'm glad I have you too"
I bit my lip, then pulled away to look directly into Gerard's hazle eyes. "Promise me something?" I asked, grabbing his hand and rubbing my hand against it.
"Anything" he said without an ounce of fear.
"Promise me you'll never leave me , no matter how dumb I may get" I said nervously. I looked for the slight change in his pupils, but there was none. He trusted me so much, and I fucked it up.
"Gee, I love you too much. I could never leave you. I might get mad at some things you do, but everyone makes mistakes. I'm never going to leave you, I promise" he kissed me gently.
Thank god, I thought to myself. If Gerard ever left me, I'd probably follow up on my dream. I don't care what anyone else thinks, I can't live without this fucking man. "Thank you" I said under my breath. I leant my head back and relaxed myself on Gerard before getting up and helping them set up for the next Taste Of Chaos show.

Evening came, and the sun was down. I watched as the kids piled into the arena, all struggling to get to the front before the show started. I chuckled silently to myself as I watched them.
"They look funny, don't they" Sam chuckled beside me.
"Yes. I'm so glad that's not me" I said, leaning against the corner of the stage.
"I hear ya" Sam agreed.
A quick urge overcame me. An urge for that body high that I thought I hated so much. I quickly grabbed Sam's wrist. Her face turned towards mine quickly. "Did you just get an urge?" I asked
She nodded slowly, then took a glance over at MCR perparing for their third performance. "Maybe just... once more." she bit her lip.
"Yeah" I agreed. "I think we'll be fine after this one. Then no more" I promised myself.
"Yeah. Lets go find Bert" Sam said. She quickly pulled me through to the backstage.
I stopped her. "Wait, we need to get money. We can't expect Bert to give this to us for free, its pricey"
"Right. But who?" she asked. She was getting antsy now, and so was I. We needed money now.
"We'll tell Gerard and Frank we're going shopping?" I suggested.
"But won't they want to see what we got?"
"So we lie" I hissed through my teeth. I was getting frusterated now. "Christmas presents or something"
"Okay" Sam agreed slowly.
We both casually walked over to Frank and Gerard with cheesy smiles plasterd on our faces. Gerard turned around right away and gently kissed me.
"Whatcha need babe?" he asked
"Money... Sam and I are gonna go look around for some things"
"Oh, alright. Just let me get my wallet" he smiled and reached into his back pocket. He pulled out his black skull wallet and handed me a 100 dollar bill. "Will that do?"
I blinked in shock. Never in my life have I recieved so much money. "Y..yes!" I stammerd "It will. Thank you so much, baby. I love you" I reached up and gave him a peck on the lips. "Make 'em mosh hard for me" I winked before running off with Sam.

I tightend my grip on her wrist as the sudden cool air blew through the open doors. Shivers ran down my spine as we ran towards The Used's bus. Sam knocked on the door impaitently until Jeph appeard.
"Hey, ladies" he smiled and held the door open for us as we walked inside. I let go of Sam's wrist to stuff my hand into my pocket. "Bert will be out shortly, he's just getting dressed" he nodded his head towards the back then casually sat down on the coach.
"What?" Bert called out from the back. His figure appeard in the archway. "Oh, hey" he nodded towards us and flashed us a quick grin. "Back for more?"
"Yep" I nodded. I fiddled with the 100 dollars Gerard gave me.
"Alright. Just wait right here, I'll go get it" he turned around and made his way for the back again.
"How much did Frank give you?" I asked quickly turning my head towards Sam. She flashed the 100 dollars , then quickly stuffed it in her pocket.
"Alright. I'll get this, then we use Frank's 100 to go buy shit.. just so we don't seem fake"
"Deal!" she nodded in agreement as Bert reappeard.
"Is 100 enough?" I asked before he handed me the bag.
"Since you guys are my friends, I'll give you a deal" he smiled as I handed him the 100 dollars.
"Thank you" Sam and I said at the same time.
"Anytime" he chuckled slightly as Sam and I walked off the bus.
We sat outside so the wind would blow the smell away. It was hard to melt the heroin due to the wind, but we'd manage. Quickly I pulled my sweater sleve up and searched for a vein. I found one and quickly pulled the brown liquid into the needle. I set it into my vein and pushed down. I smiled at the goodness of this high. I pulled the needle out and rested my head against the back of the bus. I could faintly feel myself slouching over, but it felt so good. Its the kind of thing you miss when its not around. I wasn't an addict, and neither was Sam. This was our last time...

