With Arrows, With Poise

Gee's POV

I woke up early in the morning. The sun was just rising over the horizon. I rubbed my eyes as the memories of what happened slowly ran through my mind. I was hoping it was all a dream. That I'd wake up next to Gerard this morning. I stopped rubbing my eyes and looked over at the person sleeping beside me. There was no one. I sighed and turned the other way, facing the bunks across the room. I was feeling a little nauseated. It could've been from anything. Lack of food, lack of drugs, from the arguing last night, maybe even the movement of the bus. I sighed and swallowed the feeling down. I tried closing my eyes, but I couldn't keep my mind off the feeling. I decided I'd get up and watch T.V to keep my mind off it.
Silently, I climbed down the bunk ladder and made my way into the living space. I flicked the T.V on and turned it down to a respectable level. Katie and Orbie filled the screen with colours. I tried my best to be distracted with it, but something about the way Katie laughed made me want to puke even more. I took a deep breath in and began shaking as I exhailed. Sure enough, I felt that rosey tingle in my cheeks that I always felt right before I threw up. I was too far away from the bathroom to run to it. Quickly, I grabbed the bucket that lay underneath the coach and held my face over it as I puked. I whimperd from the pain, but was relieved that my stomach felt clean.
"That's what you get" Gerard glared at me as he leaned against the arch wall.
I sat the bucket on the floor beside my feet and rolled my eyes. "I don't see why you're so pissed off at me"
"I'm pissed off because you lied to me. How can we have a relationship if you lie?" he asked, taking a step towards me.
"I know I lied, Gerard. I've realized my mistake, okay. Can we please just get over this?"
"Nope" he replied. A smirk grew on his face. I could've wiped it clean off right then and there.
"Jesus you're stubbron" I spat , and quickly focused my attention on the television.
"Pfft" he breathed, taking a seat in the bean bag chair directly across from me. I still felt his cold glare.
"Well, theres nothing you can do. I'm quitting anyways"
"Seeing is believeing" Gerard said.
"Don't be a smart ass, Gerard" I grumbled.
"Don't be a drug addict, Gee"
I sighed. I wasn't up for his sarcasam. "If you're going to be a noob, don't talk to me"
He shrugged. "I can talk if I want"
"What the fuck are you doing up early anyways?" I asked. I could tell our relationship was at its end. Over something so stupid too.
"I heard you get up, so I thought we could talk" he said
"Talk?" I hissed "More like be a smartass about things."
He chuckled. "I didn't mean it. I just came out to talk to you. In all seriousness."
I crossed my arms over my chest. "Well, what did you want to talk about?"
"Why you did drugs again"
I sighed and looked down for a second. "Sam and I snuck off to a party okay."
"That dosen't mean you still had to do drugs, Gee. You could've walked away" he said.
"I know, Gerard. I should've listend to Sam"
"Wait, what? She tried to stop you?" he asked, leaning back in the chair.
"Well, she said it didn't feel right. That we shouldn't be doing it. But I didn't listen. I guess I was never fully healed."
"I guess not" he mumbled and stood up "I guess not" he wisperd and dissapeared into the back.
I was left alone with my confused thoughts, angry self, and one stupid TV show. I flicked the TV off and laied back on the coach. I closed my eyes and ran everything through my mind once again.

Hours later I opened my eyes. The guys were scurrying around again , trying to get ready for their show. My head hurt, and I was craving the heroin really bad now. But for some reason or another, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I'd rather freak out from craving then inject it into my body. It was the weirdest feeling I've felt all my life. I felt like shit, but something inside me made me feel good. Made me have hope. I patted my stomach and smiled.
"Thanks"
"You feelin' okay, Geebee?" Bob asked bending down to my level.
I chuckled. "I'm fine, Bob. Thank you. Are you okay?"
"I am indeed okay, Ms. Gee" he stood up and ruffled my hair. "I gotta jet though. Show time. ttyt!" he waved and walked off the bus.
I laughed. Suddenly, my phone rang in my pocket. I jumped and flipped it up.

