With Arrows, With Poise

Gee's POV

"What were you thinking?" Billy asked me, pacing back and forth on the bus. "You had sex with her, Gee. You pretty much cheated"
I sighed and looked down at the dirty bus floor. "Its Sam, Billy. We do shit like that all the time. Why does it matter so much?"
"Gee, not everyone is going to realize that. There is a thing called love. You either love someone, or you don't. You obviously still love Sam, so why don't you just date her?"
Lately, it seemed as if I was hurting everyone. Gerard, my friends, myself, now Billy. I couldn't take much more of hurting anyone. It just wasn't me.
"I still love her, but I'm not going to date her again" I mumbled
"Then why fuck around? She has a boyfriend, and you had one" he spat, and slammed the bus door shut. I looked up at the empty bus, and tears filled my eyes. It felt like my heart just shattered into a million pieces. I felt like such a fuck up. I sobbed, and didn't even wipe the tears from my face that I deserved to be crying. I looked down and rubbed my stomach with my thumb
"Looks like its just you and me again" I cried, tears stained my shirt. I heard the bus door click open and I quickly straightened myself up.
"Hey--- Gee, are you okay?" Zacky asked, quickly rushing over to me and sitting on the couch. I felt his hand grip my shoulder, and I looked over at him.
"I'm fine, Zacky" I smiled weakly and dabbed the excess tears from my face. "If you're looking for Jilly she's in the arena"
"Well, I was looking for her, but it looks like you need someone to stay right now" he said. I felt his hand move away from my shoulder.
"Thanks. I appreciate it, Zacky. I'm sorry, I look like a mess" I chuckled. I started to feel my face slowly go down to normal again.
"Its alright" he smiled politely and then turned himself to face me "So, what happened?"
"Just Billy" I shrugged "But, I guess he does have a point; I did sort of cheat on him with Sam" I twisted my lip and held back my tears.
"One, its okay to cry. Two, Girl sex is pretty hot. But I guess you just have to be careful of the guys reaction. Some think its cheating, some don't. Take me for example" he smirked and casually leaned back on the couch "If I was dating you, I wouldn't give two shits if you and Sam just dropped everything and went at it"
I laughed "That's great Zacky. But you're not dating me"
"Yeah, I guess" he mumbled and lent forward on the couch.
"I'm pretty boring, Zacky. You can leave if you want" I smiled as he slowly stood up.
"You're not boring, Gee. Are you sure you're going to be okay? I don't want to leave and have you doing shit" he waved his index finger at me.
"I'll be fine" I smiled assuringly and played with my hair. "I'll probably just watch TV or something"
"Okay" he nodded and slipped a number on the table "If you need me, just call me. I wont be far"
"Okay. Thanks" I waved as he walked down the bus stairs. I pulled my head back against the coach and closed my eyes. I flicked the TV on and let the sounds of Corey In The House fill my ears. I sighed heavily and pulled my self up from the coach for food. I rummaged through the cupboards and decided I felt for a grilled cheese sandwich. I flicked the stove on, and dug around for a pan. I set it on the stove to heat up as I buttered the bread and grabbed a cheese slice from the mini fridge. Now all I had to do was wait. I pressed down on it with a fork. The butter sizzling from the heat. I sighed, I still couldn't forget his words. "You had one". I shook my head and flipped it over.
"Just my luck, eh? Leave it to your mother to fuck everything up" I mumbled, talking to a baby that couldn't even understand me yet. I grabbed some paper towel and flicked the stove off. I walked back to the couch at sat down. "If you're a girl, just pray you don't end up like me"
"Who are you talking to?" Teresa yawned from the doorway. I dusted a few crumbs from my tank top
"I'm sorry, Ter. Did I wake you?" I asked taking another bite
"Nah. I woke up on my own" she squinted her eyes from the light and sat beside me on the couch. I handed her the other half of my sandwich. "Thanks" she smiled and proudly look a bite.
"Anytime. You were busy last night, huh?" I asked
"I was" she agreed "I enjoyed helping the crew people set up though. I can't wait to get back to school to tell everyone"
"Aw. I'm sure they can't wait to hear your stories" I chuckled and crumpled the piece of paper towel. I stuck my tongue out, aiming for the trash can. It was the only thing I'd score today.
"Good aim" Teresa gave me a thumbs up before standing up and dusting the bread crumbs off her. "But I have to go find mom. A7x's bus, right? The one in front of us?"
"You got it, girl" I smiled
I looked down at the table, where my cellphone quickly vibrated across it. I smirked and flipped it open.

