The Good Life

“Kayden?” I heard Joe call from the doorway, flicking on the lights. “What?” I groaned squinting my eyes in the harsh light. “Pizza’s here, you want some?” I struggled to sit up and leaned against the headboard. “Yes please.” I replied closing my eyes as I heard Joe’s footsteps padding back down the stairs.

I was almost eight months pregnant and as of 2 weeks ago, I had been put on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. It was hard for me to move, I had gotten huge and my small frame couldn’t support the baby.

Joe came in a few minutes later with a box of pizza and a bottle of Gatorade. He climbed on the bed, sitting next to me and placing the box on his legs. After we were done, Joe set the empty pizza box on the floor and sat in front of me setting my feet in his lap. I smiled as he began rubbing the bottom of my foot with his thumbs.

“How’re you feeling?” He asked looking up at me. “Miserable.” I replied. “I feel like I’m about to burst, I’m sweating, and my back is killing me.” He sighed. “I’m sorry…I wish there was something I could do for you.” I shrugged. “You’re doing everything you can to help me…you go out of your way for me. I really do appreciate it…I don’t tell you that enough.”

He stopped rubbing my feet and looked up at me. “Babe, you’re carrying our child, it’s hard on you. I know. You don’t have to apologize or thank me. I want to help you.” I smiled and patted the spot next to me. “Come here.” He crawled into the space next to me. “I miss cuddling with you.” I said laying my head on his shoulder. His fingers stroked my arm and he chuckled a little, “Babe, we cuddle all the time.” I frowned, “Not like we used to before this.” I said dropping my hands on my stomach. “I’m huge.” I pouted.

Joe rubbed his hand over my stomach. “Kayden…you’re not huge.” I glared at him, “Okay Joe.” I said turning to look out the window. “Hey, hey.” He said, hooking his finger around my chin and pushing my face to his. I stared at his nose and sniffed back tears that threatened to fall. Stupid hormones always making me cry. “Look at me Kayden.” My eyes slowly made the journey to meet his. “You are just as beautiful as you were the day I laid eyes on you.”

I smiled and he leaned forward, rolling his forehead against mine. “I love you.” I whispered. “Love you too.” He said softly placing his lips on mine. Just as the kiss started to heat up I pulled back. “Sorry to ruin the moment, but I have to pee.” I said biting my lip. Joe hung his head and laughed. “Come on.”

The next two weeks went by slow and painful. There wasn’t one position that I could get comfortable in, I couldn’t sleep well at night, I was irritable and cranky, and miserable. “I just want her out.” I complained to Joe while we were watching Oprah one afternoon. “Soon, babe.” Was all he said, grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers, his eyes never leaving the TV.

“I know.” I sighed. “But, she hurts. She’s been working out or something.” Joe barked in laughter, causing me to laugh. “No really, she kicks so hard.” He laid his head on my stomach, “Baby, you can’t do that to mommy, it hurts her.” I cringed, “Ahh—stop—it’s worse when you talk. She gets to excited.”

He grinned and leaned closer to my ear and whispered, “Better?” I nodded and kissed the spot behind his ear. “Well…” He said after a few minutes. “Hmm?” I asked directing my attention back to him. “What are we going to name her?” My face dropped, “I haven’t even thought about that.” Joe shrugged. “We can’t call her baby all the time when she’s born.” He chuckled. I thought for a moment. “How about her middle name be Elizabeth?” He asked quietly. I let my eyes drift up to meet his. “For your mom.” He added. A weak smile formed on my lips and I nodded. “Yeah.” I whispered. “I like that.” He smiled and pulled me closer to him. “You know what I really like?” He asked. “What?” He stroked my fingers, “McKenna.”

I turned and looked at him. “McKenna Elizabeth.” I said softly. “I love that.” Joe grinned and kissed my forehead. “Me too.”

Later that night I woke up in the middle of the night with a sharp pain in my pelvis. “Ugh. Stupid bladder.” I mumbled. I turned my head and looked at Joe who was sprawled out next to me breathing heavily. He was exhausted. I didn’t want to wake him so I slowly slid out of bed and waddled into the bathroom. I shut my eyes in the bright light and settled on the toilet. When I got up I went to pull up my sweatpants when I saw the blood. I looked into the toilet to see the water a shade of red.