"Hello" I said
"Hey, Gee" a familliar voice echoed on the phone.
"Bill!" I exclamied. A smile spread across my face as Sam walked into the front. "How the fuck are you?"
"I'm great! How are you?" he asked.
"I'm alright" I sighed and looked down at my feet.
"What happened?" he asked. He sounded concerned. That's why Bill was one of my best guy friends. He always cared, and was trustworthy. Always there when I needed him. Much like Gerard.
"Gerard and I got into a huge fight" I said. Tears begin to form around my eyes, but I quickly wiped them away.
"Don't cry, Gee. What about?"
"I got back into heroin" I wisperd, now shaking. I felt Sam's arms wrap around me. "And he found out"
"Aw, Gee. I'm so sorry. I'm sure it will work out"
I sighed heavily. "I don't know. He was pretty mad. Maybe time apart will be good for us. What do you think?"
He was speachless for a second. "Well, if you think its right, then it probably is"
I sniffed and wiped more tears away. "I think its right. Maybe I should just end it. I really hurt him"
He sighed. "Gee , that's entierly up to you. I can't tell you how to make your desicions. If your heart says yes, then its yes"
"Thanks so much" I smiled at the phone. "I have to go build up the courage. I'll be back home tomorrow evening if you'd like to talk than?"
"Okay. You call me?" he asked.
"I will. Promise" I nodded.
"Thanks. Bye, Gee. Good luck. Hugs to you"
"You too, Bill" I smiled and hung up the phone.

"Are you going to?" Sam asked me.
I looked at her and slowly nodded. "I have to, Sam. I've hurt him so much. I don't want to cause anymore pain for him.."
"But you still love him?" she asked.
I bit my lip and cried. "I'll always love him" I sobbed, burrying my face in Sam's neck. I took a deep breath and wiped my tears away. "He was being a smartass this morning"
"For what reason?" Sam asked.
"Because of the drugs. I told him to stop being a smartass, and he told me to stop being a drug addict"
Her head pulled back, and her eyebrows pulled together. "What?" she asked. "That makes no sense. Its not your fault"
"I feel like it is. I didn't listen to you, Sam. I did it anyway. I should've said no"
She patted my back. "We both should have said no. But you know what, we're going to get help."
"We are" I nodded in agreement. "I have this weird gut feeling that dosen't want me to do it. Its really weird. Something I've never felt before. I'm craving so bad, but somethings telling me no. Its stopping me"
"That is weird" Sam nodded.
"You know, Sam, last night.. before I smashed the mirror in.. I seen dad" I said hesitantly.
"You did?" she asked "What did he say?"
I pulled my eyebrows together in thought. "Something about motherhood stopping me"
"Motherhood!" she exclamied, jupping off the coach "I'll be right back, Gee"
"Okay" I nodded. I sat back on the coach and built up the courage to tell Gerard.

An hour later the guys boarded the bus. I was stuffing my face with grapes at the time. I watched Gerard storm off to his bunk.
"What happened to him?" I asked, stuffing more grapes into my mouth.
"Him and Bert got into a big fist fight. Well, they started to before the body guards pulled them off each other."
I finished the last of my grapes and got up for more food. "Let me guess, he started it?"
"Now what do you think?" Ray asked running his hand through his 'fro. He sighed. "I don't know, Gee. He's pretty mad about this"
I finished filling my bowl with a can of alphagetties. "I know" I sighed, grabbing a spoon and sitting down next to Ray. "Wheres Bob?" I asked
"Outside taking a smoke break with Frank" he said flicking on his PS1.
"Thanks Ray" I smiled and took a spoonful of the cold Alphagetties before walking outside. Frank and Bob could help me out.

"Bob, Frank I need your advice"
"Ask away, Geebee" Bob said blowing smoke.
"Well, I know I hurt Gerard. This was all my fault. I don't want to hurt him anymore..."
"So, you want to break up with him?" Frank asked
"I don't want to, Frank, I just feel like I have too" I said.
Bob and Frank exchanged looks. Bob gently placed his hand on my shoulder and scooped down into my level. "Gee, he thinks the same"
I gulped as my heart sank to the bottem of my stomach. "Ok" I wisperd.
"Gee, I'm sorry" Bob said pulling me into a tight hug. "We can still be friends, right?"
"Of course we can, Bob" I smiled as we parted. My stomach growled for more food, so I finished my bowl full of Alphagetties.
"Okay, good" he nodded and flicked his ciggarette on the ground. "Lets get inside"
"Yeah, lets" I mumbled. I was in complete fear of what would happen next. But it had to happen.. I guess
I pulled the bus door open and walked into my scary fate.

"Gee, we need to talk" Gerard said signaling for me to go into his bunk. I looked at Sam before walking back to the bunks.
He sighed "Gee, I think..."
"we should breakup" I finished for him. I couldn't hear him say those words. They would haunt my mind for a life time. "I know, Gerard. I fucked up. I fucked this up big time. I'm so sorry. I thought it was best to. I know how bad I hurt you, and I don't want to hurt you anymore. But there is one thing, Gerard. I'll always love you. You treated me well, you helped me. You were my best friend. But I don't deserve it now."
It was quite for a moment. Then I heard him take a deep breath in, and sobbs escaped his mouth. He pulled me into a tight hug that startled me. "Gee, I'm sorry. You know I love you too, okay? Always"
After our hug I walked out to the front of the bus. I sat down on the coach and zoned out from the world around me. I couldn't concentrait on anything but this. I just lost the best man in my life.