"Hello?" I asked, brushing the hair out of my eyes.
"Hey, Gee!" Bob blurted into the phone. Just then, hope seemed to gleam in my eyes. Just Bob's voice made me smile.
"Bob!" I screamed and found the energy to jump up and down on the spot. "I fucking missed you. How is shit?"
"Pretty alright. How about there?" he asked.
"Its--- okay" I bit my lip, a little unsure if I should tell Bob the big news. "
"Just okay? Oh, hey, Gerard told me you were pregnant?"
I gulped back my fear. I was going to tell Bob."Yes, I am.. B..o..Bo...Bob" I studderd
"Yeah, Gee? Are you okay?"
"I know you can keep a secret, right?" I asked, biting my lip rings.
"You know it" he promised.
I took a deep breath in and out and closed my eyes "Its not Billy's kid"
"Its no--then you mean--"
"Yeah" I answered. I hung my head, my black hair dangled in my face "Please don't tell him, okay? I want to tell him myself"
"I wont, I swear. I think its better if you say anyways" he agreed
"How is everyone, anyways?" I asked.
"Everyones good, actually. Just sittin' here, being shit heads like always. We all miss you, you know"
"We love you, Gee!" I heard everyone scream in the phone. I held it an inch away from my ear.
"I love you guys more!" I yelled back.
"Ow, Geebee" Bob exclaimed.
"Sorry" I chuckled "Is Gerard doin' okay?"
"Yeah. Kind of. He still feels bad, though" he whispered. "And he wont say it, but we're pretty sure he's jealous of Billy"
"Ah. Tell him no worries there anymore" I mumbled
"'Kay, just a sec. GERARD" Bob screamed. I held the phone away from my ear again.
"What" I heard his voice echo on the phone. "Who is it?" I heard his voice on the other end "Hello?"
"I --- uh--- Hey, Gerard" I laughed nervously.
"Oh, hey Gee" he said rather coldly.
"Well, I--I guess Bob gave me the phone to tell you-- that uh, well, I'm single?" I asked myself out loud.
"Really?" he asked. His voice perked up, but I could tell he was trying to hide it
"Yeah, really" I sighed
"Cool. Here's Bob"
"Wow, thanks!" I grumbled "Way to put me on the line"
"I'm sorry, Geebee" he snickered "Man, the look on his face when you told him you were single. Ow! Oh, sorry. Can't say that. I have to go. It was nice hearing from you"
"You too, Bob. Talk to you later. Bye"
"Bye"
I flipped my phone down and suddenly felt better about myself. I felt like accomplished at least one thing. Even if it wasn't telling Gerard about his child. I guess it was just the fact that I told him something that's been going on. A smile grew on my face and I rubbed my stomach.
"There's still hope, babe"

Sam's POV

"Why lookin' so down?" I frowned and took a drink of my beer, eying Zacky who was moping on the couch.
"I just feel bad" he shrugged
"Uh, why?"
"I don't know. Gee was crying and I left. She said she was okay"
"Don't feel bad, Zacky. Seriously. She's like me, needs time alone" I nodded casually
"If you say so" he mumbled, slowly taking a drink of his alcohol
"I do say so" I smirked
"Hey, I found out why Billy's so pissed" Jimmy smirked as he walked on the bus. "I was just walking by and I heard him talking about it"
"Well, you just happen to "walk by" allot, don't you, Jimmy?" I asked
"Oh, of course" he winked "But anyways, he's pissed because you and Gee had sex".
I felt eyes stare at my back at his words. I bit my lip. "So, you're saying, this is my fault?"
"I'm not saying. Billyboy is saying" he pointed his thumb out the window before sitting down on the beanbag chair.
"Well, fuck what he has to say. Gee didn't do shit. We have a right to express our love"
"Aw" Syn smiled "See, I could care less. Girl on girl action, I'm all for it" he gave me a thumbs up
"That's great, Syn" I laughed "I'll remember to come on this bus when Gee and I are active"
"Yes, please!" everyone shouted from their areas on the bus.
"Hey, Sam" I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around and rolled my eyes at Billy
"Mhm?" I responded, setting my beer down on the counter.
"Um, can I talk to you?" he asked pointing outside. I peeked around his shoulder and shrugged.
"Sure" I mumbled, casually making my way outside.

"So, what's the big deal?" I asked him as he shut the bus door.
"Its like cheating." he answered.
"Are you a homophobe?" I asked perking my 'brow.
"No" he blurted out "I'm not a homophobe. I believe people love each other. Love can only be shared for one person, Sam. Girl or boy."
I sighed and pulled out a cigarette from my pocket. "You're right, I guess. I see your point. I'm sorry"
"I'm sorry too" he said quietly "Doesn't Syn get mad?"
"Are you kidding?" I asked sarcastically "It's Syn. He could care less"
"True" he mumbled, kicking a few rocks by his feet. "Well, I have to go"
"Wait" I said. I gripped his wrist, but he didn't turn around "What about Gee?"
"Its too late for that" he sighed as I let go of his wrist in shock. I shook my head and slid down, bracing my back against the bus. I couldn't believe this.
"Hey, what happened?" Syn asked. He grunted as he took a seat beside me.
"Its nothing" I shrugged
"Well, it looks like something" he said quietly, pressing his lips against my cheek. I smiled and pulled my lips towards his.
"Don't worry about it" I whispered. I pressed my lips on his and he returned the favor.
"Are you sure, babe?" he asked. I felt his knuckle gently pull down my cheek
"I'm sure" I smiled and quickly stood up. "I just want to do something. I'll be back"
"Alright" he nodded.

