On and On

I woke up, extremely comfortable, cuddled into Joe’s side, my head resting on his bare chest. I sucked in a deep breath and stretched my legs, smiling when I felt Joe’s fingers running through the ends of my hair.

“Sorry,” he whispered, his voice raspy, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

I looked up and chuckled at his tussled hair before pecking his lips. “You didn’t, I have to pee.” I smiled, quickly getting up and shuffling to the bathroom. I heard him laugh and by the time I was finished I returned to the bed, finding McKenna, Milo, and Braden had made their way into the room.

“Hi mommy.” They all grinned at me from their places sprawled out on our bed, Braden silently getting up and walking to the edge of the bed, holding his arms out to me. I felt my face soften and I lightly pulled him into a hug.

“Morning Bray.”

He hummed in response and I crawled back in next to Joe, hooking my leg through his and pulling Braden close to my side, McKenna and Milo taking it upon themselves to get comfortable around us.

“So, me and mommy went to the doctor yesterday to see the baby.”

McKenna’s head perked up, “Baby’s sick?” She asked, her eyes tinged with worry.

I shook my head, “No sweetie, we just went to check on the baby.”

“Oh,” She sighed glancing down at my stomach, “What kind is it?”

I heard Joe laughing and I grinned down at her, “It’s a boy, Kenna. You’re going to have another brother.” I smiled.

She seemed to be the only one interested. Braden was half asleep again, his thumb hanging lazily in his mouth and Milo’s full attention was set on the unraveling string on his sleeve.

Her eyes went a little wider and she laid back down next to Joe, her face scrunched in thought. I looked at Joe questioningly and he shrugged, ‘I don’t know’ he mouthed.

“So, what do you say we do something fun today?” Joe asked, grinning down at Milo who jumped up, straddling Joe’s chest.

“The fishys! The fishys daddy!”

Joe laughed, “The aquarium?”

“Yeah! The aqrar-nium!” His face contorted in confusion at the new word.

Joe continued laughing and tickled his sides, “Alright little man, aquarium it is.” He promised, looking at me for confirmation.

I chuckled and looked down at Braden who was curled tightly into my side. I lightly ran my fingers under his chin,

“Braden, baby.” His eyes opened lazily and he looked up at me.

“You want to go to the aquarium?” I asked, smiling.

He snuggled farther into me, and shivered, shutting his eyes again. “Nuh-uh.” He mumbled.

I frowned and turned to Joe, “I think he’s getting sick.” I sighed pressing the back of my hand to his small forehead, and feeling that he did indeed have a fever, “I’m going to stay with him.”

Joe halfway crawled over me, setting his chin right above my stomach and reaching out, brushing his fingers through Braden’s dark hair, causing his eyes to flutter open once again.

“Hey buddy.” Joe cooed, “You don’t feel good?”

Braden rubbed his eye with his small fist and shook his head.

Joe turned and looked at me, his eyes worried. None of them had ever really been sick. McKenna, surprisingly never caught anything which I was more than thankful for. She was quite pouty and demanding and tending to her every beck and call especially while she was sick would be twice the work.

I smiled and rubbed his back, “He’ll been fine, honey.”

My words did nothing to ease his mind and he stared down at our once again sleeping son, “How about you stay with him and get ready to go and I’ll get the other two ready?” I offered since he’d have to deal with Hyper and Hyper-er all day that I’d be the one to get them ready.

He looked up at me and back to Braden, “You sure?” He asked.

I nodded and pecked his cheek. I patted his back and he moved out the way, allowing me to maneuver around the both of them to the edge of the bed, motioning for McKenna and Milo to follow me.

“Mommy.” I heard Braden choke out.

I turned around and my heart broke at his pale face, his bottom lip puckered out and his eyes glazed over with tears. I quickly walked over, leaning over him,

“Hey baby. Daddy’s going to stay with you, I’ll be back, okay?”

He nodded and Joe scooted next to him, tucking him under the thick comforter.

I hated that he was hurting. It’s weird when you have a kid of your own, you don’t understand how selfless you become, I’d do anything to make them not hurt.

I was in McKenna’s bathroom fixing her hair, she’d been quiet since the ‘another brother’ conversation so I was glad when she brought it up, meaning she was ready to talk about it.