Sam's POV

"Aww, Gee" I mumbled, pulling her into a tight hug. I knew she wouldn't answer me, and I knew she wasnt okay. "If you want to talk about it, I'm here"
"Uh, thanks" she mumbled
"Same here, Geebee" Bob said ruffling her hair.
She smiled merley. "I just can't believe it"
"Neither can I" Mikey said "Out of all his girlfriends you were my favorite"
"Thanks Mikey" she said. "What about Donna? Does she hate me too?"
"Actually no. She says you can come over anytime." he smiled. "She loves you like her own"
"That's good. Because Donna is my homie" she smiled.
I smiled with her. "It'll be okay, Geebee"
"I hope so" she sighed. "I'm hoping for a mirical"
"Miricals happen" I assured her "Just have to believe"
"And I do. So, what about you and Frank? I never did hear how he reacted"
"Dissapointed in me" I bit my lip and shyly looked over at Frank.
"Everyone makes mistakes, Sam" Frank smiled slightly before turning his attention back to the television.
"I wish Gerard was like that" she mumbled.
"Don't worry,Gee. Everything will turn out" I promised her.
"Hmm" she replied. "I just want to go home"
"Tomorrow. One more sleep" I smiled.
"Aw. I'm going to miss you two" Bob frowned. "I wont have anyone to watch Hannah Montana, or the Ninja Turtles with"
"You got me!" Frank said
"You don't count because you fall asleep" Bob glared
I chuckled. "Don't worry Bob. We'll be back someday"
"Someday is too far away" he frowned. "You guys will have to come visit me in Chicago sometime"
"Alright" Gee and I said at the same time.
"That sounds like an amazing idea, Bob." I nodded.
"But, Sam, the question is, can you put up with two Hannah Montana addicts?"
"I'll just go into another room"
"We'll tie you down" he smirked "You're watching Montana!"
"And what if I escape!" I gasped playfully.
"No one escapes Bob Bryar" he shook his head proudly.
"I'm going to be the first one" I laughed evily.
"I think not. I disagree" Bob crossed his arms over his chest.
"Oh, come on, Bob. You know I'll escape"
"Nope!" he said stubbornly
"Bob, you're such a n00b" I insulted.
"I am not a newbie" he gasped. "I didn't watch 10 years of Ninja Turtle action for nothing!"
I laughed. "Ah, man, I'm going to miss you."
"And I you, and I you"

"Gee" Gerard hollerd coming into view. "What's with all these calls to Spencer, Bill, and all these other guys. Hmm?" he asked impaitently.
"What the fuck are you doing with my phone" she screamed and stood up. Quickly she grabbed it out of his hands
"What the fuck were you doing cheating on me?" he argued back "All those texts!"
"You read my texts?" she screamed
Anger grew inside my body each time he accused her of something she didn't do. I clenched my jaw and gripped the bar of the coach until the tips of my fingers turned white. Their yelling echoed faintly in my mind. People like this shouldn't be fighting. They should be happy. Without thinking twice, I stood up and rammed my fist into the side of Gerard's face.
"Shut the fuck up!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I slapped him with all my might. I cried as I punched him in the stomach "She wasn;t cheating!" I yelled as Gerard fell to the ground holding on to his stomach.
"SAM" Frank yelled, pulling me away.
I kicked and struggeld to get free from his grip. "He's wrong!" I yelled
"That dosen't mean you have to kick the shit out of him!" Frank yelled. "That's one mistake too many, Sam" he shook his head angrily and stalked off to the back.
"What on earth is going on here" Ray shook his head in dissapointment. "Everything is falling apart right before our eyes"
I cried harder " I wanna go home"
"You're going tomorrow!" Frank screamed from the back.
I slumped down, my back against the bus wall, and I burried my face in my knees. "I can't take this" I sobbed.
"It'll be okay, Sam" Gee wisperd beside me. "We're going to back home, check into rehab, be well, and everything will be okay"
"I can only hope Gee" I sobbed. I lifted my head up and wiped tears from my eyes. "Can I bunk with you tonight?"
"Of course you can, Sammy" she smiled and gently ran her hand through my hair. "We'll be there for each other, and get well together"
"Okay" I nodded. The way she said it it felt like everything would fall into place. I knew it would take some hard work, and a little effort, but it would all be worth it in the end.
"Now come on, lets get you to bed" she kissed my head and stood up, lending me her hand. I accepted and she pulled me up.
"Thanks" I grunted. She put her hand on the small of my back and lead me to her bunk. I climed up the ladder and burried myself underneath the covers. Gee was soon to follow."Gee" I wisperd
"Yeah, Sam" she wisperd back.
"Do you mind if I call someone?"
"No, not at all."
"Thanks" I smiled and flipped up my phone. It rang twice before answering.