Sam's POV

"Sam, Gee?" I heard a voice call out as I gained fully aware of the world again. "You guys alright?" the figure asked. My vision was still blurry. I blinked once more, and there was Mikey staring me in the face. "Sam, are you okay?" he asked, leaning in closer. I pulled my head to the side in a quick motion, causing my stomach to turn. Mikey grabbed my face and looked deep into my eyes. "Are you okay?"
"Yes" I snapped and pushed him away. I didn't want him to know my secret, our secret. He fell on his bottem with a grunt, then quickly stood up and walked away with nothing more said. Weird. I turned my head slowly and looked at Gee. Her head was burried in her knees. "You alright?" She shook her head. "Wanna talk about it?"
"No" she mumbled, her voice muffled. I rubbed her back and snuggled in beside her. "I betrayed Gerard" she cried, her mascara streaming down her face. "I'm such a BITCH" she shouted standing up, causing me to fall back. I quickly put my hands out for support. "I'm gonna fuck this up!" she screamed once more and decided to kick the bus.
"Gee!" I exclaimed. I jumped up and tackled her onto the grass. "Now you listen here" I said, my teeth clenched together. "You are not a fuck up. We will never do this again, and we will never speak of it again. Got it?!" She nodded. I wiped the black that was streaming down her face away and stood up. "Good"
"I just feel like such a let down to him." she frowned.
I pulled her into a long , tight hug. "Its okay, Gee. Everything is going to be fine" I lied to her and myself. Nothing was going to be fine. Nothing.
She sighed as we pulled away from each other. "Why don't I think that?"
"I don't know" I answerd.
"Fuck" she shook her head and walked into the bus.

I stood at the end of the stage and watched the bands perform. It was really interesting. I glanced out at the audiance moshing their little hearts out. I wished I could join them, but I couldn't. I just stood there with my arms folded across my chest.
"Hey" a voice called out behind me.
I jumped slightly and turned around to face a band member. "You must be Frank Iero's girlfriend" he smiled and extended his hand out.
I accepted it. "Yes I am"
"Sweet. Nice to finaly meet you. I'm My Chem's tour mananger, Matt"
"Nice to meet you" I nodded slightly, then continued crossing my arms.
"What do you think of the tour so far?" he asked.
"Its cool."
"Yeah. I'd love to be in that mosh pit."
"Same here" I agreed.
"Are you in a band?"
"Yeah, I am, actually" I said, casually leaning against the wall.
"Sweet. Where are you guys from?"
"Mahone Bay"
"Oh, never heard of it." he said rather shyly.
"Its okay. Not many have. Its a small area" I smiled to make him feel comfortable.
He chuckled slightly then shifted. "Well, I should be heading back now. It was nice meeting you, Sam. Frank's in the bus if you need him" he smiled one last time before making his way out the back door.
I sighed heavily as the guys from Sences Fail walked offstage. They looked at me and smiled as they took a breather backstage. I'd have to face Frank soon, I miaswell get it over with now. I pushed off the wall lazily, and stumbled off to My Chem's tour bus.

I was scared to enter, but I did. The door clicked open, and I heard scilence throughout the bus. I took a few steps up the stairs, letting the door shut by its self. "Hello?" I called out. I peeked my head around the stairs. It was empty. "Hm" I mumbled to myself and finished my quick trip up the stairs. I grabbed a water from the mini fridged then sat down on the coach to watch some TV.
An hour or so later, Gee stumbled out from the back dressed in Gerard's skeleton PJs. I smirked and patted the seat beside me. "Have a nice nap?" I asked
She shrugged and lend her head on my shoulder before the guys came barreling into the door. The bus was now filled with laughter and the sound of five men talking.
"Hey, babe" Frank smiled and gave me a kiss on the forhead. "How was your day?"
"Great" I lied, flicking through the channels. "Yours?"
"It was cool. Sorry we're late"
"We had to do an interview" Bob interrupted, stuffing a pile of fries into his face.
"We brought you guys supper" Frank said reaching for the Mc Donalds bag.
"Thanks" I smiled and took it. I peeked inside, but I wasnt hungry. I set it beside me "I'll eat it later"
"But it'll be all cold and gross" Frank said scrunching his face up.
"I'll heat it up" I told him, staring straight into the television.
"Are you okay?" he asked. "You haven't made eye contact with me since I walked in here"
"I'm fine" I lied. I pretended to yawn. I dropped the remote on the couch. "I'm going to sleep. Night"
"Night. Sweet dreams. I'll be in shortly" Frank kissed me.