"Hey, gi' me some of that, will you?" I asked Jimmy who had just pulled out another baggy of cocaine.
"Sure. Get your ass over here" he patted the spot next to him on the couch.
After he sprinkled some on the table, I formed a line. I held my one nostril shut and snuffed the white powder back in my other one. I sniffed and runned my nose as the coke began to settle in my system. I looked over at Jimmy who smirked and ruffled my hair.
"It's all good, Sammy-o"
"It is" I nodded and set my head back on the coach. "Best feeling ever"
"True that" he chuckled.
After letting the coke sink into my system, I got up and walked outside with Syn. The cold breeze felt nice on my skin as I took my seat beside him. I felt his fingers slowly entwine with mine and I smiled.
"You're beautiful, you know that?"
"Aw, thanks" I blushed
"Well, thats the only nice compliment you're getting today" he smirked and braced his head against the back of the bus.
"Oh, I see. So its a one-a-day thing with you?" I snickered.
"You got it, babe" he winked.
"Alright. I see how you're workin' Syn" I chuckled
"Good" he nodded casually and shifted himself.
"What are we going to do tonight?" I asked
"Each other" he winked.
I shrugged and nodded "That sounds like fun. Sex two nights in a row, gotta love it"
"Totally" he agreed. He licked his lips, then tapped my thigh "Wanna go get some coffee?"
"Yeah sure" I shrugged and stood up. I dusted the dirt off my bottom before Syn snuck up behind me and laced his fingers with mine.

"Alright, what do you want?" he asked, pulling the doors open for me.
"Uh, you know, I want a hot chocolate" I nodded
"Can do" he said gradually making his way to the line up.
"MM, thanks" I smiled as the warmth ran through my body. The heat from the hot chocolate warmed my red fingers as we made our journey back to the bus.
"No problem" he smiled and took a small sip of his coffee. "You enjoying this tour so far?"
"I am, actually. Gotta boyfriend out of it" I winked at him. He glared at me before taking another sip
"Better not be using me. My sperm comes at a price you know"
"Oh, does it?" I asked curiously "I didn't have to pay"
"Not yet, anyway" he chuckled "You only have to pay if its not out of luve"
"Oh, okay" I snorted "I'll keep that in mind"
"Yeah. Jimmy has to pay all the time" Syn said, taking another mouthful of the hot coffee.
"That's what I thought" I laughed and took another long sip. The liquid once again sent warmth through my body.