"Hello, Sam" Mom's cheerful voice boomed through the phone.
"Hey, mom. We're coming home tomorrow" I smiled at the thought.
"Oh, good. Ter misses you, you know"
"I know. Tell her I love her?"
"She's asleep right now, but I will when she's up. So how are you girls?" she asked.
"Well, not so good mom. We're going in to rehab once we get home"
"Oh" she sounded startled "Well, I'm glad you guys have realized your mistakes"
"Yeah, me too" I nodded. "Are you doing good, mom?"
"Oh, yes. Everything is fine here."
"Are you sure?" I asked her.
"Yes, I'm sure Sam. Just worry about getting better"
I sighed. "Okay mom. I have to go, its 3AM.. what are you doing up early anyways?"
She chuckled. "You know me and my soaps"
"Oh yeah" I snickerd "Well, you get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you, mom"
"I love you too. Tell Gee I love her aswell"
"Will do"
"Bye"
"Bye"
As I flipped my phone shut, Gee turned around to face me. "Love who?" she asked.
I bit my lip. Gee didn't know about my daughter. I didn't think right now would be a good time to tell her, but I guess I didn't have a choice now. "Gee, I have a daughter"
"Woah, what?" she spat "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was too scared, okay. It was an accident". I felt her arms wrap around me in a tight hug.
"Its fuck faces kid, huh?" she said as if she read my whole life story.
"Yeah" I said quietly.
"Can I meet her?"
"Tomorrow"
"I can't wait." she squeeled and quickly turned around.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
She looked back "I'm going to sleep so tomorrow will come faster" she giggled, and turned back around.
I chuckled and closed my eyes "Ohkay, Geebee"

Jilly's POV

I walked back into our hotel room after a nice 3AM swim with Aaron. I ruffled the towle in my hair before I brushed it out.
"Pew" I said scrunching my face up "I like pools and all , but I hate chlorine"
Aaron chuckled. "Would you rather it smell like shit?"
"Ah, you have a point there" I smirked and threw the towle in the bathrooms hamper.
"This chlorine fucks my hair up" Aaron whined, trying to pull the brush through the mess of knots
I laughed and walked over to him "Let me see if I can help" I grabbed the brush out of his hand and held the knot in place. "Ready?"
"Ready!" he said
"Okay" I said bringing the brush up to his thin hair. Quickly, I brushed down and down. Slowly, but surely, the knot started to unravel
"Owwieee" He whined, clenching his fists together.
"Sorry. Its almost out" I said quickly taking the last brush down.
"Thank you!" he said relieved. He ran his hand through his hair and smiled "I love it. You should give me scene hair someday"
I laughed "Should I?"
"Yes, you should. It looks amazing on you, so it'll look better on me" he winked.
I furrowed my 'brow. "Oh, really, Mr. Rothe"
"Oh really" he smirked
"Oh yeah, well, take this! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!!" I yelled, quickly body slaming him on the bed.
He laughed. "Is that all you got? Be perpared for my cyclone attack!!" he exclaimed. Quickly, he scooped my body up in his arms and began spinning around the room.
"AAAAAHHHHH" I screamed as the white walls and carpet started blending together.
"Body SLAM!" he said throwing me on the bed.
I laughed as I flew 10 feet in the air. "You noob. Now I'm all sick feeling."
"Its what you get" he chuckled and hopped on the bed beside me.
My world was slowly starting to look normal again. I held onto my head and blinked a few more times before it came officaly clear again. My nausea died down.
"What's next?" I asked, flopping back down on the soft bed.
"This" he wisperd, his lips brushed mine as he swooped me into a passionate kiss. This is what I loved about him. He was perfect. Hyper, immature, but knew just when to be serious. Gently, his hand caressed my face. His finger tips gently glided down my bikini top and felt their way around my curves.
"I love you" I breathed as we parted from our kiss.
"I love you too" he smiled and gently brought a finger to my lips, tracing around the edges.
I smiled and gently ran my fingers up and down his back. I felt goosebumps occur and I smirked.
Gently, he kissed me again and started to unsnap my bikini top. I quickly lifted it up over my neck and threw it to the side of the room. I wrapped my arms around his neck as we stood up on the bed. I felt his hands gently slide down my curves and fiddle with my bikini bottem.
I moved down from kissing his lips to kissing his neck as he began pulling my bottems down. Slowly, but slyly, I moved my hands down to his swim shorts and began to untie them. They slid down his legs, and he quickly kicked them to the side as we fell back down on the bed again.
His lips crashed hungrily into mine as he pinned me down on the bed. Slowly, he pride his lips away and kissed my neck up and down. I smiled from the pleasure and knotted my hands into his long hair as he licked up my neck and back to my mouth. In a quick movement I felt him spread my legs and enter me and I groaned as he began.
I missed this pleasure. I was starting to sweat from our bodies in close contact and our heavy breathing.
I moaned louder as his pace quickend. My mouth was starting to go dry from breathing so heavy, but I didn't want to stop.
"Fuuuuuuuuhk" I breathed, reaching my peak. "Uuuuuughhh!" I groaned louder
"Jesus" Aaron breathed, both his arms were extended, gripping the pillows behind me.
I closed my eyes as my peak came. I let out the loudest groan known to man kind. "Christ" I breathed
"Fuck!" Aaron screamed, reaching his peak. Slowly, he slid down and put his forehead on mine. He kissed my lips gently. "I love you"
"I love you too" I smiled and kissed him back. I reached up and wiped a few beads of sweat from his cheek.
He gulped, trying to get the moisture back in his mouth. "Lets get some sleep. We have to check out early tomorrow"
"Okay" I wisperd as Aaron rolled off me and to his side of the bed.
"Night babe"
"Night" I smiled and pulled the sheets over my naked body.