I panicked, “Joe!” I sobbed. “Joe! I need you.” I cried. Joe appeared in the door way, his glasses over his bloodshot eyes, his hair disheveled. I saw the color drain from his face when he saw my sweatpants. “What happened?” He asked running over to me and holding my shoulders. “I-I don’t know I just got up to go to the bathroom and I was bleeding.” I cried. Joe turned and grabbed another pair of sweatpants handing them to me. “Come on, we’re going to the hospital.” I stepped into the sweatpants and Joe grabbed my hand and led me down the stairs grabbing his phone and keys.

Joe parked on the curb at the front of the hospital and came to my side, cradling me in his arms. “Come on, babe, I got you. It’s going to be okay.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face into his shoulder, muffling my sobs.

“Help us.” Joe said walking into the emergency room. A nurse jumped up from behind the desk. “What happened?” She asked pulling a wheelchair over to us from along the wall. “I don’t know, she woke up to go to the bathroom and she was bleeding, I brought her straight here.” I heard Joe saying. He sounded distant and I was fighting to keep my eyes open. “Joe.” I said weakly when he set me down in the wheelchair, reaching for his hand. “Yeah, I’m here. I’m right here.” He said. I was being wheeled down a hall and into a room where a doctor was waiting. “Sir, you need to wait outside.” The doctor said gesturing to Joe. I instantly panicked. “No!” I cried. “I need him.” The doctor shook his head, “Ma’am he needs to wait out—” I vigorously shook my head. “No! No no. Please no. Joe don’t leave me.” Joe’s face was pale, and I could see the tearstains on his cheeks. “Doctor, please.”

The doctor turned to the nurse, “Get him cleaned up and some scrubs.” She nodded and pulled Joe out of the room. “He’ll be right back.” The doctor told me. “We need to see what’s going on with you.” Three nurses came in and changed me into a hospital gown. I was led back into the room and Joe was there the pains shooting through my stomach were causing me to double over in pain and as soon as I laid on the table, Joe’s hand was in mine and an IV was being placed in my arms. I felt the doctor examining me and I kept my drowsy eyes on Joe.

“We have to do a C-section now.” The doctor announced. “You or your baby is at serious risk. Your uterus is starting to tear and if the baby is exposed to the chemicals in your body…it could be fatal.” My head was swimming and I nodded. The doctor turned to Joe who nodded also, “Do what you have to do.” I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks and Joe leaned over me. “Babe you’re going to be okay.” He said stroking my hair. “I’m scared, Joe.” I sobbed. “I’m so scared.” He set his forehead against mine. “Me too. I love you.” He whispered. “I love you so much. Stay strong, babe. Don’t give up.” I cried harder. “I love you.” I choked out.

They gave me an epidural in the exam room and thirty minutes later I was numb from the neck down and lying on a table in an Operating Room. Joe had called everyone and they were in the waiting room. Joe stayed with me the whole time, watching me with worried eyes. “It’s going to be okay.” He kept telling me. I couldn’t stop crying. I could lose my child.

The doctors came in and hung the sheet in front of me. I heard the tools moving around and I watched Joe’s face turn sickeningly white as I assumed the doctors were cutting into me. “Joe.” I whimpered. He kneeled next to me and pushed the sweaty hair off of my face. “You’re going to be okay…It’s okay.” My head was spinning and I couldn’t focus on him anymore. I winced as the beeping got louder. “Kayden?” I heard Joe’s voice. “Kayden, baby, look at me.” I just wanted the dizziness and the noises to stop. “Joe.” I said breathlessly. And then there was nothing.

Joe’s P.O.V.

“Joe.” She breathed my name, and then she shut her eyes and nothing.

“Kayden! No!” I said running my hand along her face. “Sir, it’s fine, her body is under a lot of stress, she can’t handle it right now.” I nodded and a few minutes later I heard the baby cry and the doctor say, "Baby Jonas, born May 5 at 4:38 AM." I never got a good look at her, the nurse took her into a side room before I knew she was gone. “What’s going on?” I asked the doctor. “They need to check her out, there were some complications.” I hung my head and let the silent tears fall. They cleaned and stitched up Kayden and brought her into her room. The whole family came in and saw us, assuring me that it’s be alright and they all promised they’d be back to see us tomorrow when everything was sorted out, visiting hours were over and there was nothing they could do at the moment. I was in a daze, the only thing I could think about was my daughter and if she would make it. And Kayden, would she ever see our baby? I laid over her legs on the bed, watching her face for any sign of movement.