Jilly's POV

"Hey, I'm going over to A7x bus to party. I'll be back after, 'kay?"
"Alright, Jilly. Be safe" Gee winked as I ran out the door.
I chuckled and walked over to their bus. I heard the music faintly through the steel door. I knocked loudly and waited about two minuets before knocking again.
"'Ey, come on it" Johnny waved, holding the door open for me.
"Thanks, broth'a" I winked and made my way up the stairs. Everyone looked over at me and raised their beers in triumph
"Hey!" they all shouted, then turned their heads back to their game of poker.
"Hey, Jilly" Sam waved as she came out from the back of the bus with Syn. Her hair was a mess and her shirt was on inside out.
"Not even going to ask" I pointed and shouted over the loud music.
"What?" she asked, looking down at what I was pointing too.
"Your shirts on inside out, Sam. You and Syn must've been havin' some fun?"
"Just a bit" she winked and handed me a Rock Star Vodka "Help yourself, Hun."
"Thanks" I nodded and clicked the can open, taking a long drink. I looked around the small area, but Zacky was nowhere to be found. I twisted my lip and slowly made my way to the back of the bus. "Zacky?" I called out. "Zacky, come on, man, answer me" I frowned. I heard a heavy sigh, and looked in the darkened direction that it came from. I stood on my tippy-toes and peeked my head into his top bunk. "Zacky, what's wrong?"
"Nothing" I heard him say sourly.
I pulled my eyebrows together and shut the door so I could hear him better. The music and shouting was now muffled as I searched around for a light. I flicked it on, its dimness just making Zacky visible. His head was stuffed into a pillow.
"Can you turn the light off, please?" he asked.
"Why?" I asked taking a small sip of my Rock Star.
"Just because" he snapped, burying his face deeper into the pillow.
"Okay, okay, before you smother yourself" I mumbled and flicked the light back off. "So, do you want to tell me what's wrong?"
"I don't know" he sighed. I watched as his figure moved. I could feel his warm breath on my face.
"Well, would you like a drink of Rock Star?" I asked
"Yeah sure" he shrugged and took the can out of my hand. I heard him swallow and take another sip before handing it back "Thanks"
"Don't worry about it. You look like you could use a drink" I smiled and grabbed what felt like his hand "So, are you going to tell me what's wrong now?"
"Maybe" he shrugged. "Why don't you come up here and then I will"
"Alright, I will" I smiled to my self and climbed up the bunk ladder. I sat down near the foot of the bunk and heard Zacky grunt as he sat up. "I'm up"
"So I see" he chuckled, then shifted again. "I don't know." he sighed heavily and clapped his hands together "Did you ever like someone, but they're with someone else? But you don't want to seem like the bad guy and ruin everything for them, yet you just can't help but think how life would be like with that person"
"Aw, Zacky" I frowned and took another drink of my Rock Star. "I know exactly how that feels."
"Yeah, it sucks" he mumbled
"Well, it does, but you never know what the futures going to bring. Remember that"
"I know. But I'm not getting my hopes up, Jilly. They're in a pretty strong relationship and I'd hate to see it end because of me"
"Aw. I don't think it would end because of you. I think it would end because that's what life made it" I said. I was proud of myself for sounding so smart.
"Yeah, I guess" he mumbled again.
I took another long drink of the Rock Star, the alcohol was starting to sink into my system. I extended my arm out and handed the can to Zacky
"Here, take another drink" I said. I could feel the can violently shaking in my hand. I was getting pretty tipsy. I felt him grasp the can. I seen his figure lift it up to his lips. He tilted his head back and took a big mouth full before handing it back.
"Thanks" he breathed, smacking his lips.
"Hey, don't worry about it" I waved it off and drank a good perfect of it. "You can have the rest, if you want it?" I asked.
"Nah, I'm good. I had a few beers earlier" he admitted
"Alright" I smiled and downed the rest of the can. I tilted my head back against the wall. I felt the Vodka burn my throat and stomach as it began to slowly take affect on me.
"So, how are you?" he asked
"I'm good, thanks" I responded slowly. "Did I wake you up or anything?"
"No, no you didn't. I was just back here thinking about some shit"
"What were ya thinkin' about?" I asked, slowly inching my way close to Zacky. I was so close that our knees pressed together.
"Just stuff" he answered. Casually, I slid my hand over to his and gently placed it on top
"What kind of stuff?" I asked, perking my 'brow.
"Um" he grunted and shifted uncomfortably. "About this girl that I like"
"Oh yeah?" I answered. I brought my hand up to his face and ran my three fingers down his soft face. "Who's that girl?" I whispered, my lips gently touching his as I spoke. I closed my eyes.
"You" he whispered back and pressed his lips onto mine. My eyes closed fully and I pushed Zacky down on the bunk by his shoulders. I slid my hands up to his jawline and gripped it, kissing him harder. I felt his tongue run across my bottom lip. I slowly opened my mouth more and felt our tongues collide together. I breathed heavily as he pinned me to the bottom, climbing on top of me and continuing to kiss me hungrily. I ran my hands up the back of his neck and tangled my fingers into his messy hair. I panted as his hands wandered down to the hem of my shirt. I closed my eyes tighter as stream of light ran through the door.
"Hey, Zacky---whoa!" Johnny yelled, quickly walking back out.
I felt Zacky pull away from me and my eyes slowly fluttered open. I blinked a few times to adjust to the light. I sat up and looked around the back. Zacky had disappeared.
"You guys see Zacky?" I asked, grabbing another Rock Star from the fridge.
"Uh, he ran outside somewhere" Jimmy answered "Sorry about Johnny ruining your moment" he nudged him
"Its okay" I smiled and stumbled off the bus.

"Zacky?" I called out, clicking the other can open. I was going to drink this one casually this time. "Zacky, please, we need to talk"
"Jilly, I'm so sorry" he whispered behind me. I turned around and faced him, almost stumbling on the spot. He quickly grabbed me by my elbow.
"Zacky, please, don't even worry about it".
He bit his lip and looked down at the ground shyly. "Look, you're half tipsy. You'll realize your mistake tomorrow."
"Zacky, please. Don't feel that way" I frowned and pulled him into a hug. "I'll still talk to you even when I'm not drunk"
"Okay. I'll let you sleep it off and we'll just talk tomorrow" he shrugged and made his way back into the bus. I sighed to myself and took another drink.
We'd just have to wait and see tomorrow.