"Jilly" Aaron shook me from my slumber. I stirred and slowly opened my eyes.
"Yeah?" I asked as I stretched.
"We have to check out in an hour. You should get up"
"Oh, okay. Thanks." I smiled and look at a new change of clothes on the foot of the bed. "Aw, thanks"
Aaron looked up from packing and smiled. "I figured you'd want to get dressed"
"Well of course. I'm not going on the plane naked" I chuckled.
"A nude plane" Aaron laughed.
"Uh, creepy" I shudderd at the thought before grabbing my clothes and slipping them on underneath the covers.

"Well, are you ready?" Aaron asked his hand on the doorknob.
I took one last look around the place. "Yep, I'm ready"
"Okay, lets go" Aaron smiled and opened the door for me.
I swung my bag over my shoulder and took Aaron's hand. "Thank you for a wonderful time"
"You deserved it" he smiled and pressed the elevator button. "Besides, we need to spend some time away before we head out touring"
"You're right" I nodded as the elevator dingged open. Quickly, we stepped inside and waited for the doors to close.
Aaron pressed the main floor button and we were on our way down. "I think I'm going ontour with Sonny"
"Oh, really?" I asked "That'll be a fun experience"
He smiled and rubbed his thumb against my hand. "It will be. But I'll miss you"
"I'll miss you too" I frowned as the elevator door opened.
We stepped out and took one last look around the lobby before checking out.
"Ready?" I asked.
"Ready" Aaron nodded and pushed the door open for me.
"Bye, bye Quebec" I mumbled underneath my breath.

The plane ride home felt longer this time. The clouds were snow white and the sky crystal clear. I sighed.
"Don't worry, hun. You'll get to explore more places on tour. I promise" Aaron patted my back.
"I know. I just really love Quebec" I frowned "So many good memories there"
"Aw. You'll be back there sooner than you know it" Aaron assured me.
"I hope so" I mumbled, not taking my glance off the window. Through the patches in the clouds I could see small areas of land. Some brow, some green. It looked funny from so high above.
After an hour, we finaly landed back in Nova Scotia. I grabbed my luggage from the rack above and slowly walked off the plane.

"Gee and Sam come home today" I smiled as Aaron drove us back to our friendly apartment.
"Really?" he asked.
"Sure do. I can't wait to hear everything" I clapped my hands together. "I hope we get to be on Taste of Chaos"
"Someday you will be. You guys are just too damn good" Aaron smiled and sped up on the high way.
"Aww, thank you" I chuckled.
"You want to go anywhere to eat?"
I thought for a moment. "I'll make breakfast when we get back"
"A big breakfast?"
"A big breakfast" I chuckled.
"Good, because I'm a man..."
"who wears girl pants" I cut him off.
He looked at me sternly, then a smile appeared on his face. "That was an insult, wasnt it?"
"Maybe" I laughed.
"Just you wait... just you wait" he warned, shaking his index finger. "I'll get you back real good"