Like a Shattered Mirror

I got up for school. It had been a month since Gary left me all alone. The pain was there, but I buried it with pain medications that no one knew I was taking. The lithium helped the depression as well. The one thing I had turned down was therapy. I could solve my problems the American way. And maybe I could die of overdose!

Oh, the bad thing about my being hyped up on drugs, I was a bit insane. But the insanity wasn't what was making me suicidal: I just had nothing to live for now. My mind was at war with my body and my body wasn't so strong. No doubt my mind would overtake my body and I would kill myself. No amount of lithium could change that.

I skipped to school, deliberately putting myself in the street. I was just waiting for a semi to sweep me off my feet. But that wasn't a fun way to go! So I skipped merrily past a construction site, watching them work as I waited for some heavy machinery to smash my skull in.

But I was going to be late! So I left the site with my head held high, until I saw Garrett walking to school as well. He saw me and looked down. I grinned absurdly and ran up to him.

"Hi!!!" I screamed in his ear, falling backwards onto the road, looking for cars.

"Get out of the street!"

"Why?" I asked, patting the pavement. "It's niiiiiice! And comfy!" I tapped my head against it, hoping to knock myself out. "Oh well!" I jumped up. "Fancy meeting you here, guy!"

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Are you okay?"

"Yes!" I shrieked. "But I have a killer headache. Hold on." I riffled through my bag and pulled out some more meds. "I can solve that!"

"Holy shit! Amanda, what the hell!!" He snatched my bag from me and I screamed.

"That's mine!!" I jumped and reached for it, but he was taller. I pouted, sitting down and feeling a bit more insane that usual.

"Where did you get this?" he growled.

"The pharmacy, duh." I laughed at him. "I can feel my heart, so give me my pills."

"What?"

"I feel it beating, that's bad. I want it to stop so I can have peace and quiet! Give me my lithium!" I screamed.

"No! That's not healthy!"

"Neither is being on every pain medication known to man, but if that's wrong I don't wanna be right."

"Amanda, you could get in trouble for this. You could die!"

Try as he might, he was not going to make me stop taking the junk in my bag.

"So?" Crap, I could make sense now and my heart...it hurt so bad! "Give me it!" I gasped, falling to the ground. I couldn't get any air in my lungs.

"What!"

I started crying right there and clutching at my heart. It was beating so wildly and now my eyes and head hurt. My muscles tightened up and I rolled around in agony. I bet I must have looked pretty strange.

"I need them!" I cried. "You're trying to kill me. Thank you," I whispered to him, letting my head be taken into darkness. I couldn't care less about what happened to me. But Garrett had better get rid of those pills or he could get in trouble for possession...