The Good Life

I laid in bed, running a hand over my stomach, it’s been a month since we found out I was pregnant, and my stomach has grown into small, yet noticeable bump. I was waiting for Joe to get out of the shower so we could go to the doctor for the three month check up. I felt myself drifting off to sleep and the next thing I knew I felt Joe’s hand running along my face, “Kayden, sweetie, it’s time to go.” I groaned and stretched on the bed. “Come on.” He said taking my hands and pulling me up. “What time is it?” I groaned standing up. “3:15. We have to hurry.” I pulled on a pair of my jeans and buttoned them just under my small bump leaving a small strip of skin exposed under my black t-shirt. Joe grabbed my hand and led me to the car grabbing my purse and a bottle of apple juice for me from the refrigerator.

We sat in the waiting room, Joe’s legs bouncing up and down his hand resting on my upper thigh. “Stop it.” I said picking up his hand off my thigh and interlacing our fingers together, “It’s going to be fine.” He smiled and leaned towards me, I met him halfway and pecked his lips a few times before pulling back and looking up at him, “I’m just excited I guess—I mean we actually get to see him.” He said his eyes shining with happiness. “Or her.” I corrected. “Or her.” He grinned.

“Jonas.” A nurse called through the open door. Joe and I stood and followed her through a small hallway into an examination room. “Just climb on up here and lay back and the doctor will be here in a few minutes.” She said smiling at us before walking out. Joe had taken a seat in the chair next to the door and his attention was shifting from poster to poster that hung on the walls about pregnancy and the uterus. I smiled and reached out to him, “Please come over here.” I pouted, “You feel so far away.” He stood and came around the table so he was facing the door and leaned on his elbows, his face looming over mine. “Better?” He asked. I smiled and nodded brushing the hair from his forehead. “Much.”

I heard the door click open and the doctor walked in, “Hi. Joe.” He said. Joe stood up straight and shook his hand with a nod, “Dr. Nikels.” He placed his hand on my stomach, “And how are we?” he asked me with a smile. “Excellent.” I replied. I came to Dr. Nikels after I found out I was pregnant, this was our first ultrasound though, last time was just to check and see if I was healthy and what not. “Are you ready?” He asked eying Joe and I. I looked over and Joe and he smiled down at me and grabbed my hand, holding it softly between both of his. “We’re ready.” I breathed out.

Dr. Nikels lifted my shirt and squirted the gel on my stomach and rubbed it in with the sensor. The machine’s screen lit up and he rubbed it gently around my stomach. I looked up to Joe who was staring intently at the screen waiting for something to appear. “Ah ha.” I heard Dr. Nikels say. I whipped my head around and saw it. There it was…our baby. “There’s the head and the two arms…and the legs.” Dr. Nikels said pointing out each one. I grinned up at Joe who ran a finger down my face, ‘I love you.’ He mouthed. ‘I love you.’ I mouthed back squeezing his hand. I saw Dr. Nikel’s expression change, his eyebrows and lips were both set in a hard line, and my smile faded, “What’s wrong?” I asked panic washing over my face. “Well…” He trailed off. “What?” Joe asked loudly. I winced but kept my attention on the doctor. “We should be able to hear the heartbeat.

My breaths got short and my bottom lip quivered. I looked up at Joe who looked mortified. He gulped and looked down at me with worried eyes. I felt the ultrasound wand moving around my stomach, tears were sliding down my cheeks and I turned back and watching the screen intently, awaiting the news. I glanced up at Joe who’s eyes were shut tightly his lips slightly moving, praying…I assumed.

And then I heard it. It wasn’t very loud, but it was there. A steady constant beat. Our baby’s heart. A huge weight lifted from my chest and cries escaped my throat, happy cries. I was so overjoyed. Joe leaned down, his forehead against mine, eyes shut, breathing heavy. “Thank you, oh my God. Thank you.” He breathed. He pulled back and kissed my forehead. Dr. Nikels let his breath out also, “Do you want a print out?” he asked, smiling. I nodded, “Oh yes. Please.” He printed out the ultrasound picture and wiped off my stomach. “Well, everything looks good. Come back in 4 weeks and we’ll be able to tell you the sex…If you want to know.” He said pulling my shirt down. “You’re free to go.” He smiled and walked out as Joe helped me off the table, pulling me into a hug, swaying back and forth, a silent communication running through both of us. It was going to be okay.

Once we got home, I pulled myself onto the island and Joe came and stood in front of me. “Hungry?” He asked before nuzzling his head into my neck. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck, weaving my fingers into the hair behind his head, rubbing small circles. “Grilled cheese?” I asked. He pulled back and smiled, “Aaand.” He teased. I had started having weird cravings this past week, morning sickness also, I think my cravings triggered the morning sickness, both were no fun. “Aaand pickles. No, green olives, no black—ah—green—green olives, please.” I smiled sheepishly at him. He leaned forward a placed his lips on mine, moving them slowly against mine. I felt his tongue run across my bottom lip, and I parted my lips and tilted my head to the side, deepening the kiss, I moaned into his mouth and wrapped my legs around him, pulling us closer together. His hands slipped under my shirt and up my back, giving me goose bumps. I ran my hands down his chest, under his shirt and behind his back.

I arched my back, pulling him against me and my stomach let out a huge growl. Joe stopped and laughed into my mouth, puling away. “Nooo.” I whined keeping my hands in his hair, trying to pull him back to me. He smiled and pecked my lips a few times, “Nu uh. I’m feeding you.” He said pulling away and going to the refrigerator.