That’s when the nurse came in, “Mr. Jonas?” She asked knocking lightly on the door. I looked up at her acknowledging her presence. “The baby is stable now, you can come and see her if you’d like.” I nodded and followed the nurse down the hall to a hallway that had a sign, ‘Infant ICU.’ We walked into a room with a nurses station in the middle and incubators lining the walls. She found the one that had a tag that read ‘Mckenna Elizabeth Jonas.’ And pulled up a chair next to it. “Here you go.” I nodded in her direction. “Thank you.”

I stood next to the incubator and looked down at her, my daughter. She was beautiful. Just like Kayden. She had dark hair and her eyes laid lazily closed, her stomach rising and falling deeply with each breath. I slid my hand into the protective glove that allowed you to reach inside. I smiled, the tears streaming down my face, slowly stroking her tiny arm. Her eyes slowly lifted, revealing two big beautiful green eyes that matched Kayden’s.

“Hey McKenna.” I said softly. “I can’t wait until your mommy can see how beautiful you are.” I wiped the tears with the back of my hand. I saw her eyes getting heavy, drifting back closed and I sat in the chair in front of her and watched her. She was mine. Half of her was me. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen and I couldn’t help but stare at her, wandering what she was going to be like.

After a while I headed back to Kayden’s room so I could be there when she woke up. I stood at the end of the bed, watching her, comparing her features to our daughter’s and smiled. I got antsy and started pacing. I needed her. I needed her to be awake.

Kayden’s P.O.V.

I could hear a low, steady beeping.. There was a slight glow in the room and my body was aching. I struggled to open my heavy eyelids and saw Joe pacing at the foot of the bed. “Joe.” I managed to hoarsely croak out. His head snapped over to look at me, revealing his bloodshot, red eyes. “Kayden, oh my God. Kayden” He ran to my side and sat next to me on the bed, “Are you okay?” I ignored his question and looked around the room, “The baby?” I asked, worried tears sliding down my cheeks. Joe’s face fell and he looked down at his hands, “She’s in an incubator for the moment. She wasn’t doing so great.” He sniffed, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. I hung my head and let the tears flow, sobs escaping my throat. Joe slide in next to me and wrapped his arms around me. “Do you want to go see her?” I looked over at him, “Can we?” I asked. “Yeah.” He said, brushing my hair back and got off the bed and crossed the room to get the wheel chair.

“Have you been?” I asked as I settled into the wheel chair. He looked down at me and smiled, “Yeah.” His voice cracked a little, “She’s beautiful.” I smiled, happy tears coming to my eyes, “Is she?” He nodded, “Looks just like you.” He said pressing his lips on my forehead.

We got into the room that had a dimly lit, Joe stopped in front of an incubator that was marked ‘McKenna Elizabeth Jonas.’ I smiled at her name and Joe helped me stand, I held onto him as I peered into the case. Tears once again sprung into my eyes. “Oh my God.” I whispered, slipping my hand into the glove. I rubbed along the side of her head with my finger. Her eyes opened and she looked up at us. “Joe.” I said looking over at him. He smiled at me, “Told you.” I sniffled and watched her breathing and stretching and glancing around taking everything in.

“She’s perfect.” I breathed, leaning my head on Joe’s shoulder. His arms wrapped around my back, tugging the ends of my hair. We watched her for a while and I leaned more into Joe. “Tired?” He asked. “I just can’t stand anymore.” I said as he helped me into the wheel chair. “I don’t want to leave her.” I said laying my hands on the glass. Joe kneeled in front of me. “You need to rest, babe. I promise we’ll see her soon.” I nodded knowing he was right and allowed him to wheel me back into the room and help me into bed.

“Come lay with me.” I said moving over to the side of the bed. He laid next to me and I snuggled into his side. “You’re amazing.” He said kissing my forehead. “You have all of my respect, you were so strong and…just amazing.” I smiled, “I love you.” He brought his lips to my ear, planting a small kiss there, “I love you too.”