I wasn't tired. I lay in bed wide awake while the guys around me snored. I wonderd if Gee was awake.
"Gee" I wisperd
"Yeah?" she wisperd back.
"I can't sleep"
"Me either"
"Wanna go bunk on the couch?"
"Sure. Meet you out there" she wisperd. I could hear the rustling of the blankets, then I seen her small figure, through the passing lights of the street lamps, walking out to the front.
Silently I climbed down the bunk. I felt as if someone was watching me, then I heard Frank.
"Sam" he snapped. I froze on the spot. "Where are you going?"
It was as if he didn't trust me. "Sleeping in the front with Gee again" I wisperd in responce. I held my breath for his answer.
"Oh, okay" he said calmly, then went back to sleep.
"Weird" I mumbled as I pulled the sliding door shut, so our talking wouldn't awake them.
"What?" she asked.
"Frank asked me where I was going, and it sounded as if he lost all trust in me" I responded, sitting next to her on the couch.
Gee came in closer to me, I could see her tierd eyes just faintly from the zooming highway lights. "Do you think he knows?" she wisperd ever so lightly.
I bit my lip, and looked back at her. "I don't think"
"I hope not" she mumbled and pulled back from me. "Bert better keep his mouth shut"
"He better" I agreed, thinking of the many things that could go wrong if he told anyone besides his band members. It wasn't a good thought.
"Sammy, I'm scared" Gee whined, tugging on my Tshirt.
I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to me. "Why?"
"I hate going through withdrawl"
"I know, so do I. But we won't do it anymore"
"How do you know? We said that we didn't like it last night, and then today we found ourselves sticking needles into our veins once again"
I quickly put my hand over her mouth. "Shh. We're strong, Gee. We can do this."
She shook and gripped my leg. "I don't think we can"
"Are you cold?" I asked, pulling her onto my lap and wrapping my arms around her.
"Yeah, cold" she mumbled and snuggled her small self into my body. Our warmth collided together, causing me to get drowsey. Gently, I laied us back on the coach and then drifted off into a sleep.

Jilly's POV

"Mosh pit!!" Aaron screamed as the band just started to play. The loud screames rang through the small Pavillion as kids heads bobbed from jumping, and crowed surfers got thrown to the front.
I laughed at my idiodic boyfriend and sipped on a can of pop. I slowly walked around the area and took in the beauty of this small place. This was where we started. I looked up onstage as Mariana's Trench played. If only Jessica was here.
"JILLY" I heard a voice squeel from behind me.
I whipped my head around to see Jessica. Her hair was jet black, and partially layerd. "JESS" I exclaimed, tackling her into a hug. "What the fuck you doing here?"
she pointed onstage and a grin appeard on her face "My boyfriends singing onstage."
My mouth dropped open, and a squeel of joy escaped from my lungs. "When did this happen?!"
"A few months ago." she smiled brightly
"YAY!!!" I jumped up and down with her in my arms. "I'm so happy for you"
"Thank you" she smiled and gently rubbed her stomach.
My eyes widend "And you have a little bundle of joy in there!"
She chuckled, "Yes. Its not as easy as it looks"
"I bet its not" I nodded slightly, agreeing with her. The pain was unberable, I could feel it in my dreams.
"Hey, if you're talking to Gee, can you tell her I have to leave the band." she seem'd dissapointed about it, but I understood.
"Yes, I definatly will. I understand. You want to settle down and have a family" I smiled
"Yeah" she smiled , then looked onstage as Marianas Trench took the eqipment down for the next band. "Well, I gotta go. I'll see you around"
I pulled her into one last hug. "See you"
Aaron smiled at Jessica as she walked over to Josh. He was out of breath and his hair was plasterd to his face.
"That was epic" he breathed, clapping his hands together. He eyed my pop, and I handed it to him "Thanks babe"
I chuckled "You're welcome."
"You should really join in" he smiled and casually leaned againt the wall as the second band perpared.
"I might" I said I was feeling a bit drowsey from all the walking around we did today. I felt my feet lift off the ground.
"Woah, you okay?" Aaron asked. His hair stuck together as he peerd down at me with alook of sorry.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I assured him. He gently stood me upright and grabbed me a stool to sit on.
"Are you sure?" he asked bending down to be eye level with me.
"I'm sure" I nodded "Go have fun"
He eyed me suspicously, then gave me a quick peck on the lips. "Okay." he turned around and walked off, looking back over his shoulder a few times before jumping in to the moshpit.
I needed some fresh air. I opend the door and let the cool autumn breeze sweep over my face. I leaned against the wall of the Pavillion and let the zooming cars, buses and streetlights of Halifax relax me. I flipped up my cellphone and I diald Gee's number. It rang twice before an answer.