After we ate, I was putting out plates into the dishwasher when I heard Joe’s cell phone ringing. “Hello?...Ugh…hey…uhh yeah…I guess…um give me twenty minutes…yeah…okay…um bye.” I heard him walk up behind me. “Who was that?” I asked. “Uhm, Nick…we have to go up to the studio for a while to work on Kam’s stuff…” Joe, Nick and Kevin had been working in the studio with Kam the past week or so. They were collaborating with her on a new song, which included writing it, figuring out vocals and melodies, and perfecting it.

I turned and leaned into him. “Alright.” I sighed. “Hurry up…okay?” He kissed temple, “I’ll try.” He said before turning and walking out the door.

I watched T.V. for a little while, laying in bed with Kipp when I decided I couldn’t lay down anymore. I got up and decided to head over to the Jonas’ to talk to Denise about the ultrasound. She was the most excited about the pregnancy, she was going to have her first grandchild and was absolutely ecstatic due to the fact. I grabbed the ultrasound pictures and headed to her house.

I pulled in the driveway and moseyed up to the door lightly knocking, waiting for someone to answer the door. I heard voices and then the door swung open revealing Nick. I drew back slightly confused. “Hey Nick.” I said hugging him, “Aren’t you going to meet Joe?” His eyebrows furrowed and he looked at me confused, “Um, no…why?” My stomach sank, he lied to me. “Oh, maybe I misunderstood him, he might’ve said Kevin.” Nick turned and looked awkwardly into the house, “Well—” I stepped into the house, “Oh hey Kayden.” I looked up to see, “Kevin—hey.” I swallowed hard and looked around, “Where’s Denise?”

Nick nodded towards the den and I slid past the two walking down the hall, into the den. I could hear Nick and Kevin talking in hushed whispers, obviously about me and the fact the Joe had blatantly lied to me. I took deep breaths trying to talk myself into a good reason he had lied. I was coming up with nothing. I was forcing the tears back and walked in faking a smile, “Hi, Denise.” She looked up from the TV and turned, “Kayden, oh, how are you? How’d the doctor go?” I hugged her and sat on the couch next to her, showing her the pictures, talking about the doctor visit and everything the doctor said. I glanced at the clock a while later and saw it was getting close to nine, “Well, I should go…Joe will be home soon.” She smiled and hugged me. “I’m so happy for you two.” I half smiled back at her and left quickly trying to avoid Nick and Kevin and their questions.

When I pulled in the garage and founds Joe’s car to still be missing. I frowned and walked inside and settled onto the couch, turning on the TV, I WOULD talk to him tonight and get my answers. As I watched the time change in between TV shows, I felt sicker and sicker. I finally turned off the TV and stuck to watching the numbers on the clock change. At 1:49 I heard the garage door opening. A few moments later I heard him come in and head for the stairs, I heard him go up a few steps, then his steps come back down, “Kayden?” He asked, his footsteps getting closer. I kept my eyes forward, but I could see him from the corner of my eye. “Kayden? Bab—” I cut him off, “Where’ve you been?” I saw him shift, “I told you, I met Nick at the studio to work on Kam’s thing.” He was still using that bullshit lie. “How’d it go?” I asked with no emotion. “It was good—um—Why are you still up?”

I stood and walked over to stand in front of him, “I don’t know Joe—maybe because I went to your parent’s house and BOTH of your brothers who you were ‘with all night’ were there…and that means you lied to me, so I’ve been sitting up trying to figure out exactly what I did for you to lie to me.” I saw his pained eyes when I spoke that way and I wiped my eyes, I don’t know when the tears started coming, but there was a steady stream running down my face. “Where were you Joe?” He took a step closer to me, reaching for my sides. “Kayden—” I stepped back, “Joe.” He never answered me, his eyes bore into mine, pleading with me. That only made me more angry, I gritted my teeth together and clenched my fists, “Where the fuck were you Joe? Who were you with?!” He cringed at the harshness of my voice, his eyes drifting closed. “Kayden—I can’t tell you—” I shook my head, “This is bullshit—save it Joe.” He went to say something but I held up my hand, “—Just save it.”

I pushed past him and ran up the stairs, letting the loud sobs escape my throat. I couldn’t do this. I didn’t understand…How could he do this, he lied and now he won’t tell me what he’s lying about. I slammed our door and locked it, sinking into the bed, crying my eyes out, trying to exhaust myself into sleep. He had never lied to me and this hurt me more than anything. He was keeping something from me, something he didn’t want me to know, that he was trying to cover up.

Joe never came in, the whole night, I don’t know where I slept and I didn’t care. When I woke up, it was early. My chest was aching and there was a throbbing pain in my head making it feel heavier. I walked to the door to go downstairs and let Kipp out, dragging myself to the door I unlocked it, and went to take a step out but Joe’s sleeping body blocked my path. He laid curled tightly in a ball in front of our door looking extremely uncomfortable. I clapped my hand over my mouth trying to cover a loud sob. I was unsuccessful, I saw Joe stir and I felt the sickness creeping up my throat.

I turned and ran to the bathroom, throwing the lid back and heaving over the toilet, emptying my stomach. I felt Joe pull my hair back into a bundle and softly blow on my neck. I laid my head to the side and looked up at him, “Are you ready to tell me?” He let go of my hair, letting it fall to the side, his eyes dropped and he looked away from me. “I think you should leave.” His head snapped back to me, “Wha—Kayden—no—I want to be here with you.” I shook my head, “Until you can be honest with me and tell me what I did that you think you need to lie to me to cover up whatever you’re doing behind my back, then I don’t want to be here with you.” I said my bottom lip quivering, promising more tears, and my heart feeling like it was being squeezed in my chest.

Complying to my request, he cleaned my face off, ran his fingers along my cheek, wiped his watering eyes and left. “I won’t be gone long.” He said with his back turned to me, “I promise…and I’m sorry.” He whispered.