“Mommy?”

“McKenna.”

“Another brother?” She asked.

I nodded, “Yeah honey. A brother. What do you think about that?” I asked looking at her through the mirror.

She shrugged, “I don’t know.”

I smiled, running my fingers through her long waves. “Well, are you sad?”

“No.” She answered simply.

“So, you want another brother?”

“I love Milo and Braden.”

I smiled. She was all for this. She’d be the only girl. The spoiled one. As of now, she was the only girl grandchild so not only was she spoiled by Joe and I, but also her grandparents and her uncles.

I gave McKenna her clothes to change in to and walked to Milo’s room, pulling him away from his toys on the floor to get him dressed too.

“Mommy. I want to wear this!” He stamped his foot holding up his bathing suit.

“Milo, honey, it’s really cold outside, you can’t wear that.”

“But mommm, I love it.” He whined.

I sighed in frustration and tried to take them from him. “No! Mommy please.” I heard his voice cracking and knew a tantrum was coming on.

“Milo, please put pants on baby.”

He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows at me.

“Okay.” I gave up. “On the count of three, I’m calling daddy.”

He narrowed his eyes, daring me to do it.

“1…” He stood his ground.

“2…” Nothing.

“3…” I said slowly. He didn’t give up.

“Joe!” I called loudly.

I watched worry wash over Milo’s face as Joe stuck his head in a few seconds later, “Yeah, babe?”

“Well, Milo wants to wear his bathing suit and he’s fighting with me about wearing pants.”

Joe straightened up in the doorway and crossed his arms across his chest, “Milo.” He said sternly.

Almost instantly he dropped the swimsuit and took the pants from my hands, sighing in defeat in the process.

I smiled pushed myself up off the floor, watching Milo attempt to put his pants on and wrapped my arms around Joe’s waist, “How do you do that?”

He shrugged, “It’s all in the tone.” I chuckled and he kissed the side of my head, “I hate when I have to be mean daddy.” He sighed, watching Milo.

I set my chin on his chest, “I’m sorry. He just wasn’t listening.” He smiled, “It’s because you can’t be mean mommy, or mean anything for that matter.”

I raised my eyebrows at him and ran my fingers down his chest, hearing his breath hitch while letting them trickle across the crotch of his thin pajama pants. “Joe.” I sighed in his ear. He moved to bring me closer to him but I slipped out of his grasp turning to Milo who was trying to put his pants on backwards.

Before I could reach him, Joe grabbed my hips, pulling my back against his front. “That was mean.” He whispered in my ear. I grinned and shrugged, “Point proven.”

He moved the hair away from my neck and pressed his lips softly against skin there several times. I relaxed into him and before I could stop myself a quiet moan fell from my lips. I reached for his arms wrapped around my waist but he moved away quickly. “Coming Braden!” He called. I cursed myself for giving in and scoffed when he called, “Payback!” from the hall.

I helped Milo, dressing him warmly and called for McKenna to come downstairs after they had made their beds. I padded down the steps and heard Joe humming softly from the kitchen.

I silently walked to the doorway and saw him looking out the large window facing the backyard with Braden setting on his hip, his small body wrapped in a thick blanket, one of his arms holding tightly to the back of Joe’s shirt and the other tucked in front of him, his thumb in his mouth. His face was buried in the side of Joe’s neck and I fought the urge to cry. Instead, walking to the other side of Joe. He wrapped his free arm around me and I laid my head on his chest, near Braden’s. I heard Milo and McKenna clumping down the stairs and Joe kissed the top of my head.

“Let’s bring him upstairs.” He whispered.

I nodded and followed him out the room, softly whispering to McKenna and Milo, “Wait down here until daddy gets back. Have fun today and be good for daddy. Love you.” I smiled pulling each of them into a hug.

“Love you too.” They both grinned up at me, letting them both plant a kiss on my cheek.

I climbed the stairs, walking quietly into our room, leaning against the door frame, seeing Joe readjusting the blankets around Braden and pressing a kiss on his forehead. He turned and walked past me, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the hall. He pinned his hips against mine, pressing me into the wall, sliding his hands onto my neck and planting his lips on mine.