"Hello?"
"Hey, Gee?" I asked.
"Yeah" she said rather groggily. "Who is this?"
"Its Jill"
"Oh, hey" she said in a cheerful tone "How are things?"
"Good, I'm just at a show right now. How are things at Taste Of Chaos?"
"Things are good, I guess.." she sounded a little hesitent there "Hows Rothster?"
"Good" I nodded as a few odd looking kids walked by me. "He's in the Pavill. moshing his little heart out" I snickerd
Gee laughed on the other end. "So , watcha call for, doll?"
"Oh, just to see how things were. I got good news and bad news" I said.
"Okay, tell"
"Good news is, Jess is having a baby"
She gasped "Aww, Josh's baby? That's cute."
"Bad news, she's leaving the band."
There was a second or two of scilence , then. "Okay. I understand completely"
"Are you sure? It took you a while to respond."
"I'm positive. She has every right to have a life" she said cheerfully.
I nodded into the phone "Thank you for being understanding"
Gee chuckled "Its okay. Anyways, I don't wanna rack up your minuets, we should go"
"Alright" I nodded "Be safe"
Another long scilence. "Yeah.. You too."
"Bye, Gee"
"Bye Bearis"
I hung up the phone and stuffed it into my pocket before walking back into the steaming hot Pavillion. Something wasn't right there, and she wasn't going to tell me. But Sam was there, and I knew she would keep her inline..

"What's wrong?" Aaron asked on our hour long drive back to Mahone Bay.
"Nothing" I lied. I cracked the window open a bit to illimnate Aaron's sweat smell.
"C'mon, somethings bugging you. You've been dead silent the whole car ride"
I smirked "Its been a little more than half the car ride, and you think its bad because you never shut up"
He chuckled. "Yeah , you're right" he admitted honestly. "But I know somethings up, can you please tell me?"
I sighed. He's such a good boyfriend, I loved it yet hated it. I felt as if, sometimes, my mind was being violated. "I think Gee's back on drugs"
"What!" he exclaimed, almost driving me off the road. "Why?"
I looked at him sternly, then focused back on the road. "I was talking to her a few minuets ago. I told her to be safe, and there was a long scilence. Somethings up"
Aaron sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I don't know what to say. I hope she's not back on drugs, but if she is, there is nothing we can do. That's a battle for her and Gerard to fight, not you. All we can do is be there"
"Yes, I know" I said as I took the exit to home. "It just sucks, though.. I would've thought Sam would keep her inline... or even Gerard."
"She's probably doing it behind their backs" he frowned slightly and glanced out the window.
I sighed "This fucking sucks"
Aaron reached over and gently rubbed my thigh. "I know it does baby, but don't stress out over it."
"I'll try" I mumbled, squeeling my tires as I took the right into Mahone Bay.
Aaron smirked as his head jolted back into the passengers seat. I sped down the deserted road to home.
"I love it when you're angry" Aaron winked, giggling as I slowed down.
I laughed crazily and pulled into the driveway. "Thanks"

When I walked inside I automatically walked into my bed room to slip my PJ's on. I was feeling a little hungry, so I decided to lurke around for some fruit.
I grabbed a small carton of sliced pineapple and sat down at the table with a toothpick. I jabbed it into the yellow fruit and took a bite, the delicious tropical juice was so sweet, it made my sences tingle.
"Oooh , pineapple!" Aaron said going to grabb for a hunk.
I slapped his hand away. "Go get your own" I said rather devensivly.
He pouted and sulked 'till he got to the fridge and got his own. He sat across from me at the table with a smirk on his face.
"Why are you smirking?" I asked after I ran my tongue through my teeth to get out the access pineapple.
"No reason" he chuckled and stuffed a peice of the yellow fruit into his mouth.
"Alright" I mumbled and took my last bit of pineapple. I drank the juice, then walked into the bathroom and brushed my teeth.