I moaned into his mouth and parted my lips, letting him deepen the kiss. He broke it and trailed his lips down, sucking on my neck.

“Joe.” I sighed. “The kids are—”

He pressed his lips against mine again, cutting off my words and slipping his tongue into my mouth. I gave in and gripped at his hips, attempting to pull him closer to me.

After a few minutes he pulled back, out of breath,

“Sorry.” He breathed, pecking my lips once more,

“I’ve been wanting to do that all morning.” He smiled sheepishly and I grinned, not letting go of him,

“Why are you apologizing?”

I asked, not waiting for an answer, leaning forward and crashing my lips against his. He wrapped his arms around me and managed to pull back after a couple of minutes had slipped by.

“I love you.” He said, smiling down at me, his breathing heavy.

“I love you too.” I sighed, hugging him back, “Have fun.”

He pulled back and kissed by forehead before sticking his head in our room, checking on Braden, quietly turning back to me, “He had a fever of 102, I gave him some Children’s Tylenol. So he’ll need some more in a few hours. Make sure he drinks a lot of liquids, so he doesn’t dehydrate…there’s apple juice in the fridge. Call me if you need anything.”

I nodded and smiled at his protectiveness, “Will do.” He smirked and pecked my lips once more, before walking down the stairs.

I carefully walked into our room, leaning over and planting a soft kiss on the top of his head before walking downstairs and grabbing the thermometer, his medicine and a sippy cup full of apple juice.

I made it back upstairs and set them on the nightstand next to Braden and climbing in the bed, settling next to him. He opened his tired eyes and barely lifted himself from the bed, scooting over as far as he could until his small body was pressed against mine. I felt a pang in my heart when he whimpered, another violent shiver racking his body.

I wrapped my arms softly around him , holding back the tears wishing there was anything I could do to make him feel better. He slowly slipped back to sleep, and I watched him, not wanting to let my eyes leave him in case he needed me. As the quiet moments ticked by, I found it harder and harder to stay awake. I finally subdued to my sleepiness and only awoke again when I heard Braden crying.

My eyes snapped open and I immediately sat up, pulling him into my lap.

“Hey.” I cooed, hugging him to my chest, “What’s the matter baby?”

“Mommy.” He cried desperately, his small hands clutching to my shirt.

“I know.” I sighed holding back my own tears, lightly stroking his hair, trying to comfort him. “I know.”

I reached over and handed him the sippy cup that he gladly took, tears still spilling down his face. I saw it was time for another dose of medicine that he wasn’t so willing to take. I took his temperature and frowned when i saw it had went up to 103.5 in the matter of a few hours.

He finished off the apple juice and I wrapped the blanket around him, and he cuddled into my lap, slipping his thumb in his mouth and resting his head on my chest.

I softly laid him back on the bed and watched him sleep for a long time, not wanting to miss anything. I heard my phone vibrating on the side of the bed and I picked it up, seeing Joe’s picture flashing on the screen.

“Hey.” I sighed into the phone.

“Hey, how is he?”

I looked down at Braden, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath he took.

“Okay, I guess. He’s sleeping. He’s been sleeping all day. I don’t know if that’s good or bad—and he’s miserable and I don’t know what to do—” I choked out, feeling the tears coming.

“Shh, baby—I’m almost home. I’m going to pick up something to eat first so why don’t you hop in the shower and let him sleep it off, alright?”

“Mmkay.” I mumbled.

I took a shower and was almost done blow drying my hair when Joe walked in the bathroom, his face pale and his eyes were wide and pained. I felt my heart beating wildly and I felt myself started to panic.

“What? What’s wrong?” I asked, tears instantly stinging my eyes.

“Kevin’s on his way over. We need to go to the hospital, okay? And please baby--please just try and stay calm--for me, okay?” He said, his voice cracking, his hand smoothing over my baby bump.

He was trying to keep himself composed so he wouldn’t worry me but I knew he was freaking out on the inside and why didn't he want me to freak, what was wrong?

“Joe, please—please Joe—” I looked up at him, tears now flooding my cheeks.

“Braden.” He choked, not wanting to admit it himself, as he wrapped a supportive arm around my shoulders, leading me